Spending my lotto millions*

750 million dollars.Can you believe it**?

So the first thing I'm gonna do is buy eveybody I know a car. But not just ANY old car like Oprah does when she personally ponies up the cash and buys a bunch of cars has her producer cut a deal with an auto manufacturer to supply free-of-charge a studio-audience worth of new cars.

No no no.

I shall give a specific car to a specific person. For instance:

Leandra will get a brand-new green & white Chrysler 300.
Visionary will get a brand-new black Lincoln Navigator with a plow.
Croila will get a pink humvee.
Kal will get a bright blue PT Cruiser
Rauf will get a zebra car, so he can go quietly and look like another zebra in the forest... (I think zebras don't live in forests, tho...)
Babzy will get a happy yellow stretch limosine with a gorgeous driver named Sven.
BBC will get a Diesel Dodge Ram Pickup truck in white - modified to run on french-fry oil.
Amanda will get a green VW beetle.

Und so weiter.

Just imagine it, guys! You open your door up and peek outside and see a brand-spanking-new set of wheels waiting for you!

I think the second thing I'm gonna do is buy houses. I want to own both my grandmothers houses, as well as the house I grew up in, and a very large, very secluded house somewhere in North Carolina - far enough away from the coast so as to not be hurricane-fodder.

Sure, that's a lot of houses, but my greed is insatiable - not to mention that 750 mil can buy a lot of real estate, which should be a good investment again after this current crisis passes.



Tomorrow I will go looking for furniture...

*Long before even buying a ticket.
**I hope not!! I don't believe ya'll are THAT gullible...

333 days.
Grampa used to drink warm "333" beer. I shall take this as an omen.

Toozday...

Well, here it is, Tuesday, and I've still not gotten to Costco to pick up the last of my prescriptions. Too cold!! I can never get a parking spot anywhere within a city block or so from the store, so I've been bad and didn't go - but I have GOT to go tonite because I"m out of diltiazem, and I can TELL when I don't take it - get palpatations and all.

Soooooooo - heigh ho, heigh ho, it's in the cold I go..... Ugh. Trying to be perky about trudging through the frozen tundra of the Costco parking lot is not working. I guess I shall have to put on my curmudgeon hat and grumble a lot.

I do have a new hat. It is ridiculous. A while back I had posted a photo of me hiding behind my protest sign at one of the peace rally's here - wearing my brown coat and silly pink hat. Well, the silly pink hat is still functional, but it is old and I'm getting a bit tired of it. Also, it pulls out my ponytail, which is then a PITA to recomb and re-tail. So I got a new hat. It is blue and black and white/grey. It is head-hugging, kind of like the silly pink hat, but it is even sillier looking. It is FLUFFY. Furry!! It looks like a blue and black and grey cat lying on the desk here by me. It is, however, warm, and not the pink hat, and it doesn't pull my hair all over.

You know, I've been looking at how often I post. It's a good thing they don't pay me to write this blog, because I'm one piss-poor correspondent.

By the way - Croila asked why I spell it Sn*w... BBC got it right. After the first 1/2 inch or so, it becomes a vile and nasty 4-letter word that should not be spelled out in polite company!!

335 days

The Elmhurst Matterhorn

I really need to get my digital camera fixed. There is this mountain of sn*w in the parking lot of one of the few remaining Dominicks Food Markets here near where I work. Built by the titanic efforts of the plow guys, this is not just a sn*w pile, nor is it just a bit larger sn*w-hill - I believe I actually saw SKI LIFTS on this one... (/sarcasm)

The distressing bit about this particular mountain of white misery - is that they put it right at the intersection where 2 entrances (from perpendicular streets) converge. You cannot see either around or over it, making entry into the parking lot a crapshoot with regard to avoiding a collision.

(In honor of this new glacier-in-training, I am using as many poly-syllabic words as possible to emphasize the enormity of this gargantuan sn*wmountain.)

Moving on...

My ears are uneven. One of them is either larger or parked higher on my head than the other one. No wonder I've never gotten a decent haircut in my life... I discovered this tidbit this morning while staring at my glasses sitting on the desk next to me. The eyes part sit flush on the desk, one of the ear-hook-side-pieces-that-have-a-real-name-but-I-forget-it also sits flush on the desk - but the OTHER one (ehsptharnbIfi)hovers - HOVERS, I say!! - about 1/8 of an inch over the desktop.
As I am fair certain that the desktop is flat and level (pencils do not roll around all over it unless pushed), I can only surmise that one of my ears is off-kilter.

This amuses me.

Told you I'm easily amused!

Amanda - your slipcover pattern goes in the mail tomorrow, as I need to buy a large enough envelope for it tonight. (I thought I had one.. *sigh*) Would love to see a photo of the finished product!

Some disturbed young man shot up a classroom at NIU. This is getting ridiculous. If you can't cut it at school - DROP OUT, don't shoot up your classroom!!! Jeezzz.

339 days

(PS - Edit In - I just remembered the name for those things on your glasses "Temples". Weird name for ear thingys, IMNSHO)

Strange Dreams

My grandmother lived in a bungalow on a quiet, tree-lined street in a very nice little urban area. For the life of me, I cannot remember what the light fixture in her kitchen looked like, but I can remember the kitchen vividly. I learned to quilt in that house, and learned a lot about cooking, gardening and sewing in general there as well.

It was one of my favorite places to go as a child, and so I do know why I visit it frequently in dreams. Why the roof would be leaking is a question, though.

And the leaky roof pouring water into the kitchen, and starting a sparking fire in the light fixture (which I know for a FACT was NOT a long dangly chandelier...). Grabbing a small fire extinguisher off the refrigerator (unlikely!!) and trying to put the fire out. Spraying foam everywhere, and still seeing flames. Yelling to my brother to help Grandma go to the basement and pull the fuses, he objected to that because I'd be pulling him away from his homework.

Then a strange dressingroom or bathroom stall type cupboard appeared where the telephone used to be, and 2 guys all 3/4 covered in fire extinguisher foam started singing "Stick Magnetic Ribbons on your SUV" (exactly the way the Asylum Street Spankers do it...)

That's the last time I eat hot noodles right before bed, I think.

Amanda - check the previous post comments for my e-mail address - or you can just click on the link in my profile.

340 days

Sn*w today... Sn*w tomorrow....

They sent us home from work early again today. Didn't really know why - the roads were a bit slippy, but not bad, and traffic was light. I went to the book store and postal orifice.

A couple of answers to comments from the last post...

No Babzy - colds, sore backs and weather always travel from west to east, and I'm east of you, so it must be someone else "blessing" you. And we do have English muffins here. I like cinnamon/raisin ones, and sourdough ones. With marmalade!!

Amanda - I have 2 different patterns for sofa covers. One is kind of like slipcovers - almost looks "reupholstered" although not quite. The other one is sort of a drapey thing with ties that looks like an "Great-Great-Aunt Sophie" kind of furniture cover. The effect is kind of like what my grandma's chair in my livingroom looks like with that cover pinned over it. Send me an e-mail with your address and which of the patterns you would like and I'll send it to you.

BBC - I put my back out the first time about 17 years ago from carrying wallboard in to the house and up a flight of stairs at my Dad's old house. It was that really heavy green-coated stuff for use in bathrooms. Now about once a year or so, I'll be doing something totally normal like washing the floor or making the bed and my back will decide to spasm. Sometimes it's just awful - sometimes, like this one, if I can straighten up correctly quickly enough and get ice on it fast, I can work it out on my own.

I'm feeling quite virtuous - paid all the bills last nite and got them into the mail this morning (those that do not yet have online billpay - neanderthal businesses!!)

Thanks to Lea, who sent me a nice gift-card for Half-Price Books, I was able to buy 10 books for $12 tonite. THANK YOU LEA!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs*

342 days

Just a Rather Nice Day

Hello again, everybody.

You know, some lifetimes you just can't "win". No sooner did I get over my cough/cold/sore throat/upper respiratory thingy, than I spasm'ed my back again scrubbing the commode in the bathroom. If it's not one thing, it's another. Getting old sucks.

Nothing major - just a nagging little backache. I'll survive - it's getting better already. Just one more annoyance. I need to stop thinking in terms of the annoyances and just "go with the flow" more, I think. One cannot, however, forgo cleaning the commode, so I'll have to get a long-handle scrub brush.

Kal got me going this weekend - going to the store for sourdough bread, to make toast Seems he went to a call and the hallway was filled with smoke. Turned out the guy with the problem's roommate had burnt toast to a crispy critter just before Kal and his partner arrived. J, who sits behind me at work, has a toaster in his cube, and I think it has several lifetimes worth of breadcrumbs at the bottom. Every time he uses it, the whole office smells of toast. Somehow I always seem to forget how much I really LOVE toast - until I smell it. Then I crave it for HOURS.

So this morning I had some lovely sourdough toast, and a vanilla latte, and the world was cold, but sunny, so everything was nice - and Senator Obama is doing well.

Nice days are boring, but I don't always want to sound whiney on here. I think I will stop off at the fabric store on the way home and try not to buy them out. Remember - she who dies with the most fabric... WINS!


343 days

Super-ness

In a recent comment, my dear friend Visionary said: "btw.. my local sport franchises are better than yours."


I am fully aware that he's ranting, raving and terribly unhappy this morning, as last night his favorite "Merkan Football" team failed to complete a perfect season. I found the game quite fascinating, enjoyed it even to the end (although I cringed, knowing that somewhere in the Northeastern USA, a top was blowing...)

You know - I used to didn't understand the game - and didn't much like it, although Mom loved to NOT watch the Bears when the game was on (she would get somewhat hysterical if they had a turnover or failed to convert on 3rd and long... This was, however, in the days of the "Payton" offense - "Left to Payton, Right to Payton, Left to Payton - Punt") - but I now really do enjoy it, although I'm known to occasionally fall asleep to the dulcet tones of the announcers.

I was somewhat disappointed with Mr. Brady from the beginning, however. Ok, yes, you're a damn good QB and you've had a hell of a season - but would it really hurt you, or your concentration, to be a gentleman and act like it when your opponent wishes you well before the game? You acted like a spoiled elitist snob. I think it may have just been "nerves" - heck, even the best can be nervous, especially with the pressure of "Four-Time Superbowl QB" and "Perfect Season" hanging over your head - but c'mon - even in LITTLE LEAGUE they teach ya to be a good sport in public, Tommy. Game face my ass. Be polite.

I read what the yahoo guy thought about the Superbowl commercials. He didn't pick the one that made me laugh hardest... the "Bud Light Makes You Breathe Fire" one cracked me up. Easily amused? Moi? Of course!!

Right before the game, Faux Sports had a bunch of people in a montage reciting the Declaration of Independence. They claimed it to be "The most important document in American History", although I think the Constitution is more important. Still and all, I suspect George Bush wasn't watching that part - his handlers couldn't let him do, what with all the references to how it is the DUTY of people to overthrow corrupt governments...

Tomorrow is "Super Tuesday" - I guess I'll go vote. The local rag hasn't printed a "sample ballot" giving me local candidates to check out, which sucketh and doth not swallow, but I suppose I can checkmark a few boxes. Just Say No to totally-electronic voting - until Diebold decides to become honest. We get a choice here - paper or paperless. I pick paper, because I don't trust the machines.

Which is ironic - as the very first time I ever voted (in Denver) was using a machine. It wasn't electronic really, though. Mechanical mostly, I think. You moved the levers to point to the candidate you wanted, then when you had everyting "just so" - you pulled this BIIIIIGGGG handle to record your vote, and reset the machine.

I have just discovered that one of my books in my bookshelf is well over 100 years old. Imagine that. It was one of my mom's books from when she was a little girl. The interwebs are soooo interesting...


350 days

On "Pop Culture"

It's all over the news, Heath Ledger died. Apparently this is some kind of tragedy. Not that dying isn't always a tragedy to your family and friends, but this is supposedly a newsworthy tragedy - and I'm sure other than a very short and inexpensive Obit in the local rag, I'll not get much in the way of news if it is me kicking the proverbial bucket.

I have no real clue who this "Heath Ledger" was. An actor, apparently, as they keep bringing up that he played a gay cowboy. I had no interest in seeing "Brokeback Mountain", so I really have no idea if he was such a talented actor as to make his death an international newsworthy "Tragedy" or not.

Caffeine "Energy Drinks". Bleh. They taste like warm, flat lemon-lime gatorade. Eugh. Even when they are cold, they taste warm. Why not just drink coffee? I'm unimpressed - and the fact that a model who bears a very striking resemblence to Paris the Drunken Sleaze is used advertising one of them on a billboard on my way to work is reason enough to NEVER buy one!!!

Speaking of the Drunken Sleaze - why do we care? Why do we see her name, or that of the Drunken Bald Mommy, all over Yahoo News every freaking week? Granted, she has a shapely little skinny body - but other than that (Grampa is NOT giving her his billions), what is so fascinating about this brainless twat? Or is that the point, boys? *snicker*

It's getting to where I feel like a stranger in a strange land... the world I knew is gone, and there is this cellophane-wrapped neon-colored strobe-lighted fantasyland that is replacing it.

I'm unimpressed.

353 days

Strange things on the way home from work

You know those little dangly "air freshener" things that hang from rear-view mirrors in cars?

Usually shaped like dolphins or pine trees or flowers?

This guy behind me had one. Not unusual. What was unusual was the "saying" that was on it. It was just a white square... You know how people use a "heart" symbol for "love"? Like "I (heart) my Rottweiler" bumper stickers?

This guy was advertising that he (heart) his penis.

Right.

Ok.

Yes.

Ahem.

So.

I stop at my favorite store on the way home to buy a telephone cable because I'm going to do some furniture-moving in the livingroom and will need a longer telephone cable. In I go, and out I come with a cable, a packet of "Twinkies", a DVD, 2 air-fresheners, a candle and a package of socks.

And parked not 10 inches from my driver-side door is a fucking grey Hummvee.

There isn't enough room between his fucking tank and my door for a fucking anorexic supermodel to get into my car, much less pudgy lil' me.

And this asswipe is on his cellphone in the driver's seat - rather POINTEDLY ignoring me.

So he gets out, and starts in to the store, at which point I say loud enough for the folks in the next county to hear "So, I guess I'll have to wait for him to get done shopping to move his TANK so I can get in my car"

He comes back "It's just a big car..."

"You've parked it on the line - I cannot possibly get into my car with your TANK there - could you please move it?"

General Patton got into his tank in a huff and moved off 6 slots further away from me. Worked for me. Fucking asshat. What, just because HE doesn't care about the environment means I have to wait for him to get done shopping in order to drive home?

Not bloody likely.

I'll try and download that "Trillian" thing tonite after work, V. Thanks.


354 days

Another Cold Day in Paradise

I type this at lunch at work. The home computer is doing strange things with the internets.

For instance - my Vonage VOIP works fine - except when I call my Dad, when it cuts in and out. Dad swears it is NOT his hearing aid. My blog lets me log in from work, but only about 1/2 the time from home.

My IM programs only stay "on" for minutes - sometimes seconds - at a time. Then they make me go "offline" - even though the modem looks fine and I can still look at webpages and blogs and stuff.

I am thinking this may be a "drivers" or compatibility issue (I haven't upgraded the IM software for years...) - but the last 2 weeks I've been too sick to deal with it - upper respiratory infection, laryngitis and the cough that rocked so much it's a good thing I wasn't near the San Andreas Fault or they'd have to make a new 49 state flag.

It's been cold and miserable, cold and clear, cold and snowy - and cold and cold.

I swear my local Starbucks has decided to take a page from the "Office Space"/T.G.I. Friday's handbook. The baristas are wearing lots of little "bling bling" pins and stickers on their aprons - and the guy at the drivethru window treats me with the kind of familiarity you'd expect from a guy who thinks he's trying to get laid...

All I want is my fucking coffee, please - and a blueberry scone.

Bah.

Went to Jewel Foods to pick up a few odd items - NO MORE!! They have TELEVISION at the checkouts now.... EUUUGGGHHHHHHHH.


357 days