Thursday, November 08, 2007

Strange Things I See On The Way To Work...

Pheasant under Grass

When I was a kid, from time to time while riding in the car my Dad would spot a pheasant running thru the fields that surrounded our tiny tiny little village. The place I grew up was quite rural when we moved there, now it's all ghastly creeping suburbia. Being grossly myopic and a bit slow on the uptake (usually riding in the car also meant reading a book) - I almost never spotted them.

Imagine my surprise to see one laying in the median strip in the middle of a busy highway! I couldn't believe it!

I was right. I shouldn't believe it. It wasn't a pheasant. It was a pheasant carcass. Actually, it wasn't even a pheasant carcass. It was a STUFFED pheasant carcass. No, no - not something from the RoadKill Diner. Plush instead of feathers - 3-toed flappers instead of feet... a child's stuffed plushie pheasant. In the median. Of the road. Dead. Killed to death by a car perhaps. The flappers were the giveaway. Before I saw them, I still thought it might be a real pheasant under the grass clippings.

The grand prix

It was a dull shade of Silver - or maybe it just seemed dull because of the overcast sky. All the cars seemed non-shiney today. Came hurtling out of the backfield to a rocking & bouncing stop at the traffic light in the left-turn lane. Rocking so violently that a woman in a car nearby was heard to shout "You need to slow DOWN!!"

That's when I noticed his Chicago Bears-style vanity license plate "DMB41"

Yup. Dumb41 - the Grand Prick. Needs to slow DOWN. *snicker*

The Zebra Car

There is a Zebra Car out on the side of the road at a dealer on Grand Avenue. I want one. They are too farking cute for words. They even have Zap pickup trucks, which look kind of silly - but the little zebra car is too much! Bit pricey, and I don't think I'd use it except to/from work in the summertime, since it can only get up to 25 miles per charge, so I'd not be able to go any further than that - but DAMN it's cute. With gas over $3.10 a gallon again, I bet it would be cheaper than my neon too - even if the neon DOES get over 36 mph highway.

438 days

***Note to Amanda: I'd love to hear from you, but I'm not home as much as before. If you e-mail me your address and phone number (sewmouse (at) gmail (dot) com), I'll give you more contact info. Love you too, Sweetie!***


pissed off patricia said...

When I moved to NY state I saw my first ever pheasant. It was just walking through our yard. My first thought was it must have escaped from the zoo. When I asked someone if that could be a possibility they just looked at me like I was nuts. Having lived in Florida most of my life I just couldn't believe pheasants were wild birds in NY

Anonymous said...

POP - that's so weird to see a pheasant walking down the street in NY. I saw a turkey walking down the street in my neighbourhood one day; waltzing along whistling a tune.

Sew - I looked at that Zebra car. It is very sweet. I would love to have a little car like that one. We see a number of regular coloured little cars around town here. People drive them around to do errands and such but I don't think too many want to go on the freeway. The little zebra would become roadkill just like the pheasant.


As you don't see me on the way to work life can't be that bad eh?? (Mind you runnin' me over'd help)

BBC said...

“Vacancy of justice” …. I spotted those words in some of my notes. Don’t recall why I wrote them, they mean anything to you?

The Future Was Yesterday said...

I grew up in an area where the cackling of pheasants was as common as the chickens, so I was spoiled. Now.....the new owners of our old house report seeing/hearing one or two a year maybe...(:

"Pheasant under Grass"
You do have a way with word play.:)

"Yup. Dumb41 - the Grand Prick. Needs to slow DOWN. *snicker*"
LOL! I was definitely right on the above!:)

Croila said...

Ah, pheasants, pheasants. We have pheasants splattered all over the rural roads in Scotland at this time of year. Those birds are thick as shit and insist on getting themselves run over - shame, as they're bonnie to look at, but crikey, are they stupid!


They make cars for Zebra's now???

...only in America eh?

ticblog said...

I've never eaten pheasant or run one over. I think I might like a pheasant stuffie though - I could throw it in the street and wait until a car hit it, then run our screaming, "OH MY GOD - MY POOR PHEASANT!" It'd be in the interest of science, a research thing, really, to see how many people would actually stop so see if I needed help. I'd have to have lollipops or something to hand out to the nice ones who turned 'round.

And if it was a Zebra car that hit my stuffed pheasant, and they didn't turn around, I'd take the car (the you're an arsehole tax for not being helpful) and send it to you, Sew.


Oi!!! You've been drivin' t'work ong some'at!!


ong? shit...pissed


lomg????...shit...long. That's it. Long.

Croila said...

Sew ..? Where are you?It's been ages! Are you alright?