Certified Used?

The Honda dealer on the corner where I turn to go to work has signs in the windows of all the vans on the East side of the lot that say "Certified Used".

I'm happy he has these signs. The fact that it is a 1985 van might just make me sceptical if I thought it was a NEW 1985 van that nobody thought was good enough for them to buy in over 20 years on the lot.

You would think - or, at least *I* would think - that considering the pressure that car lots get from the manufacturers for turning over inventory, that at SOME point they would have marked down this van enough that SOMEONE would buy it, no matter how ugly the upholstry or flakey-sounding the engine, or wimpy the tires when kicked.

However, this sign lets me know that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, SOMETIME climbed into this van, breathed deeply of the New Vinyl and Formaldehyde scent, Took the proffered keys and drove off the lot happy with their new baby.

Yes, the fact that this car is CERTIFIED to be USED is comforting.

Lexus goes one step further - they call them "CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED" - because Pre-Owned is the Posh and Snobby way to say "Used". Lexus doesn't have "USED" car salesmen - it has "PREOWNED" car salesmen - which does, in fact, seem to insinuate slavery in some rank and dismal way - as who would REALLY want to have a car salesman as a slave, sex or otherwise? Not to mention getting "sloppy seconds" on the slave owning and all. *shudder*

You know - it would be nice if these cars, Certified as OLD AND USED UP AND PROBABLY 2 WEEKS AWAY FROM BLOWING A TRANNY, would come with something a bit more useful - like a warranty or something...

Dream on, Mouse.

287 days