Thursday, January 18, 2007

"Relationships" and/or "Chivalry is dead - the feminists killed it"

One of the blogs I read sporadically is written by a young Saudi girl. In a recent post, she wailed about how "Chivalry is Dead". One of her commenters told her that the feminists killed it.

Perhaps so. I do know one thing - if I had it all to do over again, I would STILL consider that:

equal pay for equal work,
the right to vote,
the right to own my own property,
the right to make my own decisions,
the right to education,
the right to freedom of movement and freedom of choice,
the right to decide for myself who to marry, or when, or if,
the right to say NO,
the right to dress and eat and do as I wish,
the right to a profession
the right to be a HUMAN BEING, and not PROPERTY

would STILL be more important to me than having some dork open the door and bow as I pass thru.

Sorry boys. Just sayin'

St. Paul the Lutheran Minister is technically my Brother. We are (allegedly) Brother and Sister. That is a relationship.

Amanda is my daughter. We are Mother and Daughter. That is a relationship.

Tom is my boss. We are Supervisor and Employee. That is a relationship.

Leandra is my friend. We are friends. That is a relationship.

Anybody get where I'm going with this yet?

Ok. Here is the deal. I hear so many people using the word "Relationship" to describe dating or marriage or lustily hopping into the sack, and it seems everyone is forgetting that the word "Relationship" is far more all-encompassing than just fuck-related.

Why are we limiting this highly useful and demonstrably versatile word?

732 days - ITMFA


Dave said...

I agree with your priorities; but, my Mother, were she with us, would slap me up the side of the head if I didn't hold a door for a woman. So, I still do. Door holding, yes ma'am and sir, please and thank you are valuable courtesies. I think if more people honored them, you'd see more of your list honored.

Sewmouse said...

Welcome, Dave.

Congratulations to you for maintaining chivalry in the world gone crazy.

I wish I could agree with you about your last sentance, but unfortunately, history teaches us that when men were expected to do these things - not swearing in front of ladies, not adjusting the "family jewels" in front of ladies, removing your hat, opening doors, relinquishing your seat, etc., women were treated as property and not allowed those things on my list.

We were expected to have no higher ambition than to be some man's unpaid house-slave and sextoy, for the "honor" of being their "wife".

If we ran away from an abusive situation, we were branded as sexually promiscuious and "damaged goods" and had essentially two career options available - sweatshop labor, or prostitute.

And all this VERY strongly supported and encouraged by the Xtian Church. ("Wives, submit to your husbands in all things, as to the Lord" - thank you, Saul of Tarsus)

I'm not a feminist. I am a humanist. I don't believe that your plumbing should affect anything other than the position in which you pee. I don't believe that gender should be a determining factor in anything other than personal sexual preference and restroom facility selection.

Dave said...

After I'd written my comment, I thought about some of what you wrote above. I should have said that honoring common courtesy, and MEANING it, extending it to everyone, women, men, other religions and races, might lead to valuing those groups. Thinking about it, I don't know that that is true. Valuing others is not a result of civility (though Heinlein in one of his early novels thought differently). Civility can be heartfelt or hollow.

Peacechick Mary said...

Then there is the "significant other" designation. That, too, is confusing to me as I have many who are very significant to me. But, boyfriend and girlfriend are out and people just don't use the real term - lover, so what are we to do. I'm wondering what the Saudi woman actually meant by chivalry as it actually means defending another's honor.

BBC said...

Umm, I hold doors open for complete strangers. I will open doors for a woman I'm with if she expects that, but not if she doesn't want that treatment.

A relationship is simple in my mind. It's two people that get alone well together and agree on most things and work on those they don't agree on.

Ah, sex, what is that? Besides something I like to talk a lot about that is.

I think that we are friends, we relate well together. This is a good relationship and I love you.

And if you take "I love you" wrong I will bop you on the head with a pipe wrench. LOL


betmo said...

perhaps i am missing something here. shouldn't people hold doors open for other people? why is it gender related? as a human being, i want to be treated with respect. i want to be treated as a person. i need no special treatment because i am a woman. these gender roles were put into place by men who didn't want women to realize that they were being treated as second class citizens. please. we took the opened door but still realized we were paid less- if even hired at all. you get the idea. i haven't had my cup of coffee yet.