Thursday, July 10, 2008

"Courtesy" calls

I hate telemarketers. I despise ANYONE who telephones me whom I do not know. I want them ALL to die in a fire.

I hate collections calls (both making them and getting them!), but at least I understand them. Now, I'm not complaining about my Dr's office that gives me a Courtesy Call to let me know I have a Dr. appointment (since it's usually 3 months between appts, and I have the attention span of a gnat and a memory like a steel seive)

What I am ranting on right now is these so-called "Courtesy Calls" from vendors. My mortgage company was the first and worst.

Me: Hello?

ST(Stupid Twat): Hi, I'm calling from Sewmouse's Mortgage Company, is Ms. Sewmouse available?

Me: This is Sewmouse, is there a problem with my mortgage?

ST: Before I can tell you anything, I have to verify that you are, in fact, Ms. Sewmouse - I'll need you to answer these Very Personal Questions.

Me: Look, your phone number comes up in my caller ID as "Unavailable" - YOU called ME - I think that it is imperative that YOU prove to me who YOU are, before I give you my Very Personal Answers. Now - IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH MY MORTGAGE?

ST: I'm sorry, but until you answer these Very Personal Questions, I cannot answer that. Here is a telephone number you can call to verify that I am calling from Sewmouse's Mortgage Company.

Me: How the fuck do I know this isn't some phishing scam and this phone number belongs to Nat Pagle* who will CLAIM to be Sewmouse's Mortgage Company just to get my Very Private Answers???

The last 6 exchanges continue in the same vein for about 5 minutes... then
ST: (Hangs up on me)

The next morning I called my mortgage company direct (from the phone number on my little mortgage-payment-slips). The very polite lady there told me there was nothing wrong with my mortgage, but that it had been a "courtesy call" to let me know my payment was due in a few days. I asked her to name me ONE PERSON who would have considered that call to have been "Courteous". She failed.

Yesterday a ROBOT PHONE VOICE called our office to ask us to return their call to Federal Express - the COLLECTIONS division - and to MAKE SURE WE HAD OUR ACCOUNT NUMBER READY. Excuse me??????? Do I REALLY look like the type of person who can be pushed around by a disembodied robot phone voice????

Not to mention the fact that with more than one location, and several FedEx services, we have a number of Fedex account numbers. Would have been nice if the dipshit phone voice had indicated WHICH ONE.

So, in an effort to be obnoxious back, I returned the call to the Fedex Revenue Dept - and began dealing with what STARTED OUT as a snotty little collections agent. Of course, I quickly took the upper hand by demanding that he tell ME what account number concerned him, as I had several and really had no time to deal with this nonsense. SLCA lost a bit of his bluster.

Oh - then he wanted my phone number. Well, I can TRY to do that, although we DO have a 12-number hunt-group, so if it's not the main number, we're SOL. About this time SLCA started to become almost human. "Oh, here it is - this was just a COURTESY CALL - to let you know your Fedex bill is a little overdue"

So I told him that there was nothing at all "COURTEOUS" about having a robot telephone voice call - in fact it was downright RUDE - and that if they couldn't manage the COURTESY of having an actual PERSON make the call, then I usually do not bother to return them.

He hung up on me too. How COURTEOUS is that?

*WoW players will probably get the reference.

193 days

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Time Has Come, The Walrus Said...

to talk of many things:

Herbie and Roger

Roger is a goose. Roger lives in my back garden behind ze Lilies. Roger is made out of plastic, and at one time had a dapper little red velvet bow tie, but it has succumbed to the elements over the years. This is Roger:

Roger got his name from... I have no freaking clue. I only remember one day when Amanda was maybe 4 or 5 years old, and we were driving around and saw a bunch of geese. And somehow we named one of them Roger, and for years thereafter Amanda would ask for a "Roger" story, which always began with "Roger was a silly goose...." and I'm not 100% certain, but I believe that somewhere along the line we added in the bit about how trees eat squirrels, then poop them out as acorns, which the mean ducks with teeth eat.... Don't ask me. I don't remember. Stupid nonsense rambling stories were my forte. Still are. Q.E.D.

This is Herbie, my terra-cotta garden gnome in his Natural Environment - in the unusual circumstance of being laying on his BACK instead of on his face.

This is Herbie sitting on top of the Ginormous blue and white drinks cooler that I use instead as a garden shed, as my garden is far too small for a real shed, and the housing association won't allow them anyway. Herbie is standing next to a hand trowel and an 8" diameter potted plant for size comparison. Also because I was too lazy to move the trowel and plant. Meh.

Heads up to Kalshassan and Amanda - I need new mailing addresses!!! Not just e-mails, but snail-mails too! Phone numbers?.......................
So - we did the 4th of July thing - Brats, Beer and BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Kitties do not like firecrackers. Or roman candles set off in the street outside our condo. Or M80's. Kitties hide under the chairs, then come out and give me dirty looks as if I were responsible.

The cats were NOT HAPPY. They kept looking at me like " Mom. Make it stop. NOW"

I have GOT to find a way to listen to the video/audio of the people heckling Bush at a recent event. *grin* Seems like more people are "getting it"!!

This week is factory shut-down week for our company. So how come machines are running and the guys in shipping are working? Hmmmmmmmm???? (Don't answer. I'm sure there is a very good reason that I am just not getting, per usual.)

I am this [] close to getting a new chair for the upstairs office area. The old chair is broken, and the folding chair I've been using as a temporary replacement suxxors. Hurts my back. Maybe I should get a wireless mouse and a recliner...
195 days