Friday, January 30, 2009

Collection Calls

I make 'em - I take 'em. Fact of life for us accountant types.

Making them is hard. Asking people for money without going all "Guido**" on them is an art form, and I'm just a scribbler at best at it. It's the non-Guido** bit that is frustrating. Keep the customer, but get the cash. I can't be rude, crude, abrasive. I have to be sweetie-nice - as I push people to give me money. Well, not me personally - but me the Accountant for my Most Excellent Employer.

I used to be scared to do them, but now I'm ok at it. Sometimes I'm too mean and I get in trouble, most times I'm not mean enough and I get in trouble. Trouble R Me.

Anyhow - getting the calls is something else. With the current State of the Economy and all the layoffs and stuff, people are getting both more frightened AND more understanding. This makes VERY little sense to me, but... *shrug*

A few pointers:

1) If I tell you I will run a check this week - you really do NOT have to call me every day for the rest of the week. You're wearing out your welcome.

2) If I tell you I can't run your check this week, but will try for next week, whining, crying poor or just generally keeping me on the phone and away from my other chores is NOT going to change my answer.

3) Lecturing me about your payment terms is ALWAYS counterproductive, Snookiedimples.

4) If YOU go all Guido** on me, please understand that I can, I will, and I certainly HAVE already caused several former vendors to lose our business. The guy in purchasing and I get along pretty well, and he doesn't like being beat up on either, so he listens to me.

5) If I tell you the answer is "no", calling my boss is not going to change that - I already checked with him before I told you "no". Eat it.

The understanding ones make it a LOT less stressful for me.

**(No offense intended to any actual persons named Guido anywhere in the world. I swear. Pinky swear. Please don't hurt me.)

(Piston - you are NOT Guido...)

4 comments:

Croila said...

Sewmouse ... I'm confused ... who the heck is Guido please?

The Preacherman said...

aw no fair!!! They might love the sound of your voice!!!! Bet I would ;-)

Piston said...

I am whatever I want to be. If that is to be a Guido one day then so it shall be. We all know about hurt.

~p

Catmoves said...

Pay the bill, Sew.
Signed ~
Guido