Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Drugged and Lovin' It

If only drugs were side-effect and addiction free. But DRUGS ARE BAD, MKAYYY?


Many years ago, when Dinosaurs roamed the earth, there were no Ipods and nobody had yet heard of Michael Jordan, I had to have my gallbladder removed. This was my first operation (I've had a few since) and this was back in the day where... well... let us just say that the scar runs diagonally across from just under my right tit to almost my waist on the side. With a row of dots on either side of it from the "staples" to keep it shut.

The coolest part of this (other than having a silly roommate with an appendectomy who delighted in playing the "make your roommate laugh and make their stitches hurt" game) was the morphine. Morphine is nice. You get a slap in the ass - it hurts for like 20 seconds... and then... NOTHING hurts. Nothing at all. You aren't high, you aren't loopy or dizzy - but NOTHING HURTS - not even that little crick in the neck that EVERYBODY has that hurts all the time just a bit - nothing at all hurts. It is like... heaven.

But it is addictive and can kill you in quantity and DRUGS ARE BAD, MKAYYYY??

Anyhow - if there were no negative effects to drugs - morphine .. mmmmmm. I also now have a 2ndary drug that I like very much. Prednisone. My back went out and the Dr. diagnosed a slightly herniated disc and prescribed a week's worth of prednisone. Not as dramatic as morphine, to be certain, but...

This morning I was galumphing up the stairs to grab my cell before racing out the door to work and I realized... my knees didn't hurt. They didn't click, they didn't wobble - they just did what knees are supposed to do - haul my fat white ass up the stairs!

SO! Morphine and prednisone - nice drugs. DANGEROUSLY nice drugs. ONLY USE WITH PHYSICIAN APPROVAL, PRESCRIPTION AND only for limited times. DRUGS ARE BAD, MKAYYYYYY????

223 days


enigma4ever said...

sometimes it is nice to feel nice...enjoy....

Croila said...

Wow, that gallbladder scar sounds pretty impressive! Funny to think they do that by keyhole nowadays and you probably wouldn't even see the scar ...

Morphine though? Ugh, I hate it. After D was born by c-section I was on morphine for about two days and it was HORRIBLE. Maybe it's because I'm a control freak or something, but I loathed the feeling of my brain feeling like soup, the confusion, the lethargy, the general "what the fcuk is going on?" feeling. I just couldn't think straight at all and it was really, really unpleasant. Funny, I like quite like the confused feeling of being a wee bit drunk (!) but at least when you're drunk, you think you're funny, you're on top of the world, you think you can do anything. (Because i'm only ever a happy drunk, thankfully.) Being immobile in a hospital bed high on morphine for me totally sucked. But sewmouse, I'm glad you liked it! heh heh