The earth - it thaws...

This morning I left for work and noticed that ALL 4 of my little mini-solar-powered lights were laying on the ground. The freeze/thaw/freeze/thaw had worked the spikey bits all the way to the top and they'd fallen. The first time this happened, I had to stick the light into a flowerpot because the ground was frozen solid and I couldn't even get the spikey part to go back into the ground at all, not even in the same hole where they'd fallen from.

This morning, however, I was able to stab them all back into the flowerbed nice and neat and in a row like they belong to be. Yay.

I should go get some seeds for sweetpeas - this is a good time to plant them because they take forever to grow, and then I get flowers a little earlier, even if it does freeze again, they can take a bit of cold-abuse.

I've been sleeping with the window cracked open the last few nights, but last night the wind was blustering so much that I had to close up. It's been nice having the window open, the "fresher" air, and the MOIST air, rather than the Sahara-dry forced-air-heat atmosphere was great. No need for my little spaceship-shaped air hydrater thingy (not really a "vaporizer" or a "humidifier" - kind of a hybrid)

It is time, I think, to start picking out in my head what kind of flowers and veggies to plant this year. I love Spring!

293 days

Perception - Point of View

Over the last few days I've seen the power of perception and point of view in action. As stated in the previous post - I found out last week that one of my closest friends has been diagnosed with Cancer. This is not "internet drama" - yet someone has told me that they percieved it as such.

Sorry to disappoint.

There are 3 kinds of lies, alledgedly according to Mark Twain - Lies, Damned Lies, and statistics.

I think many of the "Lies" problem comes when one person's vision of the "Truth" collides with someone else's vision of the "Truth".

Perhaps the eye-witness to a traffic incident would say "The guy was all over the road, weaving and swerving as if he was drunk!!"

Perhaps someone with another angle viewpoint would say "The guy was doing great, a bit over the speed limit - but when the little kid ran into the road, he swerved to avoid hitting her. I think he over-corrected, though, because he had a bit of back-and-forth before he got things straightened out again"

How much pain is "pain" - for instance?

I'm gonna admit something here - and Lea is gonna get mad at me. I wasn't sure she was being entirely up-front with me.

When she told me she was having pain from her "gall bladder" - but that it wasn't "all that bad", I was somewhat skeptical. Not that she had pain!! But Lea has a high threshold for a lot of things (she eats Thai food that brings out the entire kitchen staff to see if her head explodes from the spices, for instance) - and what I was afraid about was that she was DOWNplaying the actual severity of the problem because of her resistance to pain and stubborn (yes, You, Lea!) refusal to push herself forward and "inconvenience" other folks.

Do I suggest that she was "lying"? No.

Am I lying about that? NO!!

The fact is - I could not personally feel what Lea was feeling - and I've had gallbladder disease in the past, so I know what gallstones feel like and all - FOR ME. But even *I* have a fairly high pain threshold, so I'm not blind to the possibility that what would be "excruciating" for one person is "mild discomfort" to another. Listen to 20 women tell you about their childbirth experience and you'll get the general idea.

I think this hit me strongest when Lea made a comment about something she'd made arrangements for if "the worst" happened. She thought I would be angry at what she was proposing - I'm really not sure why - but from her POV, it was something I'd disapprove of. From mine, it was a very sweet something to plan on doing for someone she loves.

I don't know how to resolve these things. One person's "Truth" is another's blatant lie - or something similar. And yet I also know that there are relatively few "Dr. Evil's" in the world. Bush and Cheney and their ilk are an abberation, not the norm.

If we can be at such opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of those we respect and care about (LOVE!) - how can we possibly expect to ever find peace and harmony with those who have proven by their actions and words to be completely 180 degrees opposite our own thoughts/feelings/beliefs - Truth?

294 days

The "C" word...

What do you do when you find out one of your dearest, closest friends has cancer?

Not just a small tumor, but something that has spread and could get ugly?

And she's being strong and positive and trying with all her heart not to show how scared and sad and worried she is - being strong for "everybody else" - and looking at something with very, very bad potential outcome?

I feel that weak, powerless feeling - and I'm not ashamed to say I'm worried and a bit numb.


296 days

A lil' bit of dis, a lil' bit of dat...

It occurs to me that 99.9% of the strife and violence in the world could be eliminated if people would just follow ONE commandment - one that Moses apparently forgot to put on the rocks when he was up there on the mountain frantically taking God-Stenography by chipping away at them. In fact, I firmly believe this WAS the original first commandment, but Moses had gotten behind while looking for a good stone-chisel and forgot what the first one was -

"Thou Shalt MYOB"

What Does This Mean?

We should Fear and Love God that we may each Mind Your Own Business.

Thank you, 7th and 8th grade Catechism Class.

"Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me" is just plain ridiculous - if you take the position of the monotheistic Judeo-Christian-Moslem theology - because if there IS no other God, then how could you POSSIBLY take another one first? I mean - if there is one apple on the table, and you want an apple - you're rather limited in choices, n'est pas?

Particularly this occurs to me as I am entirely of the opinion that you just seriously cannot legislate morality. You can legislate against crimes against other persons - theft, assault, battery, murder - it doesn't really STOP them, but it does provide some accountability. But there are lots of things that religion opposes that really don't need to be criminalized.

Blasphemy - for instance. In many of the Islamoidiot run countries, "blasphemy" is a crime. It used to be a crime in many Christian countries until fairly (relatively) recently. Makes me want to slap them upside the turban and scream "Look - if Allah really is a God - then he's a fucking GOD - he can take a little criticism and joking - and if he can't, then it's still really NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS - he's GOD - he won't make a mistake and accidently punish YOU instead of the blasphemer!"

See, according to these "big three" major religions, they all have some Nasty Icky Place that you're going to go if you don't make G_D, Jesus or Allah happy. Whether it is Gehenna, Hell, or Las Vegas, Nevada - the Big Guy in the Sky has a place prepared for those who defy him, according to the scriptures. Since the BGitS already has it covered, it's rather redundant and a bit of a waste of time and energy for the BGitS's followers to run around chastizing and beheading and fairly much being dicks about it all. MYOB.

"Vengence is Mine - I will repay, saith the Lord " Romans 12:19

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So I guess I'm enduring try-outs for Greek Mythical Hero status. Every night I've been getting stabbing pains from my left ankle, specifically the Achilles tendon. The pain radiates up and down my calf. This is not particularly fun - but it's horrible annoying as it only seems to be evident at night, during the day at work and commuting I hardly notice it at all. I do, however, usually run around the house barefoot, and at work I wear shoes - perhaps a significant thing? Also, last night I wore an "ankle brace" - some compression bandage thing in a weird shape that wraps around your foot and ankle - and the pain in the ankle/Achilles tendon was much less, but when I took off the wrap, the FRONT of my ankle was painful to the touch - like very, very, very low shin-splints.

I don't want to have to go see a doctor about this, so I'm going to just wait and see if it improves. If it doesn't - I've got a Dr. appt. on the 10th, so I'll ask him then. It's not bad enough to spend an extra $30 on it - just a crappy annoyance, really. (Just someting to kvetch on my blog about!)

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Daffodil noses are peeking out of the ground in the back garden. I suppose I should get back there and clean out the mess from last year, but the ground is still rock hard - I tried to put one of the little solar-powered lights that had worked its way out of the ground back in, but even in the exact same hole the ground was too frozen to jam it in. A few more weeks, apparently.

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Diet Snapple Raspberry Iced Tea.

Yummy, to my utter amazement.

297 days

"Betrayal"

Senator John McCain - he who would like to be the next RepubliCON president today said that pulling out of Iraq now would be "an act of betrayal".


Dear Senator McCain:

NOT pulling our troops and contractors out of Iraq NOW is already a betrayal of the American People - and those responsible for sending them in the first place should be on trial for treason.

DIAF

Sewmouse.

Banking Woe

Ok, so I've been quiet - so sue me.

Well - don't, actually.

Anyhow - I've been "stomping out burning ducks" at work due to a bank error. A rather significant bank error that is making me a little crazy, and causing my boss to lose his hair. Apparently someone at our bank made a rather big "Oopsie" (Technical Accounting Term) and froze the assets in our account a while back. We didn't initiate it, we had plenty of money in our account to cover our debits - and the IRS wasn't after us. I found out when one of our vendors called to tell us that our check had been returned to her.

Needless to say, this particular vendor was a bit of a "problem child", in that we'd had some difficulty with their invoice and had only just resolved everything and authorized payment - so of course, THEY were the first to call me and let me know the check had been returned. Just like Mr. Angry - I was LIVID.

Little did I know just how much of a PITA this was going to be. Things that were supposed to be auto-deducted from our account such as car payments, loan payments, utilities, &etc - were all returned - refused - denied - and the folks who were supposed to get the money were told that WE had rescinded our permission for them to take it!!! Livid became a pale shadow of what I really was...

It's been going on for weeks now - I get a call from someone all confused and occasionally disbelieving when I tell them we really had NOTHING to do with it. The car loan folks immediately deleted us from their auto-pay program - and WE have to go in and fight with their website to reinstate us - the credit card company has put us on a THIRTY DAY CASH ONLY basis - we have to drive to one of their branches and pay them directly... And the best bit is this - since our bank is not listed on the credit card account as being someone the credit card company is authorized to speak with - they won't even TALK to our bank to find out that the bank screwed the pooch, not us!!

I don't mind taking pipe and dealing with asshatness when it's something I've actually done. There have been times that I've been less than entirely scrupulous about paying (my own personal, not the company's) bills on time or remembering stuff - and I suck up the bad that comes from it and try to remember to NOT DO THAT anymore - but this is fucking ridiculous - We didn't do ANYTHING wrong, and yet here we are being punished for some bank clerk's fat-fingered mistake.

I love my job.

But I really do hate banks. And credit card companies.

299 days

Things I'd LOVE to say at work.... but can't

"When exactly is it you wanted me to do my REGULAR work?"

"I'm asking you for a little help - not the life of your firstborn child."

"Actually, yes, Miss, there is a reason we aren't paying your invoices at 30 days - it's because you are SUCH an annoying GIT that I've asked my boss to hold your payments just to piss you off even 1/2 as much as you piss ME off"

"Don't ask me... nobody tells me anything."

"Do I look like a farking private secretary???"

"Sorry, I died last week. I'm not being replaced for a month."

"This isn't brain surgery - I need those receipts!!"

"I'm sorry - I only take phone calls between 9:00 a.m. and 9:02 a.m. please try again later."

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Disclaimer: Not all of the above are actually relevant to my current job. I actually love my job, despite the small aggravations and irritations and foibles.

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It's amazing, really, when I think about it. The last thing in the world I wanted to be when I was "grown up" was an Accountant. I got to visit where my Dad worked several times and I thought it looked hideously boring and tedious and blah. And to an extent, it is. But it's also something I'm good at, it's marketable, and it incorporates two of my favorite things - research and puzzle-solving. The puzzle solving comes in the form of my all-time favorite thing in my job - balancing the bank statement to the GL and the checkbook. Yes, I know I'm strange. If you don't know it by now, you haven't been paying attention.

307 days

The Typin' 'o the Green

Happy St. Patty's Day, y'all.

This is the day that Amanda was supposed to have been born - but her father had predicted that she would be born on his birthday (the 10th) and she must have heard him say it enough and so, the very last words she heard from Mom before the contractions started were screamed toward the bedroom from the bathroom: "TERRY!!! YOU AND YOUR G*****M PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!". Sorry Sweetie - I know it should have been the gentle shake and "Darling - it's time - the baby is coming... " and a shy smile and all. But your bedroom hadn't been painted yet, and the bed was still in pieces in the corner. And I wasn't ready yet!!! I thought I still had another week!

Ah well. *smile*

Tonite we're going to a party - not my forte by a long throw. I get itchy in rooms with too many people in them. It's like there isn't enough air or something. Nobody in this group smokes, so its not that - it is just me being claustrophobic or agoraphobic or possibly just weird.

Over the weekend it was warmer, and almost all the sn*w and ice melted in the back yard. This has made me frustrated, as the weather is not good enough to play in the garden, but I can see what a mess it is and how much work needs to be done on it. A squirrel was screwing around in the dirt a lot this fall, and he made a large mess in the flowerbed.

Have a WONDERFUL day!

308 Days

Geese on the Sunrise

It was chilly this morning, frost on the windshield and all that, but as I drove over the arch of the bridge over the hideously mis-named Elgin/O'Hare Expressway (which goes to neither Elgin, nor O'Hare), the sky was a pale, pale blue with those thin, wispy and slightly lumpy silver clouds, and the newborn sun rising behind them. A wedge of geese flew north through the sunrise.

I would have taken a photo, but they were winging it fairly quickly, and I'm not sure this cheap camera would have shown anything other than a dark blur against the beautiful sunrise, and you all would have been sending me packets of lens papers and micro-fiber cloth to clean my camera's nose.

It would appear that Spring is actually springing. While there is still a mound of ice in the back garden area, each night when I come home it's a bit smaller, and some of the plants from last year have a bit of green showing, primarily the Iris.

I'm looking forward to late spring this year because I'm interested to see which of my perennials that I planted last year have survived and thrived. I'm hoping the Lavendar does, I also hope the Peony has been fruitful and multiplied. The Daffodils take care of themselves, mostly, and I would like to see some better flowering on the pink Bleeding Heart, as last year it was a bit scanty and only the all-white ones did well.

I think I will try to grow peppers this year. The woman next door did some last year and got a lot of good-sized bell peppers and some jalapenos. Can't hurt, and certainly can't do any worse than the unsuccessful zucchini!

Been pouring over the seed catalogs - I wish I had enough of a yard to plant a real veggie garden again like I had in Denver. I don't miss much about Colorado, but I sure do miss the old house. Some day I will have to go back again and visit my tree. Maybe I'll remember to bring my farking camera and take a photo of it.

311 Days

Philosophy and Migraines

I have, over the last 24 hours, managed to solve all of the world's problems. It's all a matter of... well... I don't remember. Every time I get a headache I can do this - but I never remember.

See, I had a migraine last nite. Most of the night. Hurt like 100000 motherf*ckers motherf*cking. When I have these migraine headaches, I can't do much more than lay down in a very dark, very quiet room with a glass of tepid tea and a straw. It's about all I can do (physically) to sip a bit of tea from time to time without hurling.

My brain, however, goes on overtime. Thinking, philosophizing, and problem-solving. The only trouble is, memory is being utilized by the WTFOMGHEADACHE module, and retention is nil.
You would think that maybe having another person present to take notes would take care of the retention bit - but that would mean actual noise of a pen scratching on paper, a person breathing - and my own voice. Nope, no can do. Need complete silence and darkness.

Take notes myself? Shirley, you jest! (/bad "Airplane" joke)

So until they invent mental-telepathy-input to my computer - I guess we're all still screwed. Sorryyyyyyy.

312 Days