Friday, May 18, 2007

Today We Are Two

Happy Birthday, Little Blog

Who would have guessed 2 years ago that I'd still be yammering on here now? Or that I'd have met folks from all over the place, some of whom have become friends (at least in MY mind!) and read my insane ramblings?

When I first started typing here on this date in 2005, I really had no idea what direction this blog would move. In many ways it has been a journey of learning about what interests me - not just for those who read it, but for the one typing as well. Every so often I have to go back and find my own "roots" - the parts of me that keep running away and hiding while I am busy trying to be "grown up" and "responsible" and crap like that.

My sincere apologies for the exceptionally PISS POOR edit on the cake picture. There was some goofy kid in tennis shoes who simply HAD to be removed - and why exactly is it that one can find TONS of pictures of cakes with 1 candle, or 3 candles, or 127 candles - but NONE with just TWO candles? So I had to get rid of a candle. So the cake looks kind of saggy. Sorry guys.

Hopefully it's not soggy - and everybody gets a slice.

612 days

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


The "Simpsons" is going into its 18th season this year, and challenging "Gunsmoke's" record as longest-running program. Rather amazing, really. A cartoon.

According to Nielsen, Americans are now watching less TV. Or watching it different ways than previously - by recording programs and watching later, or by streaming them on "pods" or other ways. The networks seem convinced that they are still being watched, just differently.

Newsflash to the networks: This mouse stopped watching television except for a RARE sports event or news program. Oh, and I will watch the "Nutcracker" on PBS every Xmas time.

Quite simply - I have no use for a monitor without a keyboard. If I can't really "interact" with it, I really can't drum up any enthusiasm for it anymore. I love video games, I like computer games, I enjoy watching movies (I knit or quilt at the same time), but I have no patience any more for the predigested crap that passes for "Entertainment" on television, and the "news" on TV is abysmally lacking. I don't get cable TV because I can't see the point of paying 50+ bucks a month for something I'd never watch. Same reason for not getting newspaper delivery - why pay for the privilege of recycling something? It's not like I have a birdcage that needs lining or anything.

Yes, the Big Bad Evil Internet has eaten my TV's space in my heart. All my TV time are belong to the Internet. *chuckle*

614 days

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Big Fat Bigot is Dead

Praise the Lord!

Falwell Highlights:

Regarding 9/11/01:
“I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say ‘you helped this happen.’”

"God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve."

Miscellaneous Bigotry:

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country." (Thomas Jefferson was the Devil?)

"I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course...and then he must be executed."

I haven't felt this good since my ex-mother-in-law died!!

Eat... sleep

I think this may be a side-effect of the diabetes, but I'm getting to where if I want to do ANYTHING at home at night, I better do it before dinner, because afterward I turn into jello and fall asleep like a rock. It's quite annoying, really.

From the "Good things" list - the bank statement at work balanced to the penny in less than 24 hours. I love it when that happens. Unlike 99% of the rest of the world, I actually ENJOY balancing the bank statement. It's like a puzzle or a cryptogram. Just keep chipping away at it until every number matches. The hard ones are frustrating, but still fun. THe easy ones do make me smile, however. It means I've done everything right for a whole month. That's rather amazing, no?

I need to remember to pick up beer on the way home - I bought some bratwurst and need to do the boiling bit before I can broil them. Beer-soaked bratwurst is one of the very FEW things from Wisconsin that are good things. (I am not a big fan of cheddarheadland)

Tonight I am planning on being a bit of a housework slug. I have 3 chores to do, and that's all I'm gonna do. Then I'll spend the rest of the time playing with fabric to finish cutting BBC's quilt out and to get another "square" done on the fish quilt so the frame will be ready and free when I need it.

615 days

Monday, May 14, 2007

Mothers Day After

I remember the night I knew you were on the way, Amanda. I cussed out your Dad for predicting you'd be born on his birthday - I wasn't ready yet, and I was hoping for St. Paddy's Day instead. The bedroom wasn't painted yet.

I remember watching the sunrise over downtown Denver in the birthing room during the short pauses between contractions, and I remember how my heart swelled up and filled with love when they told me "It's a girl" - and all I could say was "Amanda!!" I was so unbelieveably glad you were there, that you were a girl, that you were alive and healthy.

I remember the first night that you were home - how the bedroom smelled so very bad from the fresh paint, and so I slept on the sofa next to your bassinette - and you cried until I picked you up, and you fell asleep on my chest.

According to you I've been a shit Mom, and so I'll accept that. Nobody but you can make that call, since nobody else has me for a Mom. All I can say is that I did the best that *I* can do. I'm sorry it wasn't enough, or it wasn't right. Life sucks that way sometimes, however, and even when we do our best, sometimes it isn't enough.

I still love you just as much as I ever did that morning 25 years ago.

You left us a little over a year ago, and I miss you more every day you're gone. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to pick up the phone and tell you about something, only to have to stop and relive the pain for a few seconds again. You were the glue that held things together in many ways, and now that I see them flying apart it becomes ever more apparent.

You gave up your career for us, you gave up your independence for family. I love you dearly, Mom. I miss you very much.

Some day I'll be with you forever. I still feel as if you were the only person in my life who has ever loved me "unconditionally" - without reservation. I never felt "adopted" around you, you were my gramma forever. I remember your kitchen and the apple coffeecakes, your basement with the secret toy stash, your garden with all the sweet allyssum, your diningroom with your (now my) silver tea set, your livingroom with the quilting frame set up in it, the front screen-porch with the boxes and boxes of homemade christmas cookies.

Gramma, I still cry when I think about you. I love you so much. I will never, ever, forget. Some day I'll be with you forever, and with the grampa I never knew.

In honor of "Mother's Day", I planted out the rest of my flowers in the front, including the 6 pink and white geraniums. I can't plant sweet allyssum without getting maudlin and crying, so I don't. It was always for Mothers Day we would go to the garden shop and buy a flat of petunias or something for Mom to plant around the house. Garden flowers always feel like "Mothers Day" to me.

This morning they all looked happy and fairly healthy. There was an ant crawling around on the peony. (A good thing)

616 days