Ok, I've got this issue, and it's bugging me.
30 years ago or so, I met a woman at work who just "clicked" with me on all sorts of levels. She was smart and funny and shared a lot of my same interests. We worked in the same department, about 10 ft. from one another for many months, doing the same kind of work and became very close friends. (No, this is not some "self-outting") She and I were like sisters. We went to the same (at the time) denomination church, both were fairly newlyweds, and I was driven to become friends with her.
Over time, we both had children, and she asked me to be the godmother to her oldest - my godson "R".
During my divorce, she and her Husband graciously and unselfishly gave me and Amanda sanctuary until I could get my act together enough to hire a lawyer, pack my stuff and leave the state. I can never, EVER, repay that, even though I've spent a lot of time trying to "pay it forward" with others.
During her time of crisis, I said and did a few things that at the time seemed to be of some assistance to her. Certainly not to the extreme that she and her hubby had been to me, but it SEEMED to be helpful at the time.
Unfortunately, "J" and I drifted apart ideologically - especially as regards those two Verboten topics - Religion and Politics. J became a rabid follower of Rush Limbaugh and virulently anti-feminist, anti-choice, anti-gay and anti-liberal. I, on the other hand, drifted more to the so-called "liberal" side, feeling that people should have the ability to make their OWN bad choices, to get assistance where needed, and that a woman NEEDS a man in much the same way as a fish NEEDS a riding lawnmower - and finally made the decision that Christianity as currently and historically practiced is not something that I espouse.
In spite of all this, I still cared very deeply for J and her family, and tried to tread as lightly as possible over the sensitive topics/areas. I never once indicated to her children that I had even the slightest variance from straight-line LCMS doctrine, and quietly refrained from argument with her on political issues.
About 4 or 5 years ago, this all came to a head. J laid into me with both barrels, reading me chapter & verse from the Gospel according to Limbaugh, calling me a Femnazi, accusing me of all sorts of vile things - and saying that I devalued her because I did not share her religious or political beliefs. The icing on the cake was when I told her flat out what I think about George Walker Bush. She countered that he is a GOOD, HONEST, CHRISTIAN man and that I was a horrible human being for not agreeing.
With a heavy heart, I severed the relationship. I told her that I would not take the abuse any longer, that I was quite tired of pussyfooting around her prejudices and bigotry, and that obviously we had grown in such opposite directions that it was better we just ended all contact.
J continued to send Xmas gifts for a while - then she just sent the semi-mandatory "Gosh, Aren't We Just Living Lives That Are Too Perfect" Xmas letters. Until last week.
Last week I got a very beautiful engraved graduation announcement for my godson's graduation. I certainly am NOT going to attend, as it would mean flying to Denver and staying in a hotel and ... well... confronting J.
Part of me says to just let it lie... let it go... forget it.
Part of me says to just send a nice Hallmark card and forget it.
Part of me says to just send a nice Hallmark card with a check and forget it.