Thursday, October 12, 2006

Excedrine Headache #10001191054265625763561

The Shoe Store Menace

I hate buying shoes. I like having new shoes, I just hate buying them. I hate the stores, I hate the styles, I hate the hassle, and I really, really hate the clerks.

So I go into Payless today at lunch. I don't NEED new shoes yet, but it's just a matter of time. So I was in the mood, what with having gotten a pedicure last nite and feeling all happy and pink-toe-nail silly, and I thought it a good time to try for some new footwear.

So I go into Payless... a store I've always been thankfully ignored in previously... and there's this looks-like-all-of-17 sales clerk there who BOUNCES up and asks me what shoe size I'm looking for, she wants to show me where they are.

Excuse me. You have big fucking numbers with the shoe sizes hanging from the shelves. I'm not illiterate, you bouncy little retail git.

No, I wasn't THAT blunt. I just said "Thanks, but I think I can find it." To which she informed me "OK, well, I'll let you have a LITTLE time to look around, and then I'll come and tell you about our promotion!!!" Yes, you could hear the fucking exclamation points. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I AM FIFTY FUCKING YEARS OLD. I've been buying my own shoes for over THIRTY YEARS. I'm an ACCOUNTANT. I do NOT need some rah-rah CHEERLEADER RETAIL SALES LOSER GIT to explain the oh-so-difficult concept of "Buy one pair, get the 2nd pair of equal or lesser value at half off".

I got so pissed off I just walked out. No new shoes today. Besides, if I refused to listen to her perky, bouncy little explanation, she might could have hurt me with a Brannock Device.

I am seriously considering seeing if there is a website for a corporate office for Payless Shoes and having a bit of a chat with their Customer Service folks.

Yes, I am mean.


pissed off patricia said...

I think you and I would get along great.

I would probably have said, thank you for your offer of help but I Don't need any so please just leave me alone. I know I would say that to a sales person because I have.

Anonymous said...

You're not mean. I hate her from here.

Sewmouse said...

I'm taking BOTH of you with me next time I go shoe shopping.

One of you can hold her down, and the other 2 of us can tie her up and gag her and leave her at the cash register until we are ready to check out!!

pissed off patricia said...

Okeedokee, ready when you guys are :)

betmo said...

my friend always emails corporate america with her ire. she somehow fanagles her email so that it sends the same email like 30 or 40 times so that someone is sure to notice. i'll put her on the alert for payless :)

Sewmouse said...

Thanks, Betmo!

Croila said...

"you bouncy little retail git" - ohhhhhh, that is the best ever insult! I LOVE it! I can't bear shop assistants like that. I mean, they're maybe just doing their job, but sometimes feels like you're not in a shop, you're in a pool of pirranha fish. I usually tell them I'm only looking as I have to wait till payday to buy, and they usually slope off then in disappointment.

Can I come in on the tie-her-up-and-gag-her gig??

Sewmouse said...

Ahh, a shoe-shopping extravaganza of ornery internet-women-friends.

I love it!!

*grin* Hop on board, Croila!!