I have a cold

Not just "a cold"
A wing-ding-dong-dilly of a cold.

I not only know the exact size and shape of every sinus cavity in my head, I also know the precise volume of snot that each will release given a really GOOD blow.

Coughing is a whole new exercise in anti-vomiting techniques. I am the repository of all that is mucus, and precious little else. I am cold - yet when I bundle up, my own body warmth causes outbreaks of the sweats. I cough up a lung.

That little space between the nose and upper lip - right between the two nostrils - has become the epicenter of raw and inflamed tissue.

Dextromethorphan is our friend.
Pseudoephedrine is not - but we sure as hell wish it was.
Guaifenesin really tries, but is not an acceptable substitute.
I have a headache THIS >--------------------------------------< big and it has Excedrine written all over it.

I want to die.
*coughs*

The Evil Within

Sometimes I wonder about me. Sometimes I am very gleeful at things that are not good happening to others.

I found out today that someone I utterly despise - is getting a divorce. My first reaction, and honestly, the one I still am holding as I type this - is that it couldn't be happening to a more deserving guy.

The man is a misogynist nightmare - an Xtian with his head so far up his ass it's probably necessary for him to have a plate-glass bellybutton just to walk forward.

I have always felt the utmost sympathy and pity for his wife. Now I'm just happy for her - I feel nothing but contempt still for him.

The Evil Within

This afternoon my boss called me into his office, and told me something that has me utterly stunned. Some years back I worked for a guy who was one of the most genuinely evil individuals I've ever met. Lying, scheming, cheating - he was utterly worthless as a human being, IMNSHO.

This man tried his best to destroy me - to ruin my life, to make me completely and utterly destitute and miserable.

Monday night he was killed in an aircraft crash.

And I'm not sad.

And I wonder... should I be?

It's only Rock 'n Roll...

This weekend I experienced a phenomenon that took my breath away. Beside being transported back to my somewhat unruly late teen years, I got to see something most people never see. Jumpin' Jack Flash.

3 dead guys playing music. Please allow me to introduce myself...

Ok, ok - yeah, I'm being facetious - but it's really amazing that these guys who did everything "wrong" - are still going that hard at mid-60's. Hey!! You!! Get off my cloud...

Monday night I was at the United Center in Chicago, up in section 306, row 10. A bit nose-bleed, but thanks to the jumbotron screen set up behind the main stage, the view was awesome..... Much BETTER than our seats in the nose-bleed section of the old Chicago Stadium back in 1974. Not as good as the "right behind the stage" skybox tickets in 1999, but... You can't always get what you want....

For the 3rd time in my life I got to see the Rolling Stones in concert. The guy on WLUP had it right - once you've seen the Rolling Stones, everything else is JUST a concert. Yeah, when you call my name, salivate like a Pavlov dog...

But coming out of that arena - bag of overpriced souvenier merchandise in my hand, a sort of sweet, nostalgic mesmerized feeling was swimming in my head. Things I hadn't thought about in years - Susan sitting in the passenger seat next to me as we drove back down I-290, flipping off the East Avenue bridge, remembering Dippy and Chico and the night we banged up the Pinto. I sit and watch, as tears go by....

Still missing JS after all these years, sometimes. Laughter, joy and loneliness...

Was it worth the exhorbitant price of the admission ticket? The rediculous price of parking? The 2 vacation days taken to get ready for Susan coming up to visit, and to recouperate from the long night? Let's spend the night together....

OH HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!

It's only Rock 'n Roll, but I like it... like it... yes I do.

Just a week and a half to go....

January 23 - United Center!!!

I get to see the Rolling Stones again. Woohoo!!! So I got the "A Bigger Bang" CD so I'd know the songs before the concert - wow, is this a good album. I love some of the songs - certainly the 2 that are getting airplay, but "Sweet Neocon" is a hoot!

But my favorite is one of the "airtime" ones - "Oh No, Not You Again!"

*grin*


I noticed they changed the lyrics for the radio version.... damn neocons.....

I have a dream

Nononono - this isn't going to be some thought-provoking neopolitical tripe like MLK's speech.

Last nite I had a vivid dream. Stupid, but vivid. I dreamed I was asking my new doctor - who was female - if she would be writing script for me to get my meds refilled. DUH.

I've had a lot of weird dreams. Every year or so I have the one where all my teeth fall out - my annual "Make that dentist's appointment and get the choppers cleaned!" self-reminder. As a kid, I used to be able to fly in my dreams. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

When I was pregnant - I used to have the WILDEST dreams. I remember one clearly, I was kneeling in the dirt behind the parents' garage, burying a shoebox full of vegetables like carrots and turnips. I have no idea why.

I also remember the dream rooms. These rooms either started from the top of the stairs in my grandmother's house in Chicago - or behind the bookshelf (why do I always hear Terri Garr saying "behint zee booksheff" from Young Frankenstein?) in my childhood bedroom.

There wasnt' anything "ominous" or "frightening" - nothing magical - just a set of stairs and my curiosity to see what was there. Rooms decorated in golds and greens, heavy flocked wallpaper and lots of fringe. Carved woodwork stained dark. Frosted-globe light fixtures, curving thick bannisters and carpeted staircases...

I can still see them. I wish I could live there. It was pretty.

Maybe I should go phone up my doctor...

Going Postal - it's not just for USPS anymore!

Well, well, well.

Seems the THIEVES at UPS have decided to take a page from the USPS handbook on being disgruntled.

Now, I could go on and on and on at LENGTH about what ratzenfratzen scum sucking THIEVES the people at UPS are, but I just found it amusing that the "Postal employee" syndrome has migrated over to UPS as well.

Not really surprised, though. Considering the amount of slave labor they expect out of folks who only get part-time wages and benefits, it was only a matter of time before the THIEVES started to rebel.

I will not be happy until I get Artie-the-computer back.

Be It Resolved:

As this is the last week of 2005, it behooves me as a responsible tradition-keeper (to an extraordinarly low standard) to make a list of the things I will and will not try to do during the coming year.

This list of "resolutions" is an attempt to put my life back at some level of normalcy, and my house in such shape as to not engender fears of an impending visitation from the Dept. of Health & Human Services.

Resolution 1:

As of Midnight on the 31st of December 2005, I will cease and desist from posting or reading on message boards or other media that piss me off. Simply put - I'm gone. I have MUCH better things to do with my time than get angry at some nitwit who wants to live in the dark ages and keep women as chattel.


Resolution 2:

Starting on January 1, 2006 and continuing until such time as all the component parts are completed, I will spend 10 minutes each morning and 10 minutes each evening working on one of the listed "10 minute" items.

Resolution 3:

I will pay off at least 3 of the long-term debts that are plaguing my psyche.

Resolution 4:

In an effort to recover my health and well-being, I will participate in 10 minutes of vigorous exercise daily. The severity of this exercise will increase as my stamina and endurance increases. I can handle 10 minutes, dammit.

Resolution 5:

With reference to the goals of Resolution 4, I will take time to plan meals, purchase foods wisely and provide myself with healthy alternative "finger foods" to keep from noshing on crap. My health is paramount, loss of weight would be nice.

Resolution 6:

I will visit all appropriate physicians as soon as I get the information on our next year's insurance plan.



Ok - that's 1/2 a dozen, and quite enough to start off with. I've begun the "10 minute" list, and it's coming along nicely. Hopefully this can be a year of recovery.

Blessings to all.

Donuts and Potholes

Oh what a beautiful Morn.... *thump* Crap. Hit a pothole.

thud..thud..thud..thud...thud....

CRAP

Flat tire.

Limping slowly to the nearest parkinglot. Empty the trunk. Pull out the little round donut spare. Pull out the jack. I hate this jack. I also hate the tire iron. It's not really a tire iron - its' this tube thingy with a hinge. I don't know where to put the jack.

Scoot into the building. Ask the 2 guys who are ripping wallpaper off the walls if I can borrow a phone - I got a flat. Kind, kind, young man. Lets me use his cell, then tells me HE will change the tire.

Ok, 99.9999999% of the time I'm independent and damn proud of it. Only 2 things really are beyond me. 1) flipping the Hinkley & Schmidt water bottle on the water cooler, and 2) changing a flat tire.

Oh I know the concept of changing a flat. And I USED to flip the water bottle myself all the time - until my back went wonky. But the actual REALITY of changing a flat tire is somewhat beyond me.

Which isn't the worst thing in the world, I suppose. The lug nuts had been put on with one of those air-powered high-torque wrench guns at the tire shop a couple years ago and the kind young man kinda bent up and broke the stupid not-really-a-tire-iron. Fortunately, his compadre had a REAL steel tire iron, so the little donut spare is on my car, the flat is in the trunk, and my hands are all covered in rust from the stupid annoying little jack and the bent-up fake tire iron.

So I get to buy 2 new tires.

Bleh.

Where are all those sugar daddies?? They should have called by now!!

Christmas Greed List

So last night the Prince asks me what I want for Christmas. Bah. I don't know. I know what I want - but from him? Let's face it, he's not exactly the person to tell my deep-dark secrets to.

But.

Now that it's safely past any "last minute shopping" frenzy that anyone could do, I think I'm gonna make me a greed list. Stuff I just WANT. Not need. Not even would use on a regular basis... I don't give a flying fuck about 'the true meaning of the season' as it relates to this post. I know it's very material. This is about greed, dammit!!

Just stuff that would be really cool to get. I don't expect any of it. Stuff like:

Like a laptop computer that I could use for computer graphics or games. Just something so that if I end up in the hospital again, I don't go stir crazy. Would be nice to have at work too, or on vacation.

Computer hardware. An optical mouse. A cordless optical mouse and keyboard would be even cooler. Imagine being able to type from a prone position without cords all over!! I want one or more of those cute little usb stick drives too. They're cute. They saved my butt when Bob the computer became Dead Bob the computer. More RAM for Norm, the new XP box.

More bookshelves. Ok, this is one I'd use all the time. The more, the merrier. My house is like a library anyhow - might as well do up a dewey decimal thing and actually categorize and shelve them properly, rather than just stacking them on any available horizontal surface.

Remodelled bathrooms. Mine suck.
Remodelled kitchen. See bathrooms - above.

A landscaping slave for 2 days in May.

A real - REAL leather jacket.

New washer and dryer.

Emerald and diamond earrings.



That would do for starters. All you multi-millionaire sugar daddies line up and take a number. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. Gotta go now - I'm sure this phone will start ringing off the hook any moment now...

Making Someone's Day

I love it when I can make someone's day better. I used to love giving out paychecks back when I worked for the pharmaceutical company. Everyone smiled when I came around on Friday. It felt really good.

Today I got that chance again - in a different, but rather more spectacular way.

Early this morning - 9:00 or so - a man came to our door and said he had found some keys on the sidewalk by our door. Odd. We asked everyone in the plant and office, but nobody recognized them.

Jason went next door to see if they belonged to anyone at any of our neighbors, but nobody had lost any. He even went into the parkinglot and hit the "panic" button on the remote entry/lock device to see if he could locate the car. No luck.

So, we kept the keys on the desk by me - and figured we'd wait & see.

About 1:30 pm, a rather frazzled looking telephone company repairman came to the door and looked sheepish as he explained that he figured it was a long shot, but had anyone found any keys?

I looked him straight in the eye, smiled a little and asked if he could identify them. He looked shocked - then stunned - then hopeful, as he described the large blue plastic keychain bauble from the car dealership. I walked over to my desk, got the keys and handed them right over - he was all but happy-dancing in the lobby.

I told him to have a REALLY great day - and then Virgil came by, saw what was happening and told him to go buy a lottery ticket - it was obviously his lucky day.

*grin*

I still feel happy at having been able to be the one to make this stranger feel so very happy by returning his lost keys.

*smile*