Proof that I cannot draw my way out of a paper sack...

Remember those little drawings we all did as kids of a house, and a tree, and sunshine, and a bird and flowers?

Somebody has duplicated that drawing, but in real life and without the bird - and sunshine only sometimes, and straight lines instead of wiggly ones.

There is a sod farm a few miles down the road from where I live, and there is a homestead on the property. Large garage, painted white with green roof and green trim, 3 multi-pane windows on each of the 2 long sides. And along under those windows, dark dark peonies and iris with spikey spikey foliage.

I swear it looks just like a kid's drawing of a "house" (except for the big garage door...) I don't think it has a tree. We shall see when I go home.

Just delightful. I shall indeed post a photo when I get home and get a photo, assuming there is enough light because right now it is VERY DARK outside and raining and it's the end of the world and we're all gonna die.

So, I'm sitting here with more computer memory around my neck than was used to send Apollo11 to the moon. A 2-gig usb flash memory stick on a ribbon. Amazing, eh? I love TigerDirect. For stuff like memory sticks and mouses and keyboards they have awesome prices, and if I order before 4pm, I usually get it the next day. I've never gotten anything "huge" from them like a whole computer or a monitor or anything - but the stuff I've gotten has been good.

234 days

Motivational Overload

Ever get to the point where there is just so much to do and utterly no time to do it in?

Or there's so much to do that you get paralyzed because you get overwhelmed? I think that's what has happened to me at home lately.

I come home from work, and I see Dishes/Laundry/Vacuuming/Dusting/FloorScrubbing/Gardening all needing to be done, each of them wailing at the top of their lungs for my complete and undivided attention - and the cacophony overloads my circuits and I shut down. I have yelled at the laundry repeatedly, but it simply refuses to do itself.

I know the solution. I got it from one of the most annoying women I've ever worked with, but despite all her less-than-endearing qualities, she did come up with one piece of advice that stuck with me. I know the solution - "Pick a pizza".

See, this annoying former co-worker was the receptionist for a few months, and had previously been co-owner with her husband of a pizzaria. After their divorce (WHY am I not surprised...) he got the business and she had to go find a "real job". The solution, however did come from one of her myriad pieces of unsolicited advice. Her story went thus:

"When I was IN CHARGE at the pizza parlor, I would see a lot of new employees who would become so overwhelmed by the volume of orders during our heavy volume times that they would just freeze in place, unable to do all of it at once. I would tell them 'Just pick ONE pizza - make that ONE pizza - don't worry about the others' and when it is done, pick another one."

So - I seriously need to decide which of my houseworking pizzas to attack first. The one I hate most would probably be the best idea - but one that has a large visual "DID IT" factor might be a better choice in terms of self-motivation.

Hey Amanda - your e-mail bounced - how about sending me your new address so I can put it in my addresses book?

235 days

Brrrrrrrrrr

T'is cold today. Was very cold last nite, and I forgot I'd turned off the furnace until like 3 a.m. at which point it was too late, so I just burrowed under the covers and swore a lot.

I was going to write a whole gigabyte here about another of the forwarded e-mails from my super-religious family, but then I read something on TFWY's and on Enigma4ever's blogs (differing opinions, to be certain) and another set of thoughts started percolating around.

Oh, I'll get back to the gigabyte diatribe later - perhaps not even a diatribe, perhaps just the very sad, very hurt feeling I have regarding this e-mail. But enough.

It would appear from things said in the last few days - and will doubtless become 100% certain by the end of the week - that the Democratic party will be close to anointing their Sacrifice to the System - whether Senator Obama or Senator Clinton.

I can understand that there are folks who are not happy with Senator Obama. I can understand that there are other folks who are not happy with Senator Clinton. I can even understand that there are staunch Democratic folks who are not happy with either of the 2 remaining candidates. Fair enough.

Whatever our reasons, however, I think it is important to take a step back, a deep breath - let your eyes wander over the lovely spring flowers, breathe deep of the crisp clean air... and remember that all of us want a Better America, but that our own visions of a "Better America" are all going to be different.

Just as Man has created his God in his own image, so too it seems, many are intent on ONLY voting for a Presidential Candidate who shares all .. not most... not some... not just the important ones, ... but ALL of their personal agendas.

Dad does this "Can't vote for X - he's pro-gay. Can't vote for Y - he's anti-social-security. Can't vote for Z - he's not a Real Republican©"

Sometimes we have to back away from our own pet issues and take a look at the larger picture. Sometimes we have to think long and hard not only about what will benefit ourselves and our agendas, but that of the community as well. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride - a most bitter pill! - and realize that even though our pet issue is not going to be addressed, the people running for office are trying to do the best they can - and will try to benefit the MOST people possible.

Dad and his groups are ardent Conservatives - of the OLD school of conservatism, not the current corporate-welfare, pander to the elite neocon conservatives. I'm not ashamed to say that I am a liberal. Dad knows this - and he knows that I'll get up a head of steam if he yanks hard enough on my chain - and we both love each other so much that we just both back off and talk about citrus trees. (Long story)

So what I'm asking for here - from all my pals - is a bit of a moritorium on knee-jerk responses. Just because someone doesn't approve of your pick for candidate and states his/her reasons doesn't make them an abominable troll or an idiot. Not everyone is verbally Shakespeare, so consider that it may not be ignorance, or negativity but possibly the "tone" that the internet gives things that don't have inflections and gestures to soften.

Please can we all who have been such a comfort and support to one another through the last 7 1/2 years of hell stop backbiting and sniping and knee-jerking - and remember that after this is all over - however it turns out - we are still all going to be Americans, we all still have to live together and get along (Shaddup, Manic, I know you're not 'Merkan).

Kum-ba-ya
And all that.

236 days

My plants love me

Yesterday I thought I'd killed about 8 of them. Ones I hadn't gotten into the ground yet, due to me being a lazy slob and not wanting to dig holes. They were bone dry (why do we say that? Bones are pretty darn wet if they are inside people like they supposed to be). So I flooded the cardboard tray they were in, gave the dirt in their pots a sprinkle and went in and had a G&T.

This morning they were perky and upright and beaming at me. Yes they were beaming. They're my plants, dammit, and if I want them to beam, they're gonna BEAM!!!

So anyhow, the little baby impatiens will survive, and all will be well as soon as I put in another 40 minutes or so on the gardening and digging holes and rescuing the subsiding wire plant thingys.

Lea is hanging in there. Got some really good advice from a visiting healthcare worker, and found some other "workarounds", so she's doing a bit better between the Chemo appointments. I'm glad she's found some relief for the mouth sores, they sounded utterly miserable.

I think I shall buy some new tomato cages. The ones I have are probably 15 yrs old and all rusty and nasty. Since I only have 2 tomato plants this year, I'll only buy 2 cages, but I will buy some sticks, because I think the pepper plants need sticks.

More to say, but will have to wait for later - lunchtime is over, back to work!

237 days

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

The lumber yard is gone, and now there is a BP gasoline station there.

The Tri-Village Drive-In fast-food restaurant is gone, and now there is a Walgreen's.

The K-Mart is gone, and now there is a Menards, but the Menards is closing.

The Robert Hall is gone, replaced by a series of restaurants, replaced by a Blockbuster Video, recently torn down. Also torn down the entire strip-mall that used to have Dominics and Radio Shack and the cheap movie theater that was always playing Rocky Horror at midnite. They are building a ginormous Menards. *sigh*

The only upside to this is that the Washington Mutual office where the manager was a complete and utter anal orifice was part of what was torn down, so that CSMF has doubtless lost his job, which amuses me to no end.

I guess I can understand why the Blockbuster is gone - since it became rather useless since Netflix went online, and because DVD's are so cheap - but the building was one of those "Memory Palace" places for me. I remember being dragged along on a shopping trip to buy my kid brother a brown suit. Same thing with the cheap movie - except we never bought SPTLM a suit there.

If you go to the Museum of Science and Industry downtown, there are photographs of downtown Chicago from before the fire, photos from the Capone years, and the difference from the concrete canyons that engulf the lakeshore now is staggering. And now the same thing is happening to my home town(s). Places I grew up with have disappeared - Shirl's Drive-In is now a municipal parking lot.

I remember how Mom in her last months, wanted so badly to go "home" - back to Chicago, back to the house on Latrobe Avenue. A house that was in such a bad neighborhood and in such disrepair when my cousin "B" drove past it some years ago that I'm both afraid and far, far too sad to go see for myself. Even had she been able to get back north here, she would never have recognized her home. I know that I had some of that same feeling when I moved back from Colorado to Illinois - culture-shock, sort of, because I my mental image of my hometown had remained static during the years in Colorado, but the actual town had grown, matured and changed.

All this thinking comes from a couple of things - not the least of which was driving past the empty lot where the Blockbuster used to be. One of those other things was that Lea has made arrangements for her "final destination" on her Earthwalk. She's found this group called the "Neptune Society" that lets you prepay for final arrangements, and all you need do after is make a single phone call - no BS with your grief-stricken relatives being snookered by shady funeral directors. The only caveat is that they cremate you, and I don't want that. I wanna be planted. More on that later.

Another thing was reading yet another blog by someone who had to deal with the "That's Not Period" snarks from the SCA (Society for Creative Anacronism). These folks are anal-retentive to the extreme with regard to what they believe was, or was not, available or used, or constructed in some way - during their period of historical interest. Now, some things I can agree on - plastic Tupperware containers, for instance. What always, ALWAYS toasts my cookies, however, is statements like "There is NO emperical PROOF that any period garment contained a seam in that place.... " &etc.

These Ancients were people who built huge cathedrals, enormous palaces, grand monuments, many of which are still standing today. They were people who circumnavigated the globe in ships built strong enough to withstand long ocean voyages - but .... We are to believe they were Too Stupid to figure out that a diagonal seam would give a better "line"??????????

There are only a few remaining actual garments from these times, and yet these folks would have you believe that everyone and his sick Uncle Norm dressed identically, and had exactly the same style/cut of garments. Kind of like a "period piece" remake of Logan's Run. Walk down the street tonight and see if you can see any two people (not in uniform) who are dressed in exactly the same style and colors. Point.

"Serious" Historians crack me up. Especially the ones who "pronounce" something as given truth based on the scanty evidence available. (mind you, not all SCAdians are annoying snarks like this - in fact, MOST are not - but the ones online seem to be almost universally BAD)*

So.

I want to be planted. I already have a "plantation" - 2, actually, an embarassment of riches, given to me by my Dad. Right next to Grandma and Grandpa, across the way from Uncle Ed and Aunt Lena and cousin Mildred. 2 rows over and about 6 spaces to the right from Uncle Walter and my great-grandparents. Some days when it is warm and sunny, I go have lunch with Grandma.

I want my DNA to be available. I actually WANT someone to find me in 2000 years. I hope they DO dig me back up and try to learn about life here and now from me. I want to be an archaeological discovery. I want MY shabby wardrobe to be considered "in Period".

To this end, I'm working on putting together a box of stuff I want to have planted along with me. And a letter, explaining that these "grave goods" are not supposed to help me in the "Afterlife" - but there to help others learn about me and mine - because something tells me that 2000 years from now there's going to be a lot of folks who think we all dressed and acted and --"thought"-- like Paris Hilton - and that is just too frightening to contemplate!!

Oh - and HUGE HUGE HUGE Congratulations to Croila and Kal on an engagement and an excellent graduation!

241 days

Call me Reverend - I have a holey office!

There is a hole in the ceiling behind my desk.

Actually, it's not a hole, as much as it is a vacancy where one of the drop-ceiling tiles has been shoved over to the side so the roofing guy can look at the roof above it and see if there is a leak. So, it's a hole, but it's not a hole hole. Just a opening-hole. Still and all, the raccoons will drop down on me and bite me on the head.

I have no idea why ...

WAIT!! Yes I do. I remember why open holes in drop ceilings make me think of raccoons! The church I used to attend back when Amanda was little and I was still mainstream lutheran christian had a raccoon get into the ceiling of the girls' bathroom down in the basement. He/she/it fell thru the ceiling tile and into the bathroom stall, hurt itself rather badly, as there was blood all over the place.

Stay away, raccoon. This is not a bathroom, this is my office.

I'm feeling like I've been terribly spendy this weekend. I bought some geraniums and some peas and my replacement peppers and a delphinium and some daylillies and really, I shouldn't have gotten so much but I do so love having flowers and the annuals help fill in while the perennials are working hard at being fruitful and multiplying. The peony, btw, now has 8 buds. I shall need an entire HILL of ants. Like a horror-movie in miniature.

Thank goodness the peony plant is like 15 feet from the house.

I also picked up a lot of groceries and had brunch at the Dysfunctional Dennys. All in all, I spent wayyyyy too much.

They're now fixing the roof over my desk. Scrape!! Scrape!! Scrape!!!!!
I think it is giving me a headache. You know it's annoying when I'd prefer to hear HEADERS to the sound of the scraping!!

245 days

Good Thursday

Ok, I realize that is not ecumenically correct - but I don't care.


My arm is feeling better, thank you for asking. I must have pulled a muscle in my shoulder or something, although for the life of me I can't remember doing anything that would have caused it. I do have to keep reminding myself "DON"T LEAN" on my elbow when I'm reading or typing at the computer. Anyhow, it is better. Still needs a bit of healing, but I'm glad at the progress

The new shoes apparently have solved the ankle/tendon thing. I still do go barefeets at home, and wear flats maybe once a week to work - but I'm not in any pain anymore. This is a good thing.

Leandra is back home from the hospital. Guess they kicked her out for bad behavior. *Ducking from Lea's throwing shoes at me* I've always heard that Chemo is a rough ride, and she's certainly getting her share of rough ride. I hope they can find something to get her through it a little less painfully and weak.

My peony bush is doing well. It has 4 buds on it this year - up from 2 last year. I think I will need more ants. Jim at work tells me that I don't need ants, that it is a old wives tale that the ants open the peonies - but I think I will need twice as many ants as last year. I hope this plant doesn't get TOO big - I don't need all that many ants in my yard.

249 days.

Mid May Already?

Amazing how the days all run into one another anymore.

Leandra is in the hospital. Between the blood clot in her ankle, and her inability to eat anything, and total lack of energy, it's probably the best place for her, but I imagine she's wishing she were home and bored out of her skull. I am going to look on the bright side and figure that "no news is good news" - because I know that if anything horrible happened, her daughter or sister would call me.

It is sooooo frustrating being here and unable to do anything, but I guess it would be MORE frustrating to be THERE and unable to do anything. At least being 2000 miles away gives me a mental "excuse" to temper the frustration.

250 days

A science experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong!

People need to be more like Volkswagens. We need interchangable parts. Like a Barbie Doll, sorta. So I could go to the parts store, order up a new arm for the one that is giving me fits, and just pop off the old one and pop on the new, Voila! no more achey arm!

Dad sent me more of his "conservative" propaganda by mail. An entire 4-page tirade against Senator Obama. Gee, Dad, I'm sorry, but it seems to me that calling your wife a Cunt in public - as Senator McCain did - certainly is more Anti-Family than supporting the right of same-sex couples to adopt children.

So - my S-I-L has developed a sideline - he's putting his photos on to postcards, then selling them thru the local merchants. Excellent idea. B takes great photos, he's exceptionally talented. I totally love the one that Amanda sent me. I'm really glad she found herself such a great guy and that they're happy.

So I have this stench stuck in my nose. You know how sometimes you hear a song and it gets stuck in your head and you can't stop it? Well, this morning, it being trash day and all, I decided to check the fridge for science experiments and found one. I tossed it out, rinsed and poured bleach into the container, and immediately took the trash out. Too late. Whatever that was, it is coming back to haunt me periodically today. Euchhhhhh. Mental note: Check for science experiments more often!


Sometimes I have trouble thinking of post titles. Today would be one.



255 days

Thursday in My Office

It really is hard to believe that just a few weeks ago it was threatening to sn*w again. The trees are blooming, or beginning to leaf out, there are flowers all over and some guy was walking down the street in shorts and a t-shirt yakking into his cell phone.

It's still a bit too chilly to go have "lunch with Grandma", but soon it should be fine - as long as the ground dries out enough to actually sit on it.

I really wish I could have slept in today. I'm still kind of groggy. But! The Bank Statement arrived today, so I've got something to sink my teeth into this afternoon. Figuratively. Bank Statements do not taste good.

256 days