What to do.... what to do....

A connundrum, if you will.

Ever since my niece was born - heck, ever since my niece was announced as being concieved, I've had this dream of being able to present my brother with a copy of his favorite childhood book, published in 1959, out of print for lo, these many years.

I've never found it. Until this morning. I happened to be on Amazon looking for a book on homebrewing mead and a few CD's that I need to replace because they got oogie or stolen. For some unearthly reason I decided to "search" for the title of SPTLM's childhood favorite book... and they have it.

It's a rare book, apparently, there is only one person offering it, it's used and kind of not the best condition - but it exists. They want $50 for it.

So.... considering the rather abyssmal state of the relationship between my "brother" and myself - I wonder if I should just forget about it - or go with my instinct and find a way to get it for him just because I think it would be cool.

Mind you, I have no delusions that this will somehow "fix" things between SPTLM and myself - that can only come with a concerted effort on both our parts, and specifically the decision on his part to accept that I am who I am and I'm not going to pretend to be stupid or subordinate to him..."divinity" degree or no degree.

I also found Amanda's childhood favorite library book. Again - she's not on speaking terms with me, and I have no idea if or when she plans to have kids - or if she'd even have any interest in having a copy of "Bill and Pete"... but it's really rather tempting - and significantly inexpensive enough for me to purchase even if it isn't appreciated.

I think I will certainly get Bill and Pete. Still not sure on the other one.

Suggestions appreciated.

725 days - ITMFA