Wednesday, September 26, 2007

On being fat


Taken about 2 years ago - caught in the act of hand-quilting, and with my hair down (it's usually pulled back in a low tail down the back). Not the best photo, but then, I'm not particularly photogenic. I am, however, quite chubby.

Frankly, this is no worry for me. Considering the number of guys who pester me for sex - I'm in no hurtin' spot. I do wonder, however, about men whom I have no interest in, who seem to find a need to make pointed remarks about my physical attributes. This photo is a bit older - taken at a convention - I'm the one on the far right side.

Now, admittedly, I'm behind Dave, so you can't see all of me - but even without that - you CAN see that the "fat" bit certainly is NOT my ass. *grin*

Yeah, I'm fat. I don't really expect that to ever change. Between physical conditions and medicines related to them, there's little chance I'll ever be a teeny-tiny little woman.

But you know what? I have decided that I LIKE it that way. Because #1 - the guys I LIKE - are interested in me. And #2 - the guys who call me a fat-ass and act like fucking jerks DON"T want me - and I'm 250% OK with that - because they're repulsive.

*smiles sweetly*

Thank you for the ladder, Mike.

481 days


Anonymous said...

Sew, thank you for this post. I feel the exact same way. I have spent way too many years trying to please men as well as I could with what I had to work with - both physically and brain-wise. (ie brain suppression). All I attracted were jerks who took advantage of me. I'm not saying that men shouldn't admire a good looking woman but it should only be a hobby.

The man who loved me the most and still does, loves me exactly the way I am in all respects. Unfortunately we can't be together but I wouldn't settle for less than that kind of love. Why would I? Why would you? Why would anyone, male or female?

Great post.

momadness said...

Hello-I saw your comment on Morning Martini re: bush and the Iranian pres and thought you made a great response, including your comment to lower mack. I live in the state just west of you.

Croila said...

Ah, the whole fat debate. An emotive subject! Here in Scotland the news today is full of how we as a nation are second only to the USA in the obesity stakes - we're 2nd highest in the world, and you guys in America are the highest.

Now, overweight adults I don't have a problem with because I figure there's often an element of choice in there to some extent. I don't say always - I'm saying "often", mind. But, it's obese children that I have a problem with, as usually it's NOT their choice.

When I was in school there was the token "fat boy" and the token "fat lassie" in the class. They were tormented mercilessly. Which of course is horrendous. But when I was going to work this morning I drove past a secondary school, and for a good distance leading up to it there were clutches of two, three, four kids. In each little group, at least one child was really overweight. THAT I have a problem with. In our schools now, fat is becoming the norm and in growing children, I just can't condone that.

I think here the obesity thing is rooted largely in bloody-mindedness to some extent. Loads of us KNOW how to eat properly and we know we should take exercise. But in parts of this country, particularly Glasgow, if you go for the healthy option instead of deep-fried Mars Bar and chips, you're called every name under the sun (usually along the lines of "what, are you a poof or something?!). It's cultural. And it's dangerous, as the heart disease figures here are the worst in Europe.


Guys who say you're fat are probably frightened of confident women. "They're confident so knock 'em back"

Shapes n sizes babe. It's what makes us human.

'Avin said that Caz is 5 feet 1" and about 7 stone.

Thing is size is irrelevant.

Love isn't.

ps you're a babe.

so there x



beautiful hair n all

Mr Farty said...

Mrs Farty was 16 stone (224 lbs) when we married. Now she's less than 14st and I weigh more than her. Meh.

Leandra said...

Well, I've seen Mouse in person, and fat ass is not something she has. In fact, she doesn't have one at all. Given the size of her appreciable "assets" on the other side, it never ceases to amaze me she doesn't fall flat on her face every time she stands up from lack of a counterbalance.

I, on the other hand, have a fat ass. I won't go into details as to how/why I got this way, but suffice it to say I stop struggling a few years back and amazingly enough have lost around 60 pounds over the past two years without even trying.

My observation is that when men get that nasty about women's size they have some serious issues that have nothing to do with weight. If a man doesn't like heavy women that's his prerogative. Like Mouse I prefer such shallow jerks self-select and leave me alone in the first place.

I am one of those women who scare most men spitless. I'm very bright, educated, earn enough to not "need" someone to take care of me, am independent, articulate, have a great sense of humor and a lot of other good things. I am fond of saying that any man who would judge me by the breadth of my ass rather than the depth of my soul doesn't deserve someone like me anyway. I find insecure men a total turn off.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

My experience over the years has been that if a person is only looking at the ass, all they want is a piece of ass.

Some of them, incredibly, lack even the most basic personality and social skills, to get even that.

And you've got to be one sorry MFer, when you can't get laid in this society!:)

Or maybe they're all ass, and the other person would like just a tad more. Who knows?

BBC said...

You sent me that picture about a year ago. And admitted that you have a fat ass and are over weight.

I guess that if you are that way that it's best if you become okay with it.

I'm okay with big women, some of the best sex I ever had was with a big woman. She didn't like love, but she did like sex.

I said that she was big, but it was in body structure, she was just big boned. But !! She took being in shape serious and kept that body in shape.

And she was the only woman that could tighten her vagina on me. I didn't even know women could do that.

Anyway, there is big, and then there in big and in shape.

Just saying.

And like I told you a year ago, I think that you are attractive, a hell of a lot more attractive than Babzy.

Okay, did I manage to piss off or compliment anyone here?

Hugs hon, because I'll love you no matter how pissed you get at me. It's a soul thing. :-)

BBC said...

Isn't evolution interesting?

BBC said...

Hey Mike. Thanks for the ladder for Sew. I have about six of them but it would be a long way to deliver one to her.

I wrote something more profound but I forgot to copy it before I posted it and when I sent it the fucker got lost in cyberland.

She can get as pissed at me as she likes, I don't care. I just might understand her struggles more than she does. -

BBC said...

You know what?

You have grown.

You are allowing comments that at one time you wouldn't have allowed.

I love you for that.


Anonymous said...

Bill, the only way you would know what I look like, attractive or otherwise, is if you have been peeking in my window. Now there's a creepy thought.

I think Sew would agree with me that any comment coming from you, whether it be a compliment or an insult, would not make a dent in our psyches. Do you honestly think we would compete with each other to be attractive in your eyes? The idea is laughable.

Visionary said...

You had sex with a big gal Billy?

And here I always thought of you as gay, in a creepy Chester-the-Molester kind of way.

PS Big gals ro0L!!11!1

Leandra said...

Visionary, remember that when some guys say a "big" woman they are describing someone who, on actuary tables, might be 5 lbs. overweight or who is heavier than normal because of muscle mass. They don't mean "big" in the sense that you are using that word.

From my perspective, however, I want to hear of such prejudices within the first five minutes of meeting someone. That way I don't waste any quality time on someone that shallow. We are each entitled to go for what turns us on. For me it's a great sense of humor, high intelligence, and a degree of shared interests. For others it's the shape/size of their ass.

Frankly I wish I were so totally physically oriented. It would make it much easier to meet what I considered "quality" people. My criterion is tough. I want someone as smart as me, quick, and well up on the issues of the day. I admire mental acuity and as for the physical stuff, within very broad parameters, I don't really care. Clean is important, but I want a connection on a much deeper level than people who are in it for superficialities such as the shape/size of someone's ass. You don't have to spend a lot of time talking to someone's ass, to be honest.

The mind behind the person is much more important, and it endures beyond the time that the physical fades. On the other hand, someone who is fat, sloppy, slovenly and stupid.....well, there's not a lot to recommend there. On the other hand, I've known drop dead gorgeous people who had no substance to them at all. Then again, I've met a rare few who had an abundance of both physical beauty and intellectual depth. Those are indeed wonderful rare discoveries.

Sewmouse said...


You have too many hands.

Rauf said...

Hinduism is based on Mythology and there are gods and godesses. All depicted as well built and pleasantly plump. Some of them have four hands, a fantasy of all women. Only of late lean and hungry looks, a western idea of beauty has crept into Indian society.

Please take a look at the Renaissance art, paintings and sculpture. Except for Simonetta vespucci (Botticelli's Venus, died very yung at 22) all the models who appeared are fat, this continued well after the impressionists. Pre Raphaelists like Rosetti painted thinner models like Jane Burdon and Elizabeth Siddal. William Bouguereau though opposed impressionists but painted well built women. Renoire's bathers (all of them in all the paintings) were plump

Twiggy changed the idea of a womans beauty in the 60's, adorable though but unhealthy trend started in the mid 60's. The fashion models and the magazines promoted unhealthy way of life.
Being fat is not unhealthy as long as physical activities are not affected. i find fat people men and women fun loving and carefree and a very pleasant company.
But one should not let the body go out of shape. That is trouble.