Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I want to go to Wales...
So I'm perusing the most recent copy of Archaeology that I've got sitting around and there is a story of this guy in Wales who bought a farm and is excavating the remnants of a Medieval city. He's an amateur, and is actually welcoming "volunteers" to assist him. It sounds fascinating. I could sift rubble! Wouldn't it be just magical if they found lots and lots of old garments that would put the quash on all those SCA Snarks who like to belittle anyone's efforts because "It's Not Period"?
Monday, August 28, 2006
Numbers Game
Ok, so as of today, things haven't gone over 135 except for the one day when I was all fardleschnockered up with eating. (never really had 2 hours between "meals".
In fact, had a couple of "VLN" tests (Very Low Number - not a technical term, but my way of dealing with it mentally.) 116, 115, 91.
Now, the 91 was yestereve - Sunday nite before supper. The thing is, Sunday is my somewhat "fast" day. I don't usually eat breakfast OR lunch, just a sort of light "brunch" around 10-11-or even as late as 1:30 pm. Oh, I'm sure the Dr. will have all SORTS of fits about my weekend noshing schedule (or lack of such). But really, I don't feel hungry when I'm at home. When at work is a different beastie altogether.
My internet connectivity has gone all to shit again. If it is still as unstable as it was last night, I will call Comcast again tonite. We couldn't do our usual Sunday Night Dungeon run in WoW (there are 5 of us who set aside a few hours on Sunday nites to play) - and it was mostly because of MY conn problems (although Geraldo's loose antenna wire was an issue as well).
I do seem to be back on track on the whole "do stuff" routine at home. I have made lists and have actually done most of them. The floors still give me fits because it hurts so much to mop - but I'll get to that at some point. Right now, just getting the clutter un-cluttered some, and getting the killer dustbunnies out of the way will help enormously.
I am feeling a lot like all I have been doing is being sick and being tired and DEPRESSED!! I need to get the house cleaned more. I need to get OUT of said house more. I need to work on my quilts more and fixate on my problems less. Easier said than done.
However. Someone near and dear (ok - FAR and dear, but still dear) gave me a serious lecture about inappropriate attachments, being too house-bound and the choices we make and such. He still thinks I'm scared of the "C" word (committment) because of what happened with Terry. I suspect he is correct. (Damn him, he usually IS) I know that my self-protective instinct is to stay away from anyone/thing that I know has the potential to hurt me. I think that's why I'm not able to pursue the whole "serious" bit seriously. It's easier to be glib and causal, no expectations, no hopes, no dreams -because then you get no rejections, no disappointments, no heartaches.
I've lost my ability to "believe" in the whole romance deal for the great extent.
In other news - I did open up just the slightest and kind of let some info about me out to the "world" by posting a comment in a blog that I really enjoy reading. I don't always agree with Mustapha, and CERTAINLY not often with his other "commentors" - but he asked about the people reading his blog, and I felt it was only polite to respond, even if only somewhat "vaguely".
I know that Pirate will likely have fits about this - but I think it's important to read ALL sides of an issue, even if you don't agree with someone. To get a glimpse of how their mind works, of seeing their side of things, of learning the "why" and the "what" of their life, gives perspective. It helps to see the rest of the inhabitants of the planet as PEOPLE. Rather than as "Damn Israelis" or "Damn Muslims" or "Damn Libs" "Damn Cons" "Damn Freepers"....
Ok. Damn Freepers I can relate to. The rest are people.
And MOST of these people want nothing more than to live their lives quietly, tending their gardens, cooking their favorite foods, laughing with their friends and feeling happy. The "death" people, those who would choose war over peace, hatred over cooperation, who would sacrifice their children, and their grandchildren's futures (And yes - both Nazerallah and GWB fit that description!) are the minority.
Most are like the little old italian lady that a friend of mine spoke to many years ago in Italy. My friend asked if the lady was happy living under (at that time) communist party domination of the country. The lady said (paraphrase) - "Communists, Royalists, Democrats - what does it matter? I tend my garden, I do my laundry, I feed my children."
Those who would play "god" with other people's lives for the sake of their own power-hubris trip are the evil ones. George Walker Bush leads THAT line.
In fact, had a couple of "VLN" tests (Very Low Number - not a technical term, but my way of dealing with it mentally.) 116, 115, 91.
Now, the 91 was yestereve - Sunday nite before supper. The thing is, Sunday is my somewhat "fast" day. I don't usually eat breakfast OR lunch, just a sort of light "brunch" around 10-11-or even as late as 1:30 pm. Oh, I'm sure the Dr. will have all SORTS of fits about my weekend noshing schedule (or lack of such). But really, I don't feel hungry when I'm at home. When at work is a different beastie altogether.
My internet connectivity has gone all to shit again. If it is still as unstable as it was last night, I will call Comcast again tonite. We couldn't do our usual Sunday Night Dungeon run in WoW (there are 5 of us who set aside a few hours on Sunday nites to play) - and it was mostly because of MY conn problems (although Geraldo's loose antenna wire was an issue as well).
I do seem to be back on track on the whole "do stuff" routine at home. I have made lists and have actually done most of them. The floors still give me fits because it hurts so much to mop - but I'll get to that at some point. Right now, just getting the clutter un-cluttered some, and getting the killer dustbunnies out of the way will help enormously.
I am feeling a lot like all I have been doing is being sick and being tired and DEPRESSED!! I need to get the house cleaned more. I need to get OUT of said house more. I need to work on my quilts more and fixate on my problems less. Easier said than done.
However. Someone near and dear (ok - FAR and dear, but still dear) gave me a serious lecture about inappropriate attachments, being too house-bound and the choices we make and such. He still thinks I'm scared of the "C" word (committment) because of what happened with Terry. I suspect he is correct. (Damn him, he usually IS) I know that my self-protective instinct is to stay away from anyone/thing that I know has the potential to hurt me. I think that's why I'm not able to pursue the whole "serious" bit seriously. It's easier to be glib and causal, no expectations, no hopes, no dreams -because then you get no rejections, no disappointments, no heartaches.
I've lost my ability to "believe" in the whole romance deal for the great extent.
In other news - I did open up just the slightest and kind of let some info about me out to the "world" by posting a comment in a blog that I really enjoy reading. I don't always agree with Mustapha, and CERTAINLY not often with his other "commentors" - but he asked about the people reading his blog, and I felt it was only polite to respond, even if only somewhat "vaguely".
I know that Pirate will likely have fits about this - but I think it's important to read ALL sides of an issue, even if you don't agree with someone. To get a glimpse of how their mind works, of seeing their side of things, of learning the "why" and the "what" of their life, gives perspective. It helps to see the rest of the inhabitants of the planet as PEOPLE. Rather than as "Damn Israelis" or "Damn Muslims" or "Damn Libs" "Damn Cons" "Damn Freepers"....
Ok. Damn Freepers I can relate to. The rest are people.
And MOST of these people want nothing more than to live their lives quietly, tending their gardens, cooking their favorite foods, laughing with their friends and feeling happy. The "death" people, those who would choose war over peace, hatred over cooperation, who would sacrifice their children, and their grandchildren's futures (And yes - both Nazerallah and GWB fit that description!) are the minority.
Most are like the little old italian lady that a friend of mine spoke to many years ago in Italy. My friend asked if the lady was happy living under (at that time) communist party domination of the country. The lady said (paraphrase) - "Communists, Royalists, Democrats - what does it matter? I tend my garden, I do my laundry, I feed my children."
Those who would play "god" with other people's lives for the sake of their own power-hubris trip are the evil ones. George Walker Bush leads THAT line.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Pressie!!!
Or to be honest, not really a present, but it feels like one, so there. What actually is happening is that a friend of mine and I exchanged "work" - She had a quilt top she just couldn't seem to get "into" putting together, and I have this problem with small-scale crochet - but coveted this tablecloth for years.
Mind you, I love antimacassars and doilies and table-runners, but I simply cannot maintain an even thread-tension when using tiny hooks and crochet thread. (I do fine with bulky wool and anything over an "E" size hook)
So we swapped. She mailed me all the ickle bitty pieces of the quilt and directions on how to assemble, and I mailed her the instructions on how to make the tablecloth and a bit of money to buy the thread with. I finished the top and sent it back to her - and today she is going to mail me THIS!!:
Swoon, covet and admire to your heart's content - just do not DROOL on my beautiful new tablecloth!!
Mind you, I love antimacassars and doilies and table-runners, but I simply cannot maintain an even thread-tension when using tiny hooks and crochet thread. (I do fine with bulky wool and anything over an "E" size hook)
So we swapped. She mailed me all the ickle bitty pieces of the quilt and directions on how to assemble, and I mailed her the instructions on how to make the tablecloth and a bit of money to buy the thread with. I finished the top and sent it back to her - and today she is going to mail me THIS!!:
Swoon, covet and admire to your heart's content - just do not DROOL on my beautiful new tablecloth!!
Tropical Depression Nears Storm Strength
Ok, well, that was the headline on a Yahoo news item.
Kind of hit me though... sounds like me. Suburban Chicago Depression nears "Storm" strength. And then... Chicago Storm Sewmouse reaching Hurricane force...
Yes, it definately sounds like me.
Maybe that's why I enjoyed standing outside in the wind and rain while Jeanne drove over Florida 2 yrs ago?
Kind of hit me though... sounds like me. Suburban Chicago Depression nears "Storm" strength. And then... Chicago Storm Sewmouse reaching Hurricane force...
Yes, it definately sounds like me.
Maybe that's why I enjoyed standing outside in the wind and rain while Jeanne drove over Florida 2 yrs ago?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
They demoted Pluto
Apparently some Astronomers in Prague, Czech Republic have unilaterally decided that Pluto is no longer a planet.
I've always thought that a planet named after a Disney cartoon dog was a bit stupid, but I've accepted it and it really hasn't affected my life to any great extent, one way or the other.
This, however, this GHASTLY decision by a bunch of ALMOST-POLLACKS leaves the next-to final planet in our Solar System - the penultimate planet - the planet at the REAR END of the system... as... Uranus (as opposed to the TAIL end - Neptune).
Oh for the love of mike.
I've always thought that a planet named after a Disney cartoon dog was a bit stupid, but I've accepted it and it really hasn't affected my life to any great extent, one way or the other.
This, however, this GHASTLY decision by a bunch of ALMOST-POLLACKS leaves the next-to final planet in our Solar System - the penultimate planet - the planet at the REAR END of the system... as... Uranus (as opposed to the TAIL end - Neptune).
Oh for the love of mike.
Another day, another number.
Ok, so this makes no sense.
Yesterday night, I took the stupid test, and the number was 125. The ONLY thing that I had to eat was the tilapia fillets. 100% protein, no carbs. Just water to drink. So why the flying fardleschnocker was the number 135 this morning? I'm NOT HAPPY® about this!
I need to buy a kitchen timer for at work. Perhaps today at lunch when I go get another "mega-salad". I want to walk for 15 minutes 3x per week. This is not a lot, and I'm fair certain I could manage it. Even if it's more like hobbling for the first while until I get stronger. So why the kitchen timer? Simple! I set the timer for 7.5 minutes. Walk as far away as I can during that time, then walk back when the timer goes off. Voila! 15 minute walk. If I can convince myself to do this at lunchtime at work, it keeps my evenings free for cleaning, gaming and couch-potatoing.
Headaches, and insomnia, though. I think the headaches may be related to the lower blood-sugar. They FEEL like the ones I get when I forget to eat (or get caught in the middle of something and CAN"T eat.)
Called Dad last nite and told him about both the Diabetes and the tilapia. Spent a good hour trading recipies and test numbers. *grin* I think the trip will be in October. He's already making plans for what all we will do and eat when I get there. Amazingly, the man finds it in him to tell me he loves me now. Still chokes me up every time that he says it. I work to remember to tell him that I love him right before I hang up every time. If for some reason it's the last words he ever hears from me - so help me, they will be that I love him.
I talked to him a tiny bit about how angry I was at St. Paul the Lutheran Minister for telling me to stop stroking Mom's arm near the end. Dad wasn't happy that Paul had said that to me (he didn't hear it at the time). I wish so much that I hadn't listened to that pompous little git. It's hard to reconcile all the mistakes I made with my memories and feelings about Mom. The more that I think about all this, the angrier and more hateful I feel toward that self-righteous prick.
I don't have a brother. There is just some interfering busybody self-righteous religious prick with no brains who insists on kibbitzing between me and my FAMILY.
I wish he would die in a fire.
Yesterday night, I took the stupid test, and the number was 125. The ONLY thing that I had to eat was the tilapia fillets. 100% protein, no carbs. Just water to drink. So why the flying fardleschnocker was the number 135 this morning? I'm NOT HAPPY® about this!
I need to buy a kitchen timer for at work. Perhaps today at lunch when I go get another "mega-salad". I want to walk for 15 minutes 3x per week. This is not a lot, and I'm fair certain I could manage it. Even if it's more like hobbling for the first while until I get stronger. So why the kitchen timer? Simple! I set the timer for 7.5 minutes. Walk as far away as I can during that time, then walk back when the timer goes off. Voila! 15 minute walk. If I can convince myself to do this at lunchtime at work, it keeps my evenings free for cleaning, gaming and couch-potatoing.
Headaches, and insomnia, though. I think the headaches may be related to the lower blood-sugar. They FEEL like the ones I get when I forget to eat (or get caught in the middle of something and CAN"T eat.)
Called Dad last nite and told him about both the Diabetes and the tilapia. Spent a good hour trading recipies and test numbers. *grin* I think the trip will be in October. He's already making plans for what all we will do and eat when I get there. Amazingly, the man finds it in him to tell me he loves me now. Still chokes me up every time that he says it. I work to remember to tell him that I love him right before I hang up every time. If for some reason it's the last words he ever hears from me - so help me, they will be that I love him.
I talked to him a tiny bit about how angry I was at St. Paul the Lutheran Minister for telling me to stop stroking Mom's arm near the end. Dad wasn't happy that Paul had said that to me (he didn't hear it at the time). I wish so much that I hadn't listened to that pompous little git. It's hard to reconcile all the mistakes I made with my memories and feelings about Mom. The more that I think about all this, the angrier and more hateful I feel toward that self-righteous prick.
I don't have a brother. There is just some interfering busybody self-righteous religious prick with no brains who insists on kibbitzing between me and my FAMILY.
I wish he would die in a fire.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Improvement
So... The cheesecake is gone (Capt. Jack Sparrow: "But...Why is the Cheesecake gone?!!") and this morning after having a salad thing for lunch and a salami sandwich for dinner - 128.
That's 20 numbers lower than the first time I took it on Sunday. So I guess that is improvement. I don't want to eat Salad all the time however. It's ok once in a while, but Wabbit food is for Wabbits, Doc.
So I'm only 18 to 28 numbers from "normal".
The salami sandwich on oat-bran bread was tasty. I can do that. Will probably be ALL wrong for the cardio issues, but.. *shrug* I can only do so much at one time.
Tonite I shall have Tilapia fish. Dad showed me how to cook it. I hope it turns out even 1/2 as good as his was. Perhaps with cauliflower. (And white wine to keep with the "all white food" theme? Probably water, tho.)
I think I have some sugar-free Jello mix. Maybe that would be a tasty treat...
That's 20 numbers lower than the first time I took it on Sunday. So I guess that is improvement. I don't want to eat Salad all the time however. It's ok once in a while, but Wabbit food is for Wabbits, Doc.
So I'm only 18 to 28 numbers from "normal".
The salami sandwich on oat-bran bread was tasty. I can do that. Will probably be ALL wrong for the cardio issues, but.. *shrug* I can only do so much at one time.
Tonite I shall have Tilapia fish. Dad showed me how to cook it. I hope it turns out even 1/2 as good as his was. Perhaps with cauliflower. (And white wine to keep with the "all white food" theme? Probably water, tho.)
I think I have some sugar-free Jello mix. Maybe that would be a tasty treat...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
CLUNK - OWIE.... *sigh*
Ok, still in the process of moving into "acceptance". Without question I have bypassed the "bargaining with God" phase. That asshole NEVER keeps up his side of things.
But the rebellion is fading. In small steps, true, but fading. The chocolate cheesecake is gone, so that's no longer an issue. At lunch today - or maybe on the way home from work, I will get healthier food from the market.
I need to find the ADA diet - my nurse friend says it is a good thing and not "impossible" to follow. (Of course, medical professionals have been telling me for EONS that a 1500 calorie/day diet is not "impossible" to follow, so we shall take that with a tablespoon of ... umm.... CRAP - can't take it with salt (heart), can't take it with sugar (diabetes).... ok - we shall take it with a FUCKING PINT of sarcastic cynicism!!!) If naught else, it should give me some ideas of what is ok and what is not ok.
Insert the pointy thingy - twist off the protective cap - puncture thumb with pointy thingy. Squeeze out red thumb juice. Push button for testing tab. stick testing tab into red thumb juice. Wait for test thingy to give you number. Write down number. Throw away testing tab and pointy thingy. Meh.
So like... I need to call the Dadster and tell him about this. I'm not overwhelmingly looking forward to that. Then I need to figure out how soon I can haul arse down to Florida, stopping in Tennessee and (as demanded by Anonymous G/Friend from GRADE school... *grin*) in Georgia. At least doing it that way, I break up the 1200 mile one-way trip into more manageable chunks. I just wish someone would move Kentucky out of the way. It's bad ENOUGH that I have to drive through freaking INDIANA (the state that spawned Dan Quayle & the Moron Roscoe, and where they worship orange traffic cones).
Maybe October.
But the rebellion is fading. In small steps, true, but fading. The chocolate cheesecake is gone, so that's no longer an issue. At lunch today - or maybe on the way home from work, I will get healthier food from the market.
I need to find the ADA diet - my nurse friend says it is a good thing and not "impossible" to follow. (Of course, medical professionals have been telling me for EONS that a 1500 calorie/day diet is not "impossible" to follow, so we shall take that with a tablespoon of ... umm.... CRAP - can't take it with salt (heart), can't take it with sugar (diabetes).... ok - we shall take it with a FUCKING PINT of sarcastic cynicism!!!) If naught else, it should give me some ideas of what is ok and what is not ok.
Insert the pointy thingy - twist off the protective cap - puncture thumb with pointy thingy. Squeeze out red thumb juice. Push button for testing tab. stick testing tab into red thumb juice. Wait for test thingy to give you number. Write down number. Throw away testing tab and pointy thingy. Meh.
So like... I need to call the Dadster and tell him about this. I'm not overwhelmingly looking forward to that. Then I need to figure out how soon I can haul arse down to Florida, stopping in Tennessee and (as demanded by Anonymous G/Friend from GRADE school... *grin*) in Georgia. At least doing it that way, I break up the 1200 mile one-way trip into more manageable chunks. I just wish someone would move Kentucky out of the way. It's bad ENOUGH that I have to drive through freaking INDIANA (the state that spawned Dan Quayle & the Moron Roscoe, and where they worship orange traffic cones).
Maybe October.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Rebellion
I am angry. I am angry and I don't give a shit. Ok, I'll take your fucking pills, and I'll prick my goddamn fingers and smear blood on little tabs of paper - but goddamn it, I'm gonna eat Godiva Double Chocolate Cheesecake too.
Fuck this disease. Fuck this life. Fuck this bullshit. I am who I am - and I don't need some neophyte Dr. trying to tell me what, how or when to eat. Fuck this shit.
Fuck the notion of eating only bland, disgusting fish or oatmeal.
Fuck it.
Fuck life.
Fuck this disease. Fuck this life. Fuck this bullshit. I am who I am - and I don't need some neophyte Dr. trying to tell me what, how or when to eat. Fuck this shit.
Fuck the notion of eating only bland, disgusting fish or oatmeal.
Fuck it.
Fuck life.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Doctors
So tonite I go to the Dr. I thought it was yesterday, but I was WRONG!! *shrug*
Anyhow - in the midst of all that is going on, one of my cats seems to have fallen ill. She's always been such a fussbudget about keeping herself groomed, but there is a spot on her back - directly above her rear feet - that is matted and sticky and looks as if someone had gotten a lollypop stuck in it then pulled it off.
(No, the catly ones do NOT go out of the house - so no little rug-rats to threaten with lollies)
So I will most likely need to take Kili to the vet. This will be strange, taking only the ONE cat in. Mindi and Kili have been together since... well, heck since BEFORE birth - they were litter-mates. I'm not sure what Mindi will do if something bad happens to Kili. Probably become even MORE of a clingy, snuggly, annoying little putz than she already is. (Love her to death, but when it's 98 degrees outside, I don't really want to have a hot furry cat in my lap!)
When Dad called the other night, he told me he wants me to help him pick out wallpaper for the kitchen when I go down there. *grin* That sounds like fun. I need to get the car AC fixed first, however. ANFW I am gonna drive to Florida without AC. Did it once, but I was much younger and stupider then.
Ok - off to make my "bitch list" for the Dr. tonite. I want to have all my quackers in a row so I can be assertive and firm with him.
I hate Drs.
Anyhow - in the midst of all that is going on, one of my cats seems to have fallen ill. She's always been such a fussbudget about keeping herself groomed, but there is a spot on her back - directly above her rear feet - that is matted and sticky and looks as if someone had gotten a lollypop stuck in it then pulled it off.
(No, the catly ones do NOT go out of the house - so no little rug-rats to threaten with lollies)
So I will most likely need to take Kili to the vet. This will be strange, taking only the ONE cat in. Mindi and Kili have been together since... well, heck since BEFORE birth - they were litter-mates. I'm not sure what Mindi will do if something bad happens to Kili. Probably become even MORE of a clingy, snuggly, annoying little putz than she already is. (Love her to death, but when it's 98 degrees outside, I don't really want to have a hot furry cat in my lap!)
When Dad called the other night, he told me he wants me to help him pick out wallpaper for the kitchen when I go down there. *grin* That sounds like fun. I need to get the car AC fixed first, however. ANFW I am gonna drive to Florida without AC. Did it once, but I was much younger and stupider then.
Ok - off to make my "bitch list" for the Dr. tonite. I want to have all my quackers in a row so I can be assertive and firm with him.
I hate Drs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
