Thursday, March 05, 2009

Coming Up for Air

Oi, I hate being sick. I really really hate it. Saps all my energy (what little I have anymore), and threatens to drown me in a sea of snot. Bleuch.

So now I'm better, and can type again. I was told that my "about me" bit wasn't reflective enough of me, so I slightly changed it. I may change it all. I dunno. Most of the time I have been feeling cranky and all. I KNOW I'm stubborn.

I've had the worst cold - and what has to have been the Flu, even tho I got a flu shot - but now the CDC is saying that our tamiflu shots didn't do anything for the type of flu that is going around this year - figures.

As I said to one guy - I've been dragging ass like a dog with hemmorhoids. Myabe I should BATHE in hand sanitizer.

So I see in the news today where Turd Blossom is going to testify to Congress.

Seriously, besides the standard "Over 35 years of age and a natural-born citizen", they need to add another qualification -

"Have you any intention of appointing or soliciting advisors to whom you have given nicknames like "Turd Blossom" or "Scooter"???"

If the answer to that one is yes - you aren't qualified!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

If you are breathing...

Issues

I've got issues. I used to have Problems. But they became politically incorrect. I think some self-help motivation guru back in the 80's decided we have no more Problems (which could be SOLVED) - instead we have "issues" which can be "addressed". No wonder the world is so fucked up with nobody solving any problems anymore.

Issues.

"A" from the other side of the office came over to ask me if I had any "issues" with VendorX. I told him not today... So he gave me some information in case I had any "issues" with VendorX. At which point, I realized - I have "issues" with everybody. Everyone in the entire freaking world. Hell - if you are breathing, I got issues with it.

Ok, MAYBE, just MAYBE this is a BIT extreme. (The sound of howling laughter that you hear is probably coming from my daughter and Piston)

It's been a tough week with all the schmoozing I've been having to do to pacify the creditors and I'm just NOT the schmoozy type.

I'm so freaking tired of hearing about the economic meltdown, and the "issues" regarding it. I'm tired of getting lectured by collections people.

Maybe I should take up a new career path. I wonder if there's much call for professional Hermits out there. I should check Monster.com.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Presidents Day

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to break the chains and shackles of paying retail and go forth and stimulate your economy (I SAID ECONOMY, "Gentlemen"...)with sales on all sortes and types of merchandise...

No bank today - no mail. Boring day stuff. Fortunately if anyone calls me to gripe that they didn't get paid, I will have the LOVERLY excuse that there's no mail today, how the fuck do they know???

Croila - according to the website where I bought this, these are little miniature lime trees that can grow up to 5 to 8 feet tall, and supposedly CAN produce limes. I don't think mine ever will, as it lives in my house (Lime trees are like oranges, they need to stay warm or they die) and probably will never get enough sunlight to make fruits. Also, since the house is so dark, taking it outside for a while is tantamount to a death by sunburn. It is a pretty plant, however, and certainly does well for conversation-starters.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Lime Tree




This is a picture of my lime tree.
It is a very SMALL lime tree.
But it is MY lime tree, and I loves it.

Took the picture to send to Dad who is highly amused that I have a lime tree growing in a (relatively) small hanging pot in my livingroom.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Making Sense of Things - and Zombies

Dreams are annoying me. I had a dream last night that my brother, SPTLM was telling me how much he hates me and why. Ok, I know why he hates me, or at least what he told my Dad is why he hates me, which is a very childish and stupid reason - and quite inappropriate for a Christian, much less a Lutheran Minister...

See, let's get one thing straight here right off - I say what I think, sometimes to the point of passing "blunt" and moving into "painfully blunt". I do try to think before I speak, but sometimes the words just tumble out and I don't realize what I've come up with until well after. It is a fault. I try to correct it. I fail often and spectacularly.

Ok, so the day the kid brother got ministerized (ordained), there was this potluck thing the church ladies put on afterwards and we all went and ate, and there was this guy sitting across from me and he asked if I was "Rev. ___'s sister", ___ being my maiden name. I kind of blinked a bit, hesitated, then laughed and said "Oh, I don't think I'll EVER be able to call him "Rev. ___" - to me he will always be my lil' annoying brother Paul".

And it is true. I certainly don't feel "reverent" when I think of him. In fact, the opposite is usually the case. SPTLM and I weren't close growing up. We were very very different, and still are. For one thing, I am a virulent iconoclast. But I digress.

Turns out the guy sitting across from me was the President of the Synod or some such muckey-muck - and in essence SPTLM's new boss. SPTLM says this reflected poorly on him. Mind you, I got this 2nd hand thru Dad - but I can't see any reason for Dad to lie about it. Mind you also, this occurred like 5 years ago. What happened to "forgive 70 x 7"? and all? Whatever. One of them bible guys once said something about a prophet being unappreciated in his own city - and that's really the truth with this. Perhaps SPTLM is the greatest Lutheran Minister since old Marty the Church Door vandal himself - it is always possible. Unfortunately, he will ALWAYS be my kid brother, and I remember enough of our childhood to know that his halo isn't all that shiney.

(nor is mine - not by a LONG shot.)

However - I promised Zombies - and Zombies we shall have!

My very good friend Mr. Farty wrote this wonderful post all about some book about Jane Austin and Zombies and suggesting other titles that would benefit from Zombies, including but not limited to Of Mice And Zombies, Tarzan of the Zombies, Snow White and the Seven Zombies, Gone With the Zombies, and The Zombies of Wrath.

Many of his lovely commenters added their contributions, mine being:

Zombies Progress
The Scarlet Zombie
A Christmas Zombie
Zombies for Algernon
I'm OK,you're a zombie
All the Zombie's Men
The Zombie Principle
How to Win Zombies and Influence People
Murder on the Zombie Express

The thing is - this is FUN! And I keep thinking of more all the time. So if you feel creative - have at it in the comments. The world needs more braaaains.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Darth Predicts - and McCain Whines

Ok, this just in - Darth Cheney says he expects another Terrahist attack very soon.

Memo to Darth:

In the ever-so-appropro words of the fine Senator from California, "Elections Have Consequences". Eat shit and die. We don't need you, we don't want you, we don't care what you think, and despite your ill-founded self-importance, you have become irrelevant. We're tired of your "Terrah Threat" color code, your cocky "so?" attitude and your brazen disregard for the Constitution of the United States. Die in a fire. Go to hell. Or as Charlie Manson would say - "Cease to Exist".

Sincerely
Sewmouse.


John McCain is whining because "This isn't a stimulus package, it's a SPENDING package". This from a man who gave us such memorable quotes as:

"The fundamentals of the economy are strong."
"By fundamentals, I meant the American workers."
"I don’t know much about economics. Did I say that? I didn’t say that."

Memo to Senator McCain:

Dear John:

And I mean that EXACTLY the way it sounds.

You are a LOSER. You LOST. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSer!!
Why did you Lose?
Because you are an idiot that thinks that they can keep pumping the same sunshine up the American People's butts and scare-tactic us into continuing to enrich your overly wealthy friends and lobbyists. I refer you to my Economics 101 diatribe from last month, written at a level even a 3rd grader could understand. Maybe you could get President Obama to read it and explain it to you.

LOSER

Please don't call - don't write - don't contact us in any way - you're a LOSER and we want to break off this "relationship". Now. Actually, WEEKS ago. Please go away. You're ugly and your wife dresses you funny.

Buh-bye.
SINCERELY
Sewmouse.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Collection Calls

I make 'em - I take 'em. Fact of life for us accountant types.

Making them is hard. Asking people for money without going all "Guido**" on them is an art form, and I'm just a scribbler at best at it. It's the non-Guido** bit that is frustrating. Keep the customer, but get the cash. I can't be rude, crude, abrasive. I have to be sweetie-nice - as I push people to give me money. Well, not me personally - but me the Accountant for my Most Excellent Employer.

I used to be scared to do them, but now I'm ok at it. Sometimes I'm too mean and I get in trouble, most times I'm not mean enough and I get in trouble. Trouble R Me.

Anyhow - getting the calls is something else. With the current State of the Economy and all the layoffs and stuff, people are getting both more frightened AND more understanding. This makes VERY little sense to me, but... *shrug*

A few pointers:

1) If I tell you I will run a check this week - you really do NOT have to call me every day for the rest of the week. You're wearing out your welcome.

2) If I tell you I can't run your check this week, but will try for next week, whining, crying poor or just generally keeping me on the phone and away from my other chores is NOT going to change my answer.

3) Lecturing me about your payment terms is ALWAYS counterproductive, Snookiedimples.

4) If YOU go all Guido** on me, please understand that I can, I will, and I certainly HAVE already caused several former vendors to lose our business. The guy in purchasing and I get along pretty well, and he doesn't like being beat up on either, so he listens to me.

5) If I tell you the answer is "no", calling my boss is not going to change that - I already checked with him before I told you "no". Eat it.

The understanding ones make it a LOT less stressful for me.

**(No offense intended to any actual persons named Guido anywhere in the world. I swear. Pinky swear. Please don't hurt me.)

(Piston - you are NOT Guido...)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Picking Your Battles

Been running about reading blog entries about various and sundry items regarding the new Administration in Washington, D.C.

I'd thought about this during the run-up to the inauguration. I'm finally getting around to mentioning it, because it seems that liberal folks have really been losing focus since 11/4/08.

Prior to 11/4, we had one goal - one purpose that united us - one reason for putting our best efforts forward. Getting Rid of Bush/Cheney and their Republican Regime. Period. I might not have agreed with every single thing that was said/done - but I was willing to put some things aside in order to achieve the prime goal.

And - YES, WE DID!!! The politics of Warhawk and Stupid are off the table for at least 3 1/2 years.

But then something happened. We splintered. We began to nit-pick and kvetch about things that aren't really the be-all-end-all that some would have us believe.

The first time I thought "Pick your battles" was when some of the GLBT folks got all up in arms about the guy who was going to give the "Invocation" at the inauguration. The guy got to speak for less than 5 minutes. It was a "prayer", not a sermon, and had those GLBT folks just said "I'm disappointed, but it is HIS party and less important to me than marriage rights and adoption rights", and refused to make a big deal out of it - NOBODY would have listened to him. Pick your battles. You're not going to win this one, and it's not important in the grand scheme of things.

President Obama has been on the job for a week now. SEVEN DAYS. During that time he and his team have already done rather a lot toward reversing the egregious errors of the prior administration. They haven't done everything - but they have been picking their battles, and tackling the hardest ones, the ones that will affect the largest proportion of the country - first.

Today I read an editorial by someone who was very upset that the "Economic Stimulus" package was not going to include money for contraception for poor families. While I agree that this is an important issue, I don't think the Democrats need to be villified if they choose to pull out (pun intended) this part of the package if it will get the rest of the package approved. It's been ONE WEEK, people. Surely you could let them tack the contraception onto another bill NEXT week maybe? PICK YOUR BATTLES.

I have too many books

No I don't. I just have my own personal library - of several 100 books. A friend of one of my ex-roommates had come to visit and asked him "How many of them has she read?"

His answer was correct - "All of them, some of them multiple times."

I'm a word junkie. I love to read; I'm not quite so fond of writing, but I enjoy it. I absolutely ADORE new vocabulary.

One of the downsides of this addiction is that I've now got so many books that I can't remember all of them. Walk into a bookshop and see something "interesting" by a favorite author and not sure if it is on my shelf or not. Aggravating.

So I have begun to take stock - I'm starting a "Card Catalog" spreadsheet. Author, title, soft or hardcover, location in the house (I have 5 bookshelves) and genre. So far I've listed over 100 books and have only just scratched the surface, so to speak. This is going to be a long haul. In the end, however, I'll be able to shop for books with confidence, because I'll know what I already have and what is new fodder for my library.

Mom used to jump my case about having too many books. Why didn't I get rid of some of them, she'd ask.

Simple. I can't get rid of ANY of them because invariably when I've taken a batch of books to the used book store, within a week I'm awake and insomniac at 2:00 a.m. and remembering 1/3 of a book plot and need to be able to read THAT book to get back to sleep. I am not crazy.

So I have a question from anyone who may read this - do you know of any good (cheap) software programs that handle this database function specifically for home/personal libraries/book collections?

Inquiring mice want to know.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Mice?????

The neighbor guy came over last night and asked if I have mouse problems in the condo.

EEK

I looked very carefully this morning, did not see any mouse "by-products", so I think I'm probably ok. I suspect that they got into his house from the garage. He has direct access from his house to his garage. Not to mention my two semi-incontinent old-lady cats. I don't think I've got a problem.

At least I HOPE not.

Ok, it's been the first 3 days (short work-week) for President Obama.

He did not walk on water.
He did not leap any tall buildings in a single bound.

However

He signed an order to close Gitmo and other "Black Sites" within a year.
My grade? I'd like to see this happen faster. A-

He asked a judge to put the Gitmo military tribunals on hold pending review.
My grade? Since he went the LEGAL route and went through a judge instead of UNILATERALLY "decidering" ... A+

He put a freeze on White House salaries for employees making over $100,000/year.
My grade? A+

He reversed Shrub43's misbegotten policy of secrecy and erring on the side of noninformation and trying to find ways to DENY transparency to the public.
My grade? A+

Not bad for starters.

My car is ok. Had to have a couple of belts replaced, but it's running like a champ again. Not bad - $125 for the 2 belts, and according to my mechanic, the old ones were original equipment (They still said "Mopar" on them) - 9 years on belts is rather amazing. For a car company that doesn't get all that high of ratings, this Chrysler is one of the best cars I've ever owned.

(Stock photo - mine is dark blue, not purple)