Friday, December 01, 2006

Heads Will Roll

I very specifically told Leandra that she was NOT allowed to send her snowstorm to me. She did it anyhow! BLEH.

It is my personal opinion that the law in Illinois needs to be changed, and anyone and everyone who was born or learned to drive SOUTH OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE needs to be deported from the state on November 15 and not allowed back in until May. This can, should and probably will, be extended to include people from western Indiana as well, since apparently living in Gary has addled your brains.

You don't know how to drive in snow. You haven't learned. You need to leave.

I'd also like to give you this lil' bitty hint:

JUST BECAUSE YOU OWN A 4-WHEEL DRIVE SUV DOES NOT MEAN THE LAWS OF PHYSICS HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED. Ice is still slippery. Snow is just ice in little-bitty-pretty crystalline bits. SNOW IS SLIPPERY. You can slip on 2 wheels or slip on 4 wheels, but you are GOING to slip and slide around. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Yo - Asshat in the SUV "Mommymobile". yes, I left 8 car lengths between me and the asshat in front of me. No, I didn't leave them for you to go barrelling into. It takes us at LEAST that much to slow down from 30mph on the SLIPPERY SNOW. Get the fuck back in your own lane, slow down, keep away from me - or go back South of the Mason-Dixon for the winter.

OOOOHHH, yah, Mr. Cool Stuff in your fancy penis-extender-sports-car - yes, those bald fat tires were fun this summer. Too bad they're LESS THAN USELESS on the SLIPPERY SNOW.

Get a life. Grow a pair of your own. And go back South of the Mason-Dixon, NASCAR boy.

And to top it all off - someone parked in MY parking spot at work!
(Yes, I do have a reserved parking spot.)

HEADS WILL ROLL!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well we just like to share all that snow with others don't you know. :-)

Yeah, kick those asshats out of there, but don't send them this way hon, plenty of asshats here now. Hugs.

betmo said...

sounds like it is a tgif day. i loathe suvs.

Peacechick Mary said...

I just called my son who lives in the Chicago area and they are all safe and sound watching Polar Express. What a choice. Your blog page is all screwed up for some reason and it takes some detective work to find the comments. Stay warm and cozy.

John Good said...

All of our snow over here arrived in the form of rain; nearly 2 inches! It's floods rather than drifts today in Fort Wayne. . .

The Dark One said...

I love my SUV. Of course.. they are needed where I live. The hills and snow and shitty roads just kill little cars.

Anonymous said...

Dark One... Bullshit. I can drive a two wheel drive car anywhere you drive your fucking SUV, in any city in the world. I have skills, you have a fucking SUV because you have no skills. You are a fucking monkey that needs something doing what you can't.

I've plowed snow with two wheel drive rigs, you are lucky if you can fucking make it to the Safeway store with your SUV, did I just piss you off? I hope so, because that is my intention. :-)

Learn how to respect mass and motion you fucking idiot. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Umm, sorry Sew, I just don't know what got into me.

*giggle*

Anonymous said...

"I prefer the Walnut Grove Church, but right now with a lot of sn*w on the ground, I don't think I'd want to sit there and meditate either!"

Really hon, I just don't get this idea of meditating in any one place. When I fall into a lapse of meditation it can be anywhere.

All those books on meditation, they are just monkey shit. People writing books and making money off of those that buy them.

Meditate where ever and whenever it strikes you to. :-).. Hugs.

Kvatch said...

Well...admitting that I'm one of those 'south-o-the-mason-dixon' wastes (despite 5 years in Minnesota), just let me say that the best snow car I ever owned was no SUV, no 4-wheel drive truck. No it was a Ford Festiva, that the Frogette used to refer to as..."The Roller Skate".

And why was this such a good snow car? Two reasons, first it had these teeny, skinny tires that cut through snow and ice. (Lbs per square inch of rubber on the road you know.) Second, after getting the flippin' thing dirty all winter, you literally take a hose to it, inside and out.

Anonymous said...

I worked for Ford back then, the Ford Festiva was a cool little car and well built for the price.

No sign of Sewmouse today, I hope that the storm didn't harm her area too much.

The Dark One said...

Congrats, BBC. You can drive 2WD. Help yourself to a cookie. And you can curse and call me names too.. How quaint...

You know, you're fairly hostile for a so-called spiritual guy. You should take a xanax or something. At your age it's dangerous to get too riled up.

I'd continue this post to elaborate how much of a tool you are, but you know, I just feel this dying need to run some poor compact off the road after helping to destroy the environment some more.

Cheers! :)

Anonymous said...

Dark One.. Yeah, what ever, the spiritual get cranky because of you monkeys. Go to another planet to destroy yourselves and we will be happy. :-)

The Dark One said...

bbc...

Yeah, figured as much. You self-righteous so-called spiritual types leave a stench that one can smell for miles. I know the type... the ones who cry 'Embrace tolerance for everyone... except those different than us'.

I prefer this planet, thanks, if only annoy your kind. I understand that you were here before, but that only means you'll be leaving it before me as well.

/cheers! :)

Anonymous said...

Dark One.. I was the first awareness, the first voice, in this cosmos, and I will be the last.

Enjoy your visit while here because you won't be returning.