Thursday, April 03, 2008

Tiny Home Improvements

Well, I've spent all winter being a lazy git and only doing the smallest of the "I really ought to do this around the house while it is winter and I'm stuck inside" chores. Last night I did one of the first of my "It's spring, time to get the garden spruced up" chores - which was a TINY, TINY thing - but very important to me.

See, I have this stupid latch on my gate that the condo association decided was the best latch for our gates - in their infinite stupidity. The latch consists of this weird "catcher" thing that moves up and down when it's not frozen in place, and is supposed to grab hold of this piece of 3/4"o.d. pipe that is flattened on one side and rivetted to the gate.

2 problems with this design. Well... more than 2....

First off, when it gets below freezing, the weird catcher thing freezes in place and the gate cannot be opened until it thaws or the iced up blockage is removed. As long as I am on the inside of the gate, this isn't a huge problem, because I just keep a metal spade in the back yard and whack the hell out of it until it moves. If I am OUTSIDE, however, I'm S.O.L.

Secondly, the guys who put in the fence posts did a crapass job of it and so when the weather changes, the fence posts heave up and down and many times the catchy thing cannot catch the pipe.

and not necessarily last, and certainly not least - the pipe is a pipe. A round object with a dark round hole. Attached to a WOODEN fence. Wasps make houses in these.

So - my itty bitty yet hideously significant chore was to stop at Ace Hardware, buy some of those plastic caps that you put over the bottoms of chair legs, except these were very thin and black and 3/4" inside diameter - and a bottle of all-purpose super-adhesive. I glued one of the little things onto the end of the pipe thing. Hopefully nobody will EVER be able to remove it. Hopefully the farking Association will never notice it is there. Wasps cannot get into it. I hate wasps.

Not too fond of your average W.A.S.P. either, for that matter.

291 Days


BBC said...

Fence posts in that area need to be at three feet deep to keep them from heaving, and even then they may 'adjust' some.

To keep the latch from freezing put a cover over it to keep the rain and snow off of it. And tell the association to go fuck themselves because you own the place and they are not always right and don't always know what is best.

One of the best all-purpose super-adhesives is Goop.

jIhAd PuNk said...

bbc is henceforth employed as my maintenance man. Alternatively he can drink all my beer and do it as a favour.

I really haven't a clue have I? ;-)

John Good said...

At last a kindred spirit when it comes to those hateful things! I've actually left things behind due to wasps nesting in or on them. . .

Croila said...

OMG, WASPS make their homes there? And you've only fixed it NOW??! ;-)