Friday, November 17, 2006

The "Oh SHIT" moment

Ever have one of those "OH SHIT!!" moments?

Most of us who have driven for any length of time know the moment - it's when you KNOW that you're going to be in an accident - and there's dickall you can do about it... OH SHIT.

Or you watch in horror as the crystal candydish begins a slow-motion freefall off the countertop toward the tile floor, 2 armslength out of reach, because you pushed just that TOUCH too hard on the plastic tumbler you were trying to balance on the side of the sink? OH SHIT.

Yesterday was windy as hell here. Ok, bad analogy. Windy as.... a really, really windy place with lots of strong wind! (Yes, Chicago is "The Windy City" - no, it doesn't have anything to do with the weather. Actually, the nickname came about because of all the hot air blowing out of the Chicago City Council chambers. REALLY!!)

But I digress.

So last night I got home late because I had to stop and pay the mortgage, then I stopped to pick up drugs (at the PHARMACY, you perv!!) and then stopped at JoAnn Fabrics where I found some utterly delightful winter fabric with penguins all over it.

So I'm schlumping down the back alley in the dark, and I get to my gate, which is blown open again (nothing new) - and go for the back door... which is open.

I never leave the door open. I especially never leave the door open when it's freaking COLD outside. I'm horror-struck. Someone must have broken in?? What about my TV? The computer? The Stereo? The CATS!!!??

Now - sensible me - did I call the cops? Fuck no. I flipped on the kitchen light and looked about. Microwave? Check. TV? Check. VCR/DVD/Stereo? Check. Computer? Check. Cats? Maow... Maowwwwwowwwww!!! Check.

It was very windy yesterday morning when I left for work. Windy as a really, really windy place with lots of strong wind. Last nite my bedroom was hotter than hell. (See how we get back to hell again? Works that way.) I'm guessing that in my hurry to not be late for work, I didn't pull the door real tight and check it twice like I usually do, and the only "unauthorized entrance" was from the wind.

Goddess, I hope so, because I'd hate to find out later that someone had been in there and stole all my Raisin Bran or something...

Who knew??

The George W. Bush Loyalty Quiz

10 Questions to Test Your Allegiance to President Bush

"Your score is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. You hate Bush with a writhing passion. You think he is an idiot, a liar, and a warmonger who has been an utterly incompetent, miserable failure of a president. Nothing would give you greater pleasure than seeing him impeached and run out of the White House, except maybe seeing him dragged away in handcuffs."

Who knew??!!

What do you mean you knew? Bah!!! *giggle*

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Why cant' it be "Follow the Butterflies?"

Leandra and I were on the phone laughing about that the other nite. If you aren't already aware, in one of the Harry Potter books, Harry and his friend Ron are told to "Follow the spiders". Ron starts to whimper and says "I hate Spiders! Why does it have to be follow the spiders? Why can't it be follow the butterflies?"

It seems like I spend an inordinate amount of time "following the spiders" both literally and figuratively.

Figurative spiders like bills, chores, obligations - that tend to sneak up from behind and create "webs" that snag you into a frenzy of futile cleanup, only to find that the suckers have been breeding and piling up behind you while you were cleaning up the last batch.

Real spiders, who seem to think my house is Club Med for the winter. They're small ones, hardly can find one - but they make HUGE webs. And every time I take out my long-handled dusting thingy (it looks like a very longhaired cattail fern on the end of an adjustable pole), and think I've gotten them all, I find 1/2 dozen more the minute I put it away. I need to find some lavendar oil spray, I think. I'm told it keeps spiders away. I'll just spray it everywhere. So what if my house smells like the stage for a remake of Arsenic and Old Lace? It would be worth it.

Speaking of Arsenic and Old Lace - I want to find an Aspidistra. I have many, many patterns for antimacassars, but I want an Aspidistra - they say they are darn near impossible to kill, and I HATE Mother-in-law's Tongue (the other kill-proof houseplant), so I want one. Although I don't know if cats eat them. If they do, then I want one as soon as the cats depart for their afterlife.

Picked up a copy of "The DaVinci Code" movie DVD at Costco last nite. I liked that movie. I am thinking of getting my air conditioning fixed next month. YES I KNOW IT'S DECEMBER!! I figure the AC repair guys will be happy to get some work. Besides, it is a 3-paycheck month. :o)

Ok, back to the joy of Accounts Payable! Fun!! Excitement!! Receiver Matching and GL Coding!!! and if that's not good enough - I HAVE A BANK STATEMENT TO BALANCE!!!!

Just shoot me now, ok?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Theories of Relativity

Somehow, the vast majority of 2006 has gone flying by without bothering to stop, hang around, be noticed, make me anything but a year older (except for shackling the Shrub). The older I get, the faster it seems the years go past.

Sometimes it seems just like yesterday that it was 1976 and I had gotten my brand-new Buick Skylark without a spare tire (Anyone else remember the "rubber shortage"?)

Then I think about how much has happened since then - and yeah, it's 30 years worth of "things". Married, had a kid, divorced, lost my Mom, 3 other cars, bought a house, sold the house, bought a townhouse-condo, been hospitalized for a lot of icky things.

Why is it that Monday goes so sloooowwww, and Sunday goes by like the blink of an eye - in fact, if I blink on a Sunday, sometimes several hours pass before my eyes open up again.

A guy who talked to me for a while (a friend of a friend who was real nice for a while, then completely flaked out) used to say "I'll sleep when I'm dead". Sometimes the afterlife seems like an attractive alternative to being so TIRED all the time. No, no, no - I'm not going to do anything to HASTEN that along any. Just sayin'.

Why is it that I can go to Safeway and bring home $100 in groceries and have just 3 or 4 bags to show for it - but I can go to Caputo's and bring home $100 in groceries and have to park the car out front to unload from the trunk in 2 or 3 trips? The Safeway stores aren't all THAT much nicer than Caputo's, they don't have as nice of meat, and their fresh fruits/veggies are all hard as rocks.

The bigger the car, the worse the driver. Soccer Mom's in SUV's need to be banned from the streets during rush hour. Just sayin'.

Thanksgiving is almost here. I'll buy a turkey this weekend, I suppose. I do hate to scrape all the meat off them, but it's better for me than beef, I suppose, so I'll do it. Once a year, I can probably handle. I'm going to try making Pumpkin pie with Splenda. I'll keep you informed. If it's not TOO vile, I'll post a recipe.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Blessed Be:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

It's Monday again...

How the hell did that happen? Seems to do it about the same time every week.

I really don't want to have to get up and showered and dressed and off to work - not that I want to skip work exactly - I just want to stay here where it is warm (is COLD out there!!) and sleep. I can't seem to get enough sleep lately. I'm always tired.

Tonight is grocery-shopping night again. Seems I did NOT have good memory when I left my list of what all I need at home, so at least half of the stuff I got was unnecessary, and 1/2 of what is on the list I forgot to get. Figures. Memory is the 2nd thing to go, as they say.

Been re-reading "A Tale of Two Cities" - boy, Dickens was boring. The story is good, but the interminable amounts of description and exposition and side-color are just miserable to have to slog through. Cut to the chase, Chuck!!

I also watched "Star Wars, Episode IV - A New Hope" over the weekend. You remember? Luke and R2D2 and C3PO and Han and Leia and Obiwan? Back in the day, it was so BIG and overpowering and impressive. Maybe it's just my small TV and the lack of "Surround Sound" - but it just looked small and choppy and not-very-well made anymore.

Part of it may have been because I was watching the DVD which has some added scenes, and as soon as the additional material came in, my brain clicked out of "Movie-goer" mode and into "Movie Critic" mode. I NOTICED something different, and so I stopped being part of the story and became just an observer who observed a lot of kitsch and hackney.

Boy was Harrison Ford YOUNG then. Damn cute tho.

Ok - I have stalled long enough. Time to face the cold blast of shower before the warm kicks in - and deal with the horror that is my commute to work. Have a wonderful day, everyone.