Thursday, January 17, 2008

Measuring Contests

Most women have known since they were teenage girls that most of what (most)Men do is really nothing more than a glorified penis-measuring-contest.

My car is faster/larger/fancier/more phallic-looking than yours...

My house is bigger/in a better neighborhood/has a better shed than yours...

My job pays more/is more prestigious/gets me more girls than yours...

Like Capt. Jack Sparrow and Capt. Barbossa in PotC III comparing the size of their spyglasses - it seems that everything guys do is a big contest to see who is bigger/better/shinier... in essence, who has the bigger peen.

I suppose this is a throwback to the stone ages when well-hung would be more evident due to somewhat less well-tailored apparel (swing that loincloth, Og!!)

What I find horrible is that they've taken to extending (pun intended) to religion. "My God is better than YOUR God" has been going on since those same almost-prehistoric times, this isn't something new. IIRC, it was either Elijah or Elisha who had a "Burn the Sacrifice" contest between "Baal" and the god of the Israelites.

This is all well and good - have fun, burn cattle - but when it becomes so serious that folks are willing to murder other folks simply because they won't admit that their God has a bigger peen... well...

And they've all done it! You got your Jews in the Old Testament running roughshod through their "promised land" killing all the folks because their G_D is mightier than the godless heathen gentiles...

Then you have your Romans, doing the Crucifiction and lion-wrestling thang to wipe out those pesky new-age Xtians...

So of course, in time, the Xtians turn around and go postal on the godless heathen Native Americans - and harmless lil' pagans - and anyone the Spanish Inquisition just doesn't happen to like....

So now why are we surprised that the Moslems want to get in on the act, screaming " Allahu Akbar " and then whacking off people's heads that they don't like?

I can tell you one thing....

Senator Obama has a larger peen than Senator Clinton.
*smirk*

368 days

5 comments:

BBC said...

I'm pretty sure that my penis is just average size, just friendly with the right woman is all.

My pickup isn't macho but it gets decent mileage for a pickup.

My home isn't anything most women would like but I'm okay with that, it's free and clear.

I'll bet that Senator Clinton has a bigger peen than Senator Obama has. It's just that on females the peen is inverted.

I'm trying to recall if I emailed you that sound file about bullshit in politics, it is so funny, and spot on.

BBC said...

Ah, I forgot to say that my God is a dumb shit, but at least I can live with that.

FOUR DINNERS said...

Size only matters when it's freezing cold. If you've a little one it turns into a clitoris....;-)

....behave Dinners...

BBC said...

Four Dinners is different. But for some strange reason I like him.

John Good said...

Sew - Perhaps we should give these two gents some privacy. . . ;)