The Death of a Dream (not emo) or "Mindi's Great Adventure - NOT"

I had a thought the other day. My cats were born, have grown up and lived their entire lives indoors. The only times they've been outside they've been in a carton or a crate. (Carton to bring them home, official "cat-carryall" crate since.)

So I thought - Hey! The back yard is fenced, Mindi is Fat, I bet she would enjoy sitting in the sunshine on the back patio while I have my coffee in the morning on the weekend! I had these sweet mental images of Fat Kitty laying in the sun - swiping at the leaves of the now-defunct daffodils, watching the birds...

So. Yesterday morning I pulled out the lawn furniture from the garage, cleaned off the winter dust and made a nice cup of coffee, then brought Mindi outside.

She cried. Oh dear LORDY how she cried. At least 4 other cats in the neighborhood took up the caterwauling - it was Drama Queen Central in my back garden. You would have thought I'd pulled her skin off. Then she hid under my chair. Which was ok, but I kept telling her it was ok, and she didn't need to be such a chickenshit.

So she started to do a little exploring, and decided to hide between the fence and the air conditioner. Which would have been ok, but she got herself stuck UNDER the fence, 1/2 in my yard and 1/2 in the neighbor's yard, where Ike the Dog lives.

She would NOT come out. not even for a can of tuna. No Noms were good enough for her to leave her tidy little cave. I would have left her there until she felt safe again, but ... Ike the Dog lives there, and she was 1/2 in HIS yard. I couldn't take the chance.

Ike the Dog's owner (you will note, I know the DOG's name, but not the guy or his wife's names... *rolling eyes at myself*) locks his back gate, so I could not do an end-around and yank her out from his side, so I leaned over my AC unit and tugged and pulled and pushed and tugged and swore and pulled and pushed and re-positioned and pushed and shoved and pulled and tugged and... KITTY. Picked her fat arse up and tossed her into the kitchen, closed the door and sat down in the sun and drank my coffee and realized that the buccolic dream of spending a morning in the sun on the patio with the kitty was just never going to happen.

[emo moment] *sigh* [/emo]