Monday, June 09, 2008

Open Letter to Mickey D

Dear McDonalds:

In what I can only assume is a knee-jerk response trying to pre-empt some kind of market takeover by a possible Chik-Fil-A incursion into the Yankee portion of these United States, I have noted your new "southern" menu items. While the breakfast chicken item is not bad, and the lunch/dinner item does not appear to be either, I am horrified by the introduction to your menu of "Sweetened Iced Tea".

Gentlemen and Ladies - I have spent considerable time driving between the north and south, many times crossing the dread Mason-Dixon line and having to remember to ask for UNSWEETENED iced tea once south of said line. It pains me to no end to admit that the last time I drove to Florida, I was forced to discard my beverage purchased at a Kentucky McDonalds, as I had forgotten the cardinal rule and only ordered "Iced Tea" - without the qualifier.

I am quite certain, having actually SEEN the phenomenon before, that our fine Southern neighbors are fully capable of adding sweetening to their tea and stirring same. It galls me that here, in my own neighborhood - the land where I grew up - the state of my birth and the home of this "damn yankee" for over 50 years - one of my usual stops has now become "Southernized" and requires me to stipulate at a MCDONALDS - a corporation based in Oak Brook, Illinois - that my tea should be pure and unadulterated by ghastly sweeteners.

Please remove this travesty from our menus, and return to the correct manner of serving tea beverages. Let us not undo all the good of the defeat of Robt. E. Lee by allowing the South to rise again and inflict this horror upon the good People of the North.**

224 days

**My darlings south of the M/D line... please don't take offense, I love you all dearly. I just hate your tea!!!


The Future Was Yesterday said...

"I am horrified by the introduction to your menu of "Sweetened Iced Tea"."
LOL!! You too? I'm a transplanted Yankee who has fell in love with sweetened tea, IF......I make it. My definition of sweet tea is to melt just enough sugar in water to offset that bitter "tea" taste, stir it a couple minutes while boiling, then add tea bags and have patience. The ST available in nearly all dining places, is really tea flavored sugar. But the South also does the same thing to BBQ when they make it out of pork.
When I first got here, I got a whiff of that delicious fresh pork on the spit, and Ordered a BBQ sandwich on the spot. The same spot I spit my first bite out on the ground! It was BBQ flavored sugar. I think they have a bit of a sweet tooth down here.:)

Croila said...

Well I'm no damned Yankee, I'm a damned Scot, and the thought of sugar in tea disgusts me! But then again, IMHO there's something dastardly wrong about ICED tea anyway. Jeeze, what is it with you Americans? Don't you know tea should be hot, strong, and have a good splash of milk and nothing else in it?! ;-)