Friday, May 25, 2007

More Don't Call...

Oh, this guy is priceless. After my first rant (which has garnered praise from several other commenters), this kid goes on to come up with even MORE reasons why I should take his unsolicited telemarketing calls. "What if your grandmother was buying meatloaf and dropped dead?!!" "What if I'm calling with an investment opportunity - and it is GOOGLE's IPO!!!?" "What if your stockbroker quit and the guy who took his place you don't recognize in caller ID?" "What if your bank is going under and I need to tell you to get your money out quick?!!" "Lots of KIDS can do this job, and it's good for them, so answer and LISTEN to them and dont be rude!!"

My Response
You chose your job, you live with it. Just don't EVER call me.

I don't want to talk to you. Ever. Period. End of story.

If my grandmother (who has been dead for over 30 years) is found dead in the supermarket, it will be the 2nd coming of Christ and the press will be all over it, I'll hear it on the news. By the way - you don't "Buy" meatloaf - you make it.

I don't want to hear about your stupid investment scams. I don't care if it IS going to be the "next Google" - you don't know that NOW either. I'll take my chances.

My stockbroker's number is registered with the name of his agency, so THAT is what shows up in my caller-ID. Don't call me. I know you're a scam artist.

Anyone who would call to tell me that an investment was failing and that I better get my funds out right away would be telling me to divest my portfolio based on "insider trading information" which is highly illegal. I will not join you in prison, Snookiedimples - don't call me.

You chose your career - you knew it was possible someone might be rude. You could instead have chosen McDonalds or WalMart for your childish job. I have no sympathy. Don't EVER call me.

This just gets him going further. He just refuses to "get it". He now tells me that LOTS of companies call their customers to "service" them after the sale. Excuse me????? Ahem. If I'm getting "serviced" by a company they better quit that fast, because the only companies that I know that "service" their customers are ones that engage in the "Worlds Oldest Profession" - and I'm NOT a customer, nor am I in the market, TYVM FOAD.

I try again to explain it to him:
If Folgers gave me a call to ask how the coffee was -and I had not previously agreed to taste-test for them for FREE, doing their job for NO MONEY - then I'd be one very, very rude woman to the caller.

Folgers should have a quality control department that handles taste-testing. I'm NOT their FREE CONSULTANT - got that, little boy? I'm a professional and my time both at work and at home is worth a lot of money. You want me to taste test your product - you're going to pay rather substantially.

I'm sorry, but there is not ONE SINGLE instance that you have (or will be able to) come up with that would justify you disturbing MY peace and quiet with your unsolicited telephone crap calls.

Don't call me. Ever.

Not all companies call me for "servicing" after I do business with them.

My local grocery market never calls me.
My local hardware store never calls me.
K-mart has never called me.
I've never gotten a call from Windex, Pepsi, Dave & Busters, Barnes & Noble, Bed Bath & Beyond....

I don't care WHAT your supervisor at work is telling you - telemarketing is a bottom-of-the-gene-pool kind of job and NOBODY wants your call. NOBODY. EVER.

Now, you asked why YOU, the corporation, should have to accept my calls. That is what I referred to when saying that's a risk you have to take as a business owner.

If you want my business - if you want MY money, then you have to accept my phone calls (on those rare occasions I call). Most often I do not conduct business over the phone. When I was looking to buy my house, I just walked into my real-estate agent's office. He had a sign up advertising his agency.

My broker had an ad in the newspaper advertising his services and asking for phone calls - an INVITATION to call him.

You have no invitation to call me. Don't EVER call me.

605 days

OH!! and PS: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN III is in theaters today!!!!!!


BBC said...

I don't have caller ID, but I do have an answering machine. Very seldom will I pick up the phone unless someone I know starts speaking to it.

I don't much like phones anyway, I have a phone line to get on the internet.

Go ahead try it, call me, you will get a busy signal or an answering machine. Screw phones most of the time.


Peacechick Mary said...

I don't answer and if by some chance I do speak to a telemarketer, I say, no thank you before they can finish their spiel and hang up. That's that.


Keep em on the line with dumb questions. I had one telemarketer on the line for over half an hour asking him what the weather was like in Bombay n stuff. I think he'd lost the plot on 10 minutes.

Anonymous said...

You could always ask to be paid. Start with, "After I find that your company has deposited $5.00 into my Paypal account, I will listen to your solicitation of no more than 120 seconds in duration."

Though, I have to admit that, once or twice, Four Dinners solution is good too.

Sewmouse said...

I'm tending more toward TFWY's whistle. I may have to stop at Play-it-Again Sports next weekend...