Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Handyman Arriveth

And I will have a new water heater tomorrow. And new guts for my toilet. All in all, I'm going to have a water-free floor & carpet shortly, and it will only cost an arm and 1/2 a leg - no major internal organs.

Had it not been for the car repairs, I"d be looking ok at all this - as it is, it is a good thing this is a 3-paycheck month.

Soon as I can get some more cash together, however, this guy is going to be put to work again and fix the upstairs bathroom issues, then I get to save up for the BIG things - I want to gut that upstairs bathroom to the studs, and then redo it with quality materials and waterproofing so that it lasts a REALLY good long time. And with a GIRL bathtub. The one in there now (I may have mentioned this before) is a Man bathtub:


I want a GIRL bathtub:


Some day my tub will come
Some day I'll soak in it
And together we'll bubble away
Like a Calgon Commercial on crack...
La, de, da da da da....
La, de, da da da da
LA LA DE DE DE DA DA DA DA...........

Ok, that's enough Disney for tonite.
I'm going to have to take a "sink bath" tomorrow with water heated on the stove, (how primitive!!) and put my hair in a bun, I guess. Tomorrow nite I'm taking a LONG, HOT shower!!!

579 Days

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Free Will

An interesting thought crossed my mind the other morning. This post deals with christian philosophy and theology, and does not always reflect my own views on religion. However, the only way to discuss a specific religion's philosophy and/or theology is to (at least temporarily)agree on a few basic matters for the sake of discussion. The existance of an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient "god" is one of these matters. The "infallibility" of the revised collection of ancient works known as the "Bible" is another, as is the existance of an evil force incarnate called "the Devil" or Satan. For the sake of this post, we shall allow those beliefs to stand.

It was an anti-choice arguement that started it all. First off - let me say that I don't buy into the "life begins at conception" theory. Due to having had a dermoid cyst, and due to things like ectopic pregnancies and the education on the growth of the zygote to fetus to birth, it is my belief that a separate life does not exist until the fetus is able to live outside the womb - without extraordinary medical intervention.

In fact, the bible seems to go a step further - until the child breathes, it is not a living soul, if you take Genesis literally. "[God]breathed into him the breath of life, and man became a living soul". This indicates to me that the writer acknowledges that without breath, there is no soul, there is no "life".

(Whoo boy - I'm glad I'm the admin here... this could get ugly)

Anyhow. One of the reasons that so many christians want to overthrow Roe v. Wade is that they believe that all abortion is murder (I don't agree) and that they have a "moral imperative" to make sure that these "murders" do not occur.

Free will.

According to the self-same bible, god gave everyone free will. The will to believe, or not to believe. The will to make good, righteous decisions, or the will to make poor, evil decisions. God did not decide unilaterally to foist his "good" agenda on mankind. Instead, he gave each and every person "free will" to make good or bad choices, choices they would eventually need to answer for after death, or at the end of the world, whichever came first, on the "Judgement Day".

If this is, then, TRUTH - how dare the Religious Wrong choose to decide FOR others what is and what is not good for them? How dare they be anti-choice? Is this not usurping GOD's authority? Does not the bible - not less than the New Testament, even - say quite clearly that only GOD can decide what is in a person's heart, and what is right and wrong? Did not god in the Garden of Eden punish mankind not for eating a fruit, but for seeking the knowledge of good and evil - something that god had reserved only onto himself?

To take away a woman's right to choose is, then, to do the work of the Devil.

Someone murdered our window washer

I read the small article in the local paper, but the name didn't mean anything to me. A 46 year old man beaten to death by at least 5 young men, all in their late teens/early 20's. Just another day in paradise, living near a big city. Repetition desensitizes you until it all seems to blend into a single entity.

The shock came when I saw the same article posted on the bulletin board at work - with a handwritten note attached on a sticky - "This was Jim, our Window Washer".

Suddenly that "*KICK*" of stunned shock at the brutality, the senselessness, the fear, sadness, disbelief - all those things that didn't happen at first reading come flooding in. Who would want to murder Jim the Window Washer? Why???

Granted, I didn't really know Jim all that well. He would come in with his buckets and squeegies and sponges, and just go about his work with a bit of a smile on his face. We didn't talk much, but they don't pay me to chat up the window washers here at work - but the times we did exchange a few pleasantries he was quiet and kind of self-effacing, a gentle soul. Who would want to murder Jim the Window Washer? Why???

Apparently 5 young men did. Their reasons weren't given in the newspaper article. His wife didn't have much to say when our boss called about where to send a donation in his name.

Since Jim hadn't died when they got him to the hospital, the boys were only charged with aggravated battery. As of the newspaper article, the charges had not yet been upgraded. Personally, I'd like to see the District Attorney throw the book at these murderous birth-control-failures and send them away for life. But then... I knew Jim - sorta.

More later when I've sorted out a few things in my own mind.

580 Days

Monday, June 18, 2007

Habitual Behavior

Habits are hard to break - we all know this.

Habits are hard to start too - some of them - the ones that start off with "I should..."

I should call my Dad more often. Unfortunately, it's so easy for me to get caught up in the depression that is my own life and not want to "burden" him with all the trivial annoyances that piss me off on a regular basis.

I should work on getting my house spotlessly clean except for the carpet because I can't replace that until the cats die, and the cats are remarkably healthy for being about 12 years old.

I should learn to control my anger, to stop hurting my own insides with the rage that fills me when confronted by things like idiots, fools, religious twitheads and GWB's photo. I can literally FEEL my bloodpressure rise, my brain bruising, my arteries screaming.

Sometimes, though, the habit comes easier. Sometimes it grows from a single event. Last spring my Mom died. As I sat beside her hospital bed, listening to those quick, raspy breaths, trying to be strong and not fall apart, it was too late to say "I love you, Mom" and know for a fact that she heard it. It was too late to KNOW that she knew.

I made a vow to myself that day - that I'd never let my Dad off the phone again without telling him how much I love him. This isn't easy, you know. Ours is not a family of huggy-touchy-feely - we're stoic German stock and keep those emotions firmly in check except when we're pissed off or hanging wallpaper.

The first couple times I did it, it felt so unnatural and weird. And I could tell that Dad was uncomfortable, because he'd just say "Uh huh" and hang up. Didn't matter. This wasn't about comfort zones - this was and is about needing to know for a FACT that he knows I love him, and that he KNOWS and HEARS it. I love you, Dad.

I called him yesterday afternoon for Father's Day. And not for the first time, but for the most clear and coherent time, he said "I love you too!"

Happy Fathers Day, Dad. I love you very much!

581 days