Friday, March 24, 2006


Isn't it funny how the world expands and contracts around one?

Yesterday I was a "citizen of the world" - concerned about the political situation in my country and the effects of foreign policy on the world.

Today my mother is dying.

My mother will not live to see her next wedding anniversary. 56 years it would be.
She won't live to see another April. My mother is dying.

My world has contracted. All I can think about is my pathetically dysfunctional family and that my mother is dying.

Well, Paul - you're getting your wish. My mother is dying. It's what you wanted. It's what you told me you would "pray" for, when she went into the nursing home.

I hope you're happy, Paul. I'm not. I'm heartbroken, breaking, suffering, falling apart at the seams, crying. My mother is dying.

And I don't know if I'll ever see her again. Depending on what Dad decides to do, I may not. And Dad's decisions will be based in part on what You, Paul, talk him into doing. You wished my mother dead - you're getting your wish.

Mommy. Oh god... Mommmy......

Monday, March 20, 2006

I love my cubicle...

Last week on Friday, I switched desks. Gone from the fishbowl "steno pool" atmosphere of the front office, and into a high-walled private area back in the QA and purchasing departments.

Granted, I am here alone. There is enough floor space to make up a small dance floor, and it is so quiet, I feel as if I can do ANYTHING. No more answering phones, no more having to get up if someone comes to the door, and no more chatty-Cathy co-workers or Nosey Parkers trying to read what is on my screen.

I can eat my lunch in peace, go the accounting stuff in peace, and stay focused on what needs to be done instead of trying to avoid dealing with the shenanigans of co-workers who have declared that they "don't like me".

*rolls eyes*

It's like a little slice of heaven.. *grin*