MICROSOFT SUCKS TEPID DONKEY BALLS

So I am trying to reinstall a program - and I can't do it because Microsoft in it's "infinite wisdom" (Translation:  FUCKING STUPIDITY) "temporarily suspended" my account for allegedly sending e-mail spam.  (never happened)

Problem is - they will ONLY unlock it by sending a TEXT MESSAGE to a cell phone - which I am currently without.

HEY BILL GATES - your OUTSOURCED "customer service" reps are liars and jerks - and unable to use any form of common sense. 

DO NOT buy a car at Zeigler Chevrolet in Schaumburg. They are liars, they are con artists and they are thieves. Gave them a check to hold a car. They called 2 days later and told me they couldn't hold it any more. I asked for my check - got a bunch of used-car-salesman-gobbledygook from "Amber". Went there tonight and they "can't give your check back, we will have to write you a check" - even though I was PROMISED by Amber and Omar that they would not cash the check until I got the check from the Abortion Failure's insurance. Then Zeigler tried repeatedly to sell me something else - I must look like I just fell off the turnip truck

The Flag. The Anthem. The Constitution

I do NOT pledge my allegiance to a flag.
Not the flag of the United States of America, nor any other.
I have no intention of pledging my allegiance to a scrap of cloth - a pathetic patchwork.

The flag is a symbol.
It is not the "thing".
If you piss on a flag - it does not start raining in Tuscon or Phoenix.
If you burn a flag, it doesn't set the water to boiling in Prudhoe Bay, or Anchorage.

I do not feel the need to stand and put my hand on my chest because someone starts playing "To Anacreon In Heaven" -- an old English drinking song.

If anyone joined the military because they wanted to protect a chunk of cloth, or a drinking song, then they joined for the wrong reasons, IMNSHO.  In the oath the military takes - NOWHERE is there mention of a "flag" or an "anthem" - but there sure as hell is a mention of the Constitution of the United States:

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed ...

And that is as it should be!  The Constitution is the document that makes the United States a nation.  It spells out how we run our government, which parts of the government are responsible for which actions.  It has been "amended" twenty seven times.  It is the heart and soul of our Republic.  I will pledge my allegiance to the Constitution - flawed as it is - because IT, and ONLY IT, is worth fighting for.

Cox Communications - WHAT A BUNCH OF DICKS

Unfortunately, the company I work for is forced to do business with Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) at our Arkansas location.  I say unfortunately, because Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) is completely incompetent and unable to even run their own website.

A month or so ago, Citibank in its Infinite Wisdom decided to cancel our company credit card and reissue another one with a different number because the original card had maybe possibly been "compromised".  We did not ask them to do this.  We found no fraudulent charges, nor any indication that the card was being used in a manner we were not happy with - but Citibank apparently decided differently.

I went to work calling all our vendors who bill us on a monthly basis and charge the credit card automatically.  I called Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) and tried to change the information.  I got told I had to do it online.  I tried to do it online, but their website would not take my login information.

I called "Customer Support" ("Hi, my name is Dick, and I can help you" - except they never can) and got the runaround shuffle - finally talked to someone who said she would change the information for me.  Gave her the new card info.

A week ago I got a letter in the mail informing us that our payment had "bounced" because the card we had was denied, and that they were now going to charge us $30.00 for a "returned check fee".  If we tried to pay over the phone, we would incur an ADDITIONAL $10.00 fee for the privilege.

WHAT

A

BUNCH

OF

DICKS

So I called again.  I fought with the Stepford Customer Service Rep and got them to get rid of the $30 charge.  They wouldn't back down, however, on the $10 fee to pay over the phone.  Went to login online to pay - still can't get to their site.  

Called their Tech Support line, they don't have us set up online anymore.  DICKS

So we re-registered, I paid the bill online with the new card, and the Tech Support guy helped get the credit card information updated and changed.

Today I got an e-mail.  It said that they had cancelled our auto-bill-pay because "The envelope expired"

I called to find out WTF they meant by that.  Got put on hold because "Hi, my name is Dick, and I can help you" couldn't help me and needed to transfer me to the Arkansas office,  He put me on hold.  He never came back.  10 minutes later, I hung up and called Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) again.

This time I got a female dick.  She too wanted to transfer me to Arkansas.  I told her about the 10 minute waste of time, and she assured me that she could help me get past that.  By this time I've rolled my eyes so many times I'm getting myself dizzy.

Apparently there actually are a few Dicks down in Arkansas, and one of them talked to me.  Told me that I had been supposed to "verify the autopay set-up".  Told me they had called me.  I beg to differ.  Nobody called.  The dicks called the Arkansas location, which is not a location that would have the information they would need, so the voice mail that they left was deleted by the solo employee down there.  

The story goes on.  The ridiculousness of the so-called "Customer Service" dicks knows no bounds.

And then they said it would take 1 or 2 "billing cycles" for the change to take effect.  Cox Communications (A Bunch of Dicks©) - YOU SUCK

Someone Else Wrote This - but I think it is important to spread.

 Marriage is simply a contract, recognized by the State, which defines how the parties to the contract will share property, financial and personal obligations, and so forth. In exchange, they are given certain legal rights (e.g. inheritance, power of attorney, visitation in hospitals, and so forth). It's a civil contract, which means it is a civil right.

This is not to be confused with a religious ceremony recognized by your church -- e.g. a Wedding, "holy matrimony" -- which generally has no legal validity with the state.

You can be married (Justice of the Peace) without a church wedding. As long as you registered a Marriage License, the state will recognize your marriage, but your church might not. The state is free to say who can be married -- but it is not free to dictate the beliefs of your church (or anyone else's), including who is allowed to have a wedding ceremony in your church.

And you can have a wedding at your church without bothering to register the marriage with the state. (It's called a Marriage License, not a Wedding License.) Your church will recognize your marriage, but the state might not. Your church is free to say who can have a wedding in your church -- but it is not free to dictate who the state will allow to be married, or to tell other churches to recognize the marriage.

They're entirely separate things.

Ode to Fox

We were all set to marry

We'd set the special day

I knew that there was nothing

to get into our way

But then to my great horror

in shock, I screamed "The heck?"

I saw my dear beloved

Was watching that "Glenn Beck"

I've had my share of troubles

I've lived through my hard knocks

but nothing could prepare me

to see him watching "Fox"

We'd had genetic testing

I didn't doubt his sanity

Until I saw my boyfriend

tuned in to "Fox" and "Hannity"

He said that Bill O'Reilly

Was balanced, fair and true

I raised my middle finger.

I told my love "Fuck You"

FUCK COMCAST
 I pay a lot every month for their internet "Service" - and expect to get the advertised "Blazing Fast" 24/7 365 High-Speed Internet Service.

 For the last 10 days I've had maybe a total of 20 min. of EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW internet connectivity. Web pages taking 1-2 minutes to load. "Customer Service" having been outsourced to Bangaladesh or Pakistan or "Fuckyoucustomerstan", where "Suzie" and "Chris" and "Jessie" and "David" and ... yes.... "RINGO" are just Ever so happy to help... thankyouverymuch

Lie, after Lie after LIE about when they will fix it. Sat home all day Sunday waiting for their technician - who was never actually SCHEDULED - despite "Chris" and "Suzie" claiming that I'd get calls to confirm and that a tech would be by between "3 and 5 pm"

 FUCK YOU, COMCAST

 I'll be looking for a different internet provider shortly. Anyone got any recommendations?

CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE!!!!!!!

FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!  DANCE IN THE STREETS!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!  ONE DOWN, SEVERAL MORE TO GO!!!  DANCE IN THE STREETS!!!!!

CELEBRATE!!!!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!  DANCE IN THE STREETS, SCREAM "YAHOOO!!!!" OUT YOUR CAR WINDOWS!!!

THANK GOD FOR DEAD PHELPS AND ROPERS!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!

FRED PHELPS IS ROTTING IN HELL!!!  CELEBRATE!!!   HOPEFULLY HE'S BEING BUGGERED BY DEAMONS AS I TYPE!!!
FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!
GOD HATES WESTBORO BAPTISTS!!!!
THANK GOD FOR DEAD PHELPS AND ROPERS!

Got a bit excited there... LOL

Bagger Baiting

I've come up with a new game. It's really easy to play, and works best on social media - although newsblogs like Huffington Post or Daily Kos work well too.

The name of the game is "Bagger Baiting". The point of the game is to troll "Tea Party" baggers into mouth-frothing idiocy. While many of them start off in this state - it is seriously fun to poke and prod their fellowbaggers along to join them.

There are a few rules:

1) No cussing. Cussing requires use of the "Swear Jar" - proceeds go to me.
2) You must present totally TRUTHFUL, legitimate arguments, and be prepared to slap down a link to a neutral news site to back yourself up.
3) As soon as one of them plays the "n" word card(nazi), you must be prepared to immediately invoke Godwin's Law.
4) Under no circumstances should you ever allow yourself to be provoked to breaking Godwin's Law.
5) Remember, Free Republic, Foxnews, and other bagger sites are NOT legitimate links, and such needs to be emphasized.
6) The use of foul language, name-calling or causing the invocation of Godwin's Law automatically constitutes a "win" for you. Take a shot - or chug a beer - or just LYFWAO.

A lot of these baggers are actually corporate shills, spewing TeapubliChristofascistEvangeliban talking points for the glorious recompense of $0.05 per post. They're easy targets, as they really don't have much more than their original talking-point as ammuntion, so they will fall for the Godwin gambit - or be forced to contribute to YOUR swear jar.

Enjoy.

Why I prefer the "dark side"

It is really a sad thing - that forever we've as a species considered darkness to be equivalent with evil and/or danger.  I understand where some of the prejudice comes from, those ancient ancestors of ours huddling around a fire, afraid of the carnivores they could not see.  But really....

When we take it to the point where a person with dark skin is automatically considered to be a danger, a threat - evil, so to speak, isn't that just pulling the fabric a bit too taut?  Similar to the restriction against boiling a calf in it's mother's milk being taken to the point of making tasty, tasty cheeseburgers a sin?

Darkness is where we heal, during sleep.  Darkness is cozy.  Darkness is cooler than the harsh, scalding rays of afternoon.  The coolness of darkness can be mitigated by adding another layer of clothing - but you can only take off so much in the heat of the day before you become a "sex offender" in the eyes of the law.

Fetuses gestate in the darkness of the womb.  Gently rocking in a warm, dark place with the comforting beat of the mother's heart... they cry when the light hits their newborn eyes.

In these hot hot hot hot hot summer days, I am always looking forward to sundown, when the temperature plummets and I can curl up with a book and relax - in the comfort of the darkness, away from the noise, and bustle and glare of the light.

Shooty Shooty Bang Bang

I don't like guns. I don't like the noise they make, I don't like what they are manufactured to do, I don't allow them in my home.
However.

I do not believe that we as a country need to BAN all guns. I don't think that everyone should be forced to turn in their guns. In a perfect world there would be no need for guns. This is not a perfect world.

But I do think that we have a problem with the 2nd amendment, and I think that it needs to be ammended.

First off, the biggest problem I see is that everyone and his 3rd cousin twice removed with a clubfoot believes that the 2nd amendment to the Constitution outlines a GOD GIVEN RIGHT to own whatever firearm they desire. That anyone, and everyone, has a RIGHT to have a weapon.

However, just as we all know that an automobile, or a chainsaw, or any other sharp, pointy, heavy, or otherwise dangerous piece of equipment should be kept out of the hands of those who are incompetent to operate them safely (me!!) - but for the damned 2nd ammendment, guns fall into that category as well.

Yes. We need to educate people on the safe use/handling of firearms. In fact, I need to get some education on that myself. Not that I will EVER purchase or otherwise own a firearm, but should I encounter one that I need to move, or transport or take away from a child, I want to know the correct way to do so.

Now, I'm almost 57 years old. In 57 years I have NEVER ONCE needed a gun. Maybe I'm just unbelievably lucky - but I don't think so. I think that a lot of people who think they NEED a gun, are actually people who just WANT a gun - for whatever reason. Maybe they WANT it to shoot at targets. I'm ok with that. Maybe they are farmers/ranchers who WANT it to keep varmints from their crops/livestock. I'm ok with that. Maybe they are sportsmen who WANT to hunt and eat their kills. I'm ok with that. Maybe they WANT it because they live in a very crime-ridden neighborhood with few law enforcement officers and think they need it to protect their homes (don't get me started on stupidity like concealed-carry and stand-your-ground bullshit). I don't like it, but I'm ok with that.

I am NOT ok with those who want to own guns as penis-extenders or penis-replacements (women) - who think owning/carrying a gun makes them badass, macho, sexually attractive. I'm NOT ok with people who think they need a gun in case someone is elected to public office whom they do not like/agree with (or has the wrong-color skin), so they can "water the tree of liberty".

In my mind and opinion, both those kinds of people are just as mentally disturbed as Adam Lanza or James Holmes. I don't WANT an army of George Zimmerman clones shooting up my neighborhood because of their racial prejudices and Rambo-Wannabe-ism.

Now, the NRA and their dupes will parrot bumper-sticker-phrases like "If we criminalize guns, then only criminals will have guns" or "Maybe we should ban all cars", or "Everyone talks about doing something about guns - how about doing something about mental health instead"? Nobody has ever been able to tell me what should be done about mental health, however.

Suggesting limiting gun ownership to those who have passed a qualifiying psych exam turns ordinarily sane people into rabid, mouth-foaming Ted Nugent fans, clinging to their rifles and screaming epithets.

And to that end - I think we need to repeal the 2nd amendment. I think it needs to be REPLACED with something that acknowledges that while there ARE some reasons to own a gun - not everyone is suited for owning one. We don't allow blind people to drive cars. We don't allow people to drive who haven't been trained to do so! We should not allow mentally disturbed people to own guns - or to live in places where guns are accessible. (See Adam Lanza)

Gun ownership needs to be like a driver's license - a PRIVILEGE, not a "Right". Something a responsible gun owner, just like a responsible driver, never needs to worry about having revoked. No, this won't eliminate gun violence. It will not eliminate gun-handling stupidity. BUT... It may make some gun owner be just that TINY bit more careful. It might keep a firearm out of the hands of the next mass-murderer. It might keep some well-intentioned but not-trained person from blowing up their kid because they don't know how to handle a firearm safely.

Ok, Piston... ZW... Billy... Roger... Go ahead and slam me. This is MY opinion - and I'm sure you'll come back with at least one or more of the talking-points I've already mentioned. Just be sure to give YOUR solution, if you're going to slam mine, k?

Little Flaps of Skin

Amazing how humans put such incredible importance on what amounts to just a few, fragile, little flaps of skin.

Virginity.  At least Female virginity.  Male Virginity is entirely different.  But female?  A tiny flap of skin - often ruptured inadvertently through exercise, horseback riding, etc.  A tiny flap of skin that somehow represents a woman's "chastity" or "purity".   I guess we can forget the fact that she might could have been giving blowjobs to the entire NFL lineup and all the sportscasters - as long as that tiny flap of skin is "intact", she's pure as the driven snow - men will blow themselves up for Allah to get to her...

The worth of a woman has for centuries hinged on this tiny flap of skin.  Never mind if she is as stupid as a box of rocks, if she has a face like a peach-stone.  It matters not - if she is a "virgin", her worth is secured.  Of course, there are oodles of men out there who are more than eager to reduce that value - but when one succeeds, it is not the MALE who is blamed for the reduction in her value (as one would expect, since if one damages the goods of some shop-owner, one is expected to make-good on the reduced value) - no - it is the FEMALE who is automatically at fault.

And then there is the foreskin.  A tiny flap of skin on the end of a man's most priceless treasure, that which he worships with all his heart, and all his mind, and all his soul.  That which a vast majority of the population has created their "god" in the image of.  A god, no less, who has decided that removing this tiny flap of skin will prove the devotion of the man who does so to the deity he has created.  Not everyone agrees.  There are even groups now who are trying to forbid the removal of this tiny flap of skin - calling it "mutilation".

Now, there are those who claim that removal of this little flap is done for cosmetic reasons only.  There are those who claim it is religiously based (see above).  There are also those who claim it is for reasons of health and hygiene.  There are debates on the issue.

I've seen both kinds - cut and uncut.  Honestly, I have no preference.  They're all just silly little willies to me, and hardly worth the extreme adoration given said members by their owners.  So much for cosmetics.

The religious thing is between the family and their deity, IMNSHO.  If they really do believe that offering up a little flapoid of skin off the end of their kid's johnson is going to bring him closer to god... well... weird god, is all I can say.

Sorry Guys

I hate having to do this, (even for you, Bill... *grin)  but I've got that annoying 'word verification" thing set to "on" now because 1) I don't need Cialis, 2) I hate spammers and 3) I've got an attitude today.  Deal with it.

Fuck you, Spammers.

I hate spending 15-45 min. a week deleting the fucking spam that keeps getting commented to my ancient post about "Can't catch me 'cuz the rabbit done died".  (I love that song - of course, it is OLD Aerosmith.. *evil grin*)

The sn*w has finally arrived.  It hasn't arrived in quantity here as yet - although I hear Piston's area has gotten seriously hammered.

I got some piccys of Amelia via the Facebook thingy, here is one, because I like it.

Naturally Beautiful - and with a wicked grin!

Libertarian?

Best joke I've heard all week:  (It is, however, still only Tuesday)

"A Libertarian is just a Republican who wants to smoke dope and get laid."

President Obama - what a nice "ring" that has

Ok, it has been almost a week now, and the elections results are, for all intents and purposes, in.

Thank the Goddess, President Obama was re-elected.  He is not the "ONE".  He is no savior, he is not SuperPresident.  He's just a guy.  But he's not Romney/Ryan, and that counts for everything.

The Republican pundits and media and political operatives are falling all over themselves to find the reason for this "surprising" loss.  They've resorted to name calling (pimps, whores, maggots, various racial slurs...), they've all given one or another "reason" - never blaming themselves or their policies, however.

One writer almost got it right, but then veered off the track and went for finger-pointing again instead of follow-thru.  The Republicans need to make their "tent" bigger.  They went seriously out of their way to make it smaller... and smaller... and smaller...  and now they sit there with stupid headlight-struck-deer looks on their faces and try to figure out what happened.

They had the money.  They spent the money.  It didn't work.  It didn't work because the message they sent with that money was a message of hate, and a message of EXclusion.  The Republican party has become the party of Rich, Old, White, MALE Fundamentalist Christian Whackadoodles.  They're so far from being "conservative" as to be laughable.

Here's why you lost, Republicans:

The USA is a secular country.  It is not a "christian" country - and it will never be a "moslem" country or a "mormon" country as long as anyone still alive here and now has breath in their bodies.  The separation of Church and State is sacred to our nation.  Yes, it annoys the christians that they can't force their prayers into public schools.  It annoys the moslems that they cant use their "sharia" to justify actions that we find repulsive HERE, when they're able to do it THERE.

But that's the point.  True, you can't proselytize in schools - but that bends both ways - the moslems and the hindus and the pagans can't either.  (Not that pagans do...)

The churches are not allowed to interfere with state-run programs/places.  And this is good, because at the same time - the STATE is not allowed to interfere with your Religion. 

The USA has had over 2 generations of Women's Sufferage.  We're not going back, boys.  Our grandmothers fought for their right to vote - Our mothers voted - and many of us fought and are still fighting for the right to be judged as EQUAL human beings, not chattel to some penis-wielding testosterone factory.  (See?  We can be condescending and objectifying as well, boys.)

And we aren't going to back down on birth control, reproductive rights or the right to make our own decisions for ourselves.  Your pathetic attempt to return to the dark ages lost you votes.  Lots of votes.  All that "legitimate rape" crap hurt your cause.   Stop thinking of us as "the helpless little ladies" - a lot of us have more brains in our pinky fingers than many of you do in your entire testosterone-poisoned bodies.

Something needs to be done about immigration reform.  Being an asshat to men and women with latino surnames is NOT immigration reform.  It is repulsive.  There are many, many illegal aliens in this country that are NOT latino.  There are also millions of people with latino surnames who are LEGAL CITIZENS of the USA and do not deserve to be treated as criminals because of their names or ability to speak a 2nd language.

If Allen West and Herman Cain are the best examples of black men that you can come up with - then you seriously need to look a little harder.

Mitt Romney was the sanest of the candidates you fielded.  Ron Paul has a few good ideas, but once you rub the surface, he's a nut job.  Santorum doesn't understand the first sentance after "Here's why you lost", above.  Rick Perry has good hair - and nothing of substance underneath it.  Herman Cain doesn't even know how to make PIZZA.  Newt.  What can you say about Newt.  Tossed out of his job as Speaker of the House is what you can say.  And then there's Michelle.....Oh. My. Fucking. Goddess.  I don't even know where to BEGIN to list what is wrong with Michelle Bachmann.  There's just too much material...

But Mitt had fatal flaws.  His mormon upbringing taught him that Black people were unworthy to hold membership in his church, whether they would choose to buy into the majick underwear or not.  That women exist only to serve men.  He was born on third base and to this day thinks he hit a triple.  In the middle of one of the worst financial declines in the history of the USA, Mitt is building a house with a CAR ELEVATOR.  His wife drives "a couple of caddilacs".  He had her dancing pony shipped over to the London Olympics, then proceeded to insult the British hosts of said same olympics.

Sending Paul Ryan to fake a photo-op at a soup kitchen... and getting caught. 

The people know phoney.  People don't want phoney in the white house.

The world has changed, Republicans.
The USA citizens no longer consider women chattel.
The USA citizens are Asian and Black and Brown and Peachy-pink
The USA citizens no longer NEED to hide their sexual preferences in a closet
The USA citizens are tired of waiting to be "trickled" on - and you fat rich old white guys might want to re-read "A Tale of Two Cities", because somewhere, Madame LeFarge is knitting.

Home again, home again

Yes, I am back home again, after a nice road-trip to Denver. I like taking road trips. I bring along a few friends like ZZ-Top and Aerosmith and the Stones, and we all sing and watch the miles go by.  Count the cows.  Count how many times you cross over the Platte River.  (which is looking VERY SAD due to the drought.  More like platte mud flats, to be honest.)

A lot of the time, tho, I keep the CD player off and just listen to the world going by. It relaxes me.  I like seeing a lot of wind-farms too.

This year, the destination was Denver, the reason being twofold - even threefold, sorta - first, foremost and best, I got to hang out with Amelia and her mom and dad for a day and got my fill (for the moment) of baby-holding and cuddles.

She certainly IS a little cuddlebunny,

We went out to dinner at a "Chicago Style" hot-dog place. Amanda pronounced it adequate as a substitute for Portillos. They have a sign-in book for Chicago "Ex-Pats", which she signed. If you're in Denver, it's on Colfax, right - and I do mean RIGHT across teh street from Casa Bonita. Yes, "That" Casa Bonita, for those who have seen the Southpark Episode (or have lived in Denver). I had not seen it, but I've been there several times back in the halcyon days of being married before everything got strange and uncomfortable and we broke it off.   I have since seen the Southpark Episode.  I laughed.

I am told that the food there has deteriorated, and that it's not all that and a box of pop-rocks anymore. This is sad. It was kinda fun, even as an adult, back in the days when I lived in Denver. When dinosaurs roamed the earth.

The second reason was to have lunch with an old friend - the first one I made in Colorado, as the state is not really all that friendly to outsiders. Especially in Colorado Springs, where I first lived after getting married. People who live in the Springs are rather insular. I suspect it has to do with so many tourists and military coming in and messing with their economy and traffic patterns, but it is hell on a newlywed. I would wake up, go out of the house to get the newspaper, look up, see Pike's Peak - and flip that Muthafucka Mountain right off.

Ok, childish, I admit - but it did the fucking mountain no harm, and it was less combative than flipping off the hubby.

The 3rd-ish reason was to go see my tree. Back in the early 80's I planted a tree with my daughter "helping" (as only a 2-1/2 yr old can). I planted a Silver maple - because Denver needs deciduous trees. Aspens don't count, they are stupid. So... here is my tree (and the top of the Little Blue Neon). Almost 30 years old.(The tree, not the Neon. The Neon is 12.) Yay tree. (Yay Neon)

I'm gonna go see the baby!

Very soon, I'm gonna take to the highway and go drive to where my daughter is living (about 1000 miles away) to go meet little Amelia. Of course, MOST of us get happy and excited to meet a new addition to the family, but this means more to me, I think, than to some other people, for a very specific reason.

Amelia is only my 2nd "blood relative" that I've ever known. As I like to tell my doctors, my mother was never pregnant. I share no genetic material with either of my parents. As much as I loved my mother, and utterly adore my Dad, I've never looked like either of them - and forget about SPTLM, there's NO resemblance there. There was always something missing (to me) in life, when I'd hear how someone was "The spit & image of Great Uncle Whoever".

I didn't look like anybody. Nobody else looked like me. I don't have my mom's nose, or my dad's eyes. In a photo of the family, I could just as easily be photobombing the snapshot.

When my daughter was smaller, she looked rather more like her father's side of the family. Same head-shape as her paternal grandfather. Ears like her Dad. She had my haircolor, but his curls. But I knew - I KNEW there were tiny things I noted, and she would someday look "like me" in some way.

Lately, I see photos of her and I can identify a little more of "me" in her pictures. I won't go into detail, she probably wouldn't appreciate it - but that tiny thrill of having someone who looks like me just tickles me every time I notice it. Don't get me wrong - I could not have picked out better parents if I'd had a mug-shot book and CV on them before joining the family. Yes, there are, have been, and always will be, some significant differences, but I love them dearly. They are my parents.

Not that everyone in the family sees it that way. Some thought of us as "those adopted kids", rather than legitimate members of the family.(Yes, I am glaring at YOU, Cousin Laurie S.)

So, "Cousin" Laurie - I'm gonna be going to visit my beautiful granddaughter very soon. And someday, she'll look SOMEHOW like me - even if it is only the shape of her fingernails or the size of her... um... chest. And that will make me happy.

Meanwhile, I fart in your general direction.

Juxtaposition

Monday at around noon-ish, I noticed a FB post that my daughter and her guy were on the way to the hospital to have their baby. I was excited, yet calm, slightly concerned (because childbirth is never guaranteed problem-free), yet also confident that my daughter would do well.

No word, no word, no word... but still, the daughter took 8 1/2 hours to show up, so I was just being impatient, one of my less endearing traits, I fear.

I had some errands to run, so I got home about 7 pm. About 7:30 I discovered that I had no water. I knew I paid the water bill - paid it well before it was due, in fact. I verified this on the internet with my bank-online thingy. Nothing to do now but wait until morning so I could call the water dept. Sent an e-mail to boss that I'd be late.

About 10 pm-ish, I got the call from J, telling me my granddaughter had arrived. Daughter and Granddaughter both doing well. I was so happy, and slightly overwhelmed and "babbly" - no doubt scaring the baby's daddy with what I jerk I was. (And still angry about the water thingy.)

First thing in the AM I called the office (in case he didn't get message), then called the water dept. They sent out a guy faster than asap - I hardly had time to get out of jammies and into real clothes! A leak in the meter room. Not my fault, not the village fault - gotta call association.

By now I'm furious. (I also have a photo of Amelia, which calmed me down) Got the assn on the line and went thru the hoops they make you jump thru to get something done, which aggravates me a lot - but finally got water back about 2pm Tuesday.

Apparently COMCAST XFINITY installers were installing cable to someone else's condo unit and drilled thru the concrete wall and straight into the main water pipe going to my house.

Not bothering to leave a note. Not saying a damn thing. Just shut off my water and ran away.

I hope their nuts rot and fall off.

OTOH, I'm a grandma, I have the most utterly gorgeous granddaughter on the planet, and now that I have water again, I'm happy!

Whatta Week!

Welcome Amelia Leigh

8/6/12 - 9:13 pm - 6 lbs, 9 oz, 19 1/2 inches