Monday, August 02, 2010


I am angry. I am horribly angry - and I have no outlet. Carolyn, my soul-sister is gone, and with her my outlet for things like this - guilt and anger that have no place to go, but swirl around in my brain making me feel powerless, inadequate, small and frightened and even more angry.

Oy - Wench - I miss you so much right now. I know the words you would begin with, but my mind keeps swirling in this miasma of emotion and I can't hear your voice and feel the absolution wash over me, the permission to feel, and the forgiveness I can't bring myself to give myself just yet.

I can only catch portions of phrases, and it's not enough.

Logic only goes so far - emotion is overriding it and oh, how I wish you were here to help me screw my head back on correctly again.

I have to go it alone now. I know eventually (as UncleHBK used to say) "This too shall pass". I suppose it's time to grow up a little more and find an outlet that doesn't require another human being to get involved. I know housework does it for some - exercise for others - meditation...

Meditation is out. I'd brood and sulk. Exercise?..... dunno. I'll try some housework tonite. I doubt it, but I'll try.

Hey Mick - Emotional Rescue, please?