MICROSOFT SUCKS TEPID DONKEY BALLS

So I am trying to reinstall a program - and I can't do it because Microsoft in it's "infinite wisdom" (Translation:  FUCKING STUPIDITY) "temporarily suspended" my account for allegedly sending e-mail spam.  (never happened)

Problem is - they will ONLY unlock it by sending a TEXT MESSAGE to a cell phone - which I am currently without.

HEY BILL GATES - your OUTSOURCED "customer service" reps are liars and jerks - and unable to use any form of common sense. 

DO NOT buy a car at Zeigler Chevrolet in Schaumburg. They are liars, they are con artists and they are thieves. Gave them a check to hold a car. They called 2 days later and told me they couldn't hold it any more. I asked for my check - got a bunch of used-car-salesman-gobbledygook from "Amber". Went there tonight and they "can't give your check back, we will have to write you a check" - even though I was PROMISED by Amber and Omar that they would not cash the check until I got the check from the Abortion Failure's insurance. Then Zeigler tried repeatedly to sell me something else - I must look like I just fell off the turnip truck

The Flag. The Anthem. The Constitution

I do NOT pledge my allegiance to a flag.
Not the flag of the United States of America, nor any other.
I have no intention of pledging my allegiance to a scrap of cloth - a pathetic patchwork.

The flag is a symbol.
It is not the "thing".
If you piss on a flag - it does not start raining in Tuscon or Phoenix.
If you burn a flag, it doesn't set the water to boiling in Prudhoe Bay, or Anchorage.

I do not feel the need to stand and put my hand on my chest because someone starts playing "To Anacreon In Heaven" -- an old English drinking song.

If anyone joined the military because they wanted to protect a chunk of cloth, or a drinking song, then they joined for the wrong reasons, IMNSHO.  In the oath the military takes - NOWHERE is there mention of a "flag" or an "anthem" - but there sure as hell is a mention of the Constitution of the United States:

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed ...

And that is as it should be!  The Constitution is the document that makes the United States a nation.  It spells out how we run our government, which parts of the government are responsible for which actions.  It has been "amended" twenty seven times.  It is the heart and soul of our Republic.  I will pledge my allegiance to the Constitution - flawed as it is - because IT, and ONLY IT, is worth fighting for.

Cox Communications - WHAT A BUNCH OF DICKS

Unfortunately, the company I work for is forced to do business with Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) at our Arkansas location.  I say unfortunately, because Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) is completely incompetent and unable to even run their own website.

A month or so ago, Citibank in its Infinite Wisdom decided to cancel our company credit card and reissue another one with a different number because the original card had maybe possibly been "compromised".  We did not ask them to do this.  We found no fraudulent charges, nor any indication that the card was being used in a manner we were not happy with - but Citibank apparently decided differently.

I went to work calling all our vendors who bill us on a monthly basis and charge the credit card automatically.  I called Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) and tried to change the information.  I got told I had to do it online.  I tried to do it online, but their website would not take my login information.

I called "Customer Support" ("Hi, my name is Dick, and I can help you" - except they never can) and got the runaround shuffle - finally talked to someone who said she would change the information for me.  Gave her the new card info.

A week ago I got a letter in the mail informing us that our payment had "bounced" because the card we had was denied, and that they were now going to charge us $30.00 for a "returned check fee".  If we tried to pay over the phone, we would incur an ADDITIONAL $10.00 fee for the privilege.

WHAT

A

BUNCH

OF

DICKS

So I called again.  I fought with the Stepford Customer Service Rep and got them to get rid of the $30 charge.  They wouldn't back down, however, on the $10 fee to pay over the phone.  Went to login online to pay - still can't get to their site.  

Called their Tech Support line, they don't have us set up online anymore.  DICKS

So we re-registered, I paid the bill online with the new card, and the Tech Support guy helped get the credit card information updated and changed.

Today I got an e-mail.  It said that they had cancelled our auto-bill-pay because "The envelope expired"

I called to find out WTF they meant by that.  Got put on hold because "Hi, my name is Dick, and I can help you" couldn't help me and needed to transfer me to the Arkansas office,  He put me on hold.  He never came back.  10 minutes later, I hung up and called Cox Communications (A bunch of Dicks) again.

This time I got a female dick.  She too wanted to transfer me to Arkansas.  I told her about the 10 minute waste of time, and she assured me that she could help me get past that.  By this time I've rolled my eyes so many times I'm getting myself dizzy.

Apparently there actually are a few Dicks down in Arkansas, and one of them talked to me.  Told me that I had been supposed to "verify the autopay set-up".  Told me they had called me.  I beg to differ.  Nobody called.  The dicks called the Arkansas location, which is not a location that would have the information they would need, so the voice mail that they left was deleted by the solo employee down there.  

The story goes on.  The ridiculousness of the so-called "Customer Service" dicks knows no bounds.

And then they said it would take 1 or 2 "billing cycles" for the change to take effect.  Cox Communications (A Bunch of Dicks©) - YOU SUCK

Someone Else Wrote This - but I think it is important to spread.

 Marriage is simply a contract, recognized by the State, which defines how the parties to the contract will share property, financial and personal obligations, and so forth. In exchange, they are given certain legal rights (e.g. inheritance, power of attorney, visitation in hospitals, and so forth). It's a civil contract, which means it is a civil right.

This is not to be confused with a religious ceremony recognized by your church -- e.g. a Wedding, "holy matrimony" -- which generally has no legal validity with the state.

You can be married (Justice of the Peace) without a church wedding. As long as you registered a Marriage License, the state will recognize your marriage, but your church might not. The state is free to say who can be married -- but it is not free to dictate the beliefs of your church (or anyone else's), including who is allowed to have a wedding ceremony in your church.

And you can have a wedding at your church without bothering to register the marriage with the state. (It's called a Marriage License, not a Wedding License.) Your church will recognize your marriage, but the state might not. Your church is free to say who can have a wedding in your church -- but it is not free to dictate who the state will allow to be married, or to tell other churches to recognize the marriage.

They're entirely separate things.

Ode to Fox

We were all set to marry

We'd set the special day

I knew that there was nothing

to get into our way

But then to my great horror

in shock, I screamed "The heck?"

I saw my dear beloved

Was watching that "Glenn Beck"

I've had my share of troubles

I've lived through my hard knocks

but nothing could prepare me

to see him watching "Fox"

We'd had genetic testing

I didn't doubt his sanity

Until I saw my boyfriend

tuned in to "Fox" and "Hannity"

He said that Bill O'Reilly

Was balanced, fair and true

I raised my middle finger.

I told my love "Fuck You"

FUCK COMCAST
 I pay a lot every month for their internet "Service" - and expect to get the advertised "Blazing Fast" 24/7 365 High-Speed Internet Service.

 For the last 10 days I've had maybe a total of 20 min. of EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW internet connectivity. Web pages taking 1-2 minutes to load. "Customer Service" having been outsourced to Bangaladesh or Pakistan or "Fuckyoucustomerstan", where "Suzie" and "Chris" and "Jessie" and "David" and ... yes.... "RINGO" are just Ever so happy to help... thankyouverymuch

Lie, after Lie after LIE about when they will fix it. Sat home all day Sunday waiting for their technician - who was never actually SCHEDULED - despite "Chris" and "Suzie" claiming that I'd get calls to confirm and that a tech would be by between "3 and 5 pm"

 FUCK YOU, COMCAST

 I'll be looking for a different internet provider shortly. Anyone got any recommendations?

CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE!!!!!!!

FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!  DANCE IN THE STREETS!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!  ONE DOWN, SEVERAL MORE TO GO!!!  DANCE IN THE STREETS!!!!!

CELEBRATE!!!!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!  DANCE IN THE STREETS, SCREAM "YAHOOO!!!!" OUT YOUR CAR WINDOWS!!!

THANK GOD FOR DEAD PHELPS AND ROPERS!  FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!PARTY ON!!!

FRED PHELPS IS ROTTING IN HELL!!!  CELEBRATE!!!   HOPEFULLY HE'S BEING BUGGERED BY DEAMONS AS I TYPE!!!
FRED PHELPS IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!
GOD HATES WESTBORO BAPTISTS!!!!
THANK GOD FOR DEAD PHELPS AND ROPERS!

Got a bit excited there... LOL

Bagger Baiting

I've come up with a new game. It's really easy to play, and works best on social media - although newsblogs like Huffington Post or Daily Kos work well too.

The name of the game is "Bagger Baiting". The point of the game is to troll "Tea Party" baggers into mouth-frothing idiocy. While many of them start off in this state - it is seriously fun to poke and prod their fellowbaggers along to join them.

There are a few rules:

1) No cussing. Cussing requires use of the "Swear Jar" - proceeds go to me.
2) You must present totally TRUTHFUL, legitimate arguments, and be prepared to slap down a link to a neutral news site to back yourself up.
3) As soon as one of them plays the "n" word card(nazi), you must be prepared to immediately invoke Godwin's Law.
4) Under no circumstances should you ever allow yourself to be provoked to breaking Godwin's Law.
5) Remember, Free Republic, Foxnews, and other bagger sites are NOT legitimate links, and such needs to be emphasized.
6) The use of foul language, name-calling or causing the invocation of Godwin's Law automatically constitutes a "win" for you. Take a shot - or chug a beer - or just LYFWAO.

A lot of these baggers are actually corporate shills, spewing TeapubliChristofascistEvangeliban talking points for the glorious recompense of $0.05 per post. They're easy targets, as they really don't have much more than their original talking-point as ammuntion, so they will fall for the Godwin gambit - or be forced to contribute to YOUR swear jar.

Enjoy.

Why I prefer the "dark side"

It is really a sad thing - that forever we've as a species considered darkness to be equivalent with evil and/or danger.  I understand where some of the prejudice comes from, those ancient ancestors of ours huddling around a fire, afraid of the carnivores they could not see.  But really....

When we take it to the point where a person with dark skin is automatically considered to be a danger, a threat - evil, so to speak, isn't that just pulling the fabric a bit too taut?  Similar to the restriction against boiling a calf in it's mother's milk being taken to the point of making tasty, tasty cheeseburgers a sin?

Darkness is where we heal, during sleep.  Darkness is cozy.  Darkness is cooler than the harsh, scalding rays of afternoon.  The coolness of darkness can be mitigated by adding another layer of clothing - but you can only take off so much in the heat of the day before you become a "sex offender" in the eyes of the law.

Fetuses gestate in the darkness of the womb.  Gently rocking in a warm, dark place with the comforting beat of the mother's heart... they cry when the light hits their newborn eyes.

In these hot hot hot hot hot summer days, I am always looking forward to sundown, when the temperature plummets and I can curl up with a book and relax - in the comfort of the darkness, away from the noise, and bustle and glare of the light.