Monday, August 06, 2007

For Jules


BBC said...

Well, guys like on the left are looking for women in good shape also. Those two pictures are a two way street, just replace the guys with gals.
Just saying. Hugs.. :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. :D

Leandra said...

I disagree, BBC. I wouldn't look twice at either of them if the pictures were all I had. Only extremely superficial people would decide someone is worth getting to know better based strictly on how someone looks. The most important things about anyone are those you can't see and only learn about as you get to know that person.

I would probably be wary of the guy on the left because such people tend to have enormous and entirely undeserved egos. I'd steer clear of the guy on the right not because of his weight, but rather through his lack of personal good grooming and any pride in his appearance. Were he wearing a suit or sports jacket, or something of that nature, I probably would prefer talking to him to the guy with the six-pack abs.

Of course I could be missing out by thinking that way since the buff guy could be an absolute sweetheart. That's not been my personal experience with people but that doesn't mean it's not possible.

What is very sad is that there are a lot of very nice, very sad, and very lonely people out there these days because so many of us are so superficial about what is/is not acceptable in a person, and personality, shared interests, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. often has little if any importance any more. That's one reason I just dropped out. Superficiality gives me a headache.

BBC said...

Leandra, you dropped out because no one is interested in you and you got tired of it beating up your ego. And what do you mean by the other mans grooming habits? His hair isn't shaggy, he likely takes a shower everyday. He might be a damn nice guy, if you like guys with big guts. Just buy him a bigger shirt.

As for the guy on the left, I know lots of guys in good shape, and they don't have blown up egos, they just like to stay in good shape. Show me a man that cares about others and does a lot of volunteer work and I will show you a man that is in shape.

I should know, I work with them all the time. Just saying. :-)

Leandra said...

Actually you're wrong. Then again, that's ok since you know what they say about assuming things about people. I dropped out for precisely the reason I said. I met lots of guys and found that the turmoil of dealing with a relationship was not worth what I got out of it. That is a personal problem that stems from over a decade of personal and psychological abuse at the hands of my ex. There were many paths I could have chosen. I chose the one I did intentionally and to be honest I don't regret it a bit.

I am so content with my choices that if someone were to show up with hearts and flowers I would run so hard, so fast, and so far I might never find my way back. My life is comfortable and I'm no longer obsessed with negatives. That's a big achievement.

My friends are fond of telling me that I wouldn't see or recognize interest from a guy now if he walked but and left toothmarks on my butt. I admit I do tend to miss what is right in front of my face sometimes.

I was giving my personal take on things. I was careful to say that not all guys who are in good shape have overblown egos. I know a few who don't. I also know enough who do have the ego problem and prefer to date trophies rather than substance. That's a sad commentary actually. Both for the guy and for the women involved. I much prefer it when people work on both sides of their being as opposed to only one.

I find the guy on the right sloppy looking. That, for me personally, is a turn off. I don't mean a guy has to always wear a suit, but his clothes should fit, be clean, etc. Can't tell if what that guy is wearing is clean or not, but I can see that neither his pants nor his shirt fit.

I also agree with you that any man who cares about others and does a lot of volunteer work are special people. I disagree that every one of them or even most of them are "in shape" unless you mean that metaphorically as opposed to literally. I know a lot of volunteers and they come in every size and shape imaginable. My favorite one at the moment is a female lawyer. She gives tons of hours every week to batter women. She must weigh 350-400 pounds. So much for your theory on that.

At any rate, this posting wasn't a swipe at you, and I don't quite understand why you felt you had to take it personal with that cheap shot at me. Then again, I'm not complaining since I prefer that people self-identify their particular hangups so that I don't waste time discovering them the hard way.