Friday, December 07, 2007

Cold Call Cold Shoulder

Salesmen, as every sane person knows, are the lowest known form of life.

Insurance Salesmen are the lowest known form of salesman - thereby making the single-cell paramecium look rather like a galaxy-sized complex organism by comparison.

Hey, salesman? Coming to the door at NOON FIFTEEN - is NOT the way to introduce yourself to a potential new client. You have just managed to do several things...

1) you have pissed off the backup receptionist who

a) Does not want to have to deal with people at the door
b) Has her own work to finish and has reluctantly agreed to put up with answering the phone so the receptionist can eat

2) You are NEVER, EVER, EVER, under ANY circumstances, going to get to see the "Traffic Manager" - because HE'S EATING LUNCH, YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

3) You've committed the lower-level of sexual harassment by mentioning how "cute" the receptionist's nails are. Shut the fuck up and slink off back to the tar pit you oozed out of this morning, buttwipe. She's young enough to be your daughter - PERVERT.

Guess what, assmunch? The receptionist came back to my office and asked how to deal with you. You're lucky she's a nicer person than I am. What I told her, and what she told you are very different things. Same result, but at least she didn't call you what I did, foreskin breath.

So now, you've pissed off the accountant too. Which means that if the traffic manager ever DOES make the collosal mistake of doing business with your company - I'll make sure it takes a looooonnnnnnnggggggggg time for you to get paid.

Die in a fire.

409 days


BBC said...

A little cranky today?

Well, I don't think much of real estate agents myself.

Visionary said...

Replace salesmen with BBC...

BBC said...

Visionary.... Fuck you. *Smiles sweetly*

If I like Sew even though she is cranky and opinionated as she clearly states on her blog, that isn't any of your fucking business.

Why don't you just shove a frozen iron pipe up your ass you moron? At least it will entertain her. :=)

Happy birthday motherfucker...LOL

The Future Was Yesterday said...

I wish you'd say what you really think and feel, instead of tippy toeing around all day!:)


This must be the Sewmouse take on 'Death of a Salesman'.

You get lost for inspiration babe just post any old tosh. Soon as BBC n Visionary get goin' it's crackin' fun around here yer know...

Anonymous said...

LOL!! Sew, you have such a descriptive vocabulary. Foreskin breath! Buttwipe! Die in a fire! Was that salesman aware of how close he came to being skinned alive?

I agree with 4 dinners. It doesn't matter what you write, when BBC and Visionary get going it is so entertaining for the rest of us. Keep up the good work, dear.