BabyStar

Well, I've been working on this for about 3 weeks now. The baby in question is due in July - so I have a short while yet to finish it. I hate quilting in a hoop. This is my first trial to get a picture to show up, so bear with me...




If you look closely at the outter edges, you can see the zoo/jungle print that I'm using for the backing fabric. I think I've pretty much decided that I absolutely, positively HATE using a hoop to quilt - but this thing is too small for me to put onto my frame. I always love working with bright colors, and although my digital camera is somewhat "challenged" when it comes to color reproduction - the exact shades are close to what you see here - the orange is much MORE orange - and the yellow is banana yellow - that sort of differences. Not too bad, really.

This is a work in progress, of course. Hopefully I can finish it "on time" - cross fingers, k?

Found Them

Ah, the joy - the bliss - the headaches are over.. I found the glasses.

Apparently in my zeal to clean and tidy everything in my house last week, I had put down my glasses on the bed, then worked on the baby quilt I'm producing and put that down on top of the glasses. When I went to take the project (baby quilt is in a large embroidery hoop to quilt it - it's too small for my frame), the glasses slipped off the bed and underneath.

So yesterday I was totally focused on finishing the baby quilt AND finding my glasses, and I dropped the thread spool, which decided to try and hide under the bed, and upon retreival, there were my glasses, sitting on the floor as if saying "Well, dummy! We've been here all along, what is YOUR problem?"

duh.

If I can ever figure how to put a picture in this thing, I'll post one when this current baby quilt is done. It's very pretty, and I kind of feel proud of how it turned out. It's a Mariner's Compass that is 20" across, then surrounded by rainbow colored pinwheels. Bright as can be, and the backing fabric is a zoo/jungle print in bright primary colors as well. I'm just very worried about quilting on this hoop thing. Even using my frame, sometimes things get crooked or small "tucks" - this hoop feels too loosey-goosey for my liking.

By tonight I should have more than 2/3 of the hand quilting done, however, and I hope to have the pinwheels WELL started by the end of this weekend.

I think I should go read on how things work now... *grin*

Cynicism 101

Simon and Garfunkle speak for me today:


I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I distain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
I've heard the words before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I'd never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
and my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no oneand no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

Memorial Day Weekend

Ahh, the first "real" holiday of the year. (Good Friday doesn't count because even though I get the day off of work, it's too damn cold to do anything fun)

Had a bbq - the 2nd of the season. Usually this would be the first, but Caputo's had this really great sale on top sirloin steaks about 3 weeks ago and I could NOT resist. The smell of charcoal lighter fluid on the breeze, watching the 2 ft. high flames lick toward the stupid wood fence, the heady aroma of sizzling beef... mmmmmmmmm

Too bad there wasn't sweet corn worth buying at the market yet. Soon, however... soon. Strawberries and cream make up for it, however. I just love the fresh and GOOD fruits and vegetables from now until fall. The imported stuff is just not as tasty.

So I learned how to start my grill better - seems I'm too impatient. This will come, no doubt, as a complete and utter SHOCK to anyone who knows me at all - considering what a patient and unhurried person I am. *cough*

"Soak them coals with fluid, then throw the match at 'em" said my neighbor, and so... I did... and so.... they burst into 3 ft. tall flames in the stiff breeze - looking for all the world as if they wanted to chow down on my fence. Being patient, I did NOT throw water on them, just watched so very warily - until the fire died down to some small flames flickering near the bottom.

"Ok, leave it sit now for about 20 minutes."

HUH????

"Leave it sit. Go read you book or get more of them little pieces of cloth sewn together - but LEAVE IT SIT." Meekly I submitted and went inside - shuddering at the thought of the fire going out and being left with a lump of dusty-looking charcoal.

To my amazement, when I came back, the coals were dusty looking, but red and shining under the dust. The heat was just right - so on went the steak and off I went to hull strawberries and boil some beans.

Gosh that was yummy.

I may just do that again later this week.
:)

Win Cash Prize!!

If you can figure out WHERE THE BLOODY HELL I lost my glasses at.

Had them Thursday - sometime between getting home from work Thursday nite and getting ready to leave for work Friday morning - they have gone missing.

Thank the goddess, I have the old ones, but they give me headaches, I really need to find the new ones - quickly. I haven't got the $100 to get a replacement pair!

So I've carefully looked in all my "usual" spots to leave my glasses - nada
Tried some "unusual spots" - nada.

So then I cleaned off my desk, tore apart the bed, cleaned up the sewing room, and crawled on the floor in the bedroom to look under furniture... nada as well.

Soooooo
Leave me suggestions, comments, ideas... and your e-mail address. If you're the lucky soul who figures out where the damn things are, I seriously WILL send a modest (very modest... exceptionally so) cash reward.
*grin*

Void where prohibited. Open to US residents only. All rights reserved. Contains no artificial preservatives.

Falling in Love is Bad for the Heart

Dysrhythmia, I think they called it on that insurance form. Or something of a similar yet less y-ridden spelling. Apparently while everyone else's heart is going "Whoosh, thud - whoosh, thud - whoosh, thud" - mine goes something like "Whoosh, thud, bumpa, bumpa, bumpa, Woosh, thud, " I like to think of it as synchopation. I'm definately marching to a different beat.

That combined with the hypertension (again with the Y's) and Deep Veinous Thrombosis, Pulmonary Embolism, and slightly enlarged heart - I'm a walking advertisement for "Drugs R Us".

So I find myself in a delicate situation. I seem to be falling in love. Unfortunately, the object of my affections is rather unsuitable, for a number of reasons, none of which really needs to be aired just here. Suffice it to say that the entire time/space continuum seems to have aligned itself against our finding that elusive gentle-quiet loving relationship together.

So of course, this causes minor chest pains, the occasional bit of odd cramping in my leg and a strange congestion that I'm not sure if it is related or not. Ok, I'm paranoid as a rule, and can always find the dark cloud surrounding ANY silver lining, but it hurts. Worry is my middle name, so that probably just exacerbates the situation.

I'd have thought nothing of it, but another friend of mine has also become involved in an inappropriate relationship. Hearing my friend discussing shortness of breath, hot flashes and almost passing-out with heart racing and some chest pain - just highlighted for me that maybe this whole "falling in love" thing is - in fact - not real good for one's health.

But.. oh my goddess... it feels so.... wonderful - in between the health thingys...

Tales from the Dysfunctional Dennys

Yes, Dennys - the restaurant. Oh sure, the chain itself has had more than it's share of drama and infamy, but the Dennys herein cited is the Dennys by my house. Technically, I suppose I could walk to it if I were so inclined. It's just a little old Dennys, in a small shopping center right off the main road through town.

For a while, it seemed as if they had signed on to a "help hire the handicapped" program. Not that such a program is a bad thing! But it seemed as if this Dennys, instead of just taking all kinds of handicapped individuals - chose to pick and choose only the terminally stupid.

Now, listing all of the stupid things that happened there would take pages, pages and more pages - and I'm not in the mood. But the one that stands out the most is the night our waiter decided to quit during our order.

My (at the time) roommate Jon and I had gone for dinner. We decided to be "bold" and do a full dinner thing - appetizers, salads, actual entrees' and dessert. We also had a tendancy to be a bit filppant and silly when we would go out. Our young waiter came to the table and asked if we were ready - and we asked for JUST a bit more time - and some iced tea while we perused the menu.

The kid brought the drinks, tossed some straws on the table and asked if we were ready. We were. We placed our order, then Jon handed him back the straws. (We don't use straws if we don't have to - not real fond of them.) The kid gave him a funny look and asked why we didn't want the straws, to which I replied "Because we don't suck".

Hey - I thought it was clever.

About 1/2 an hour later, Jon flagged down a busboy and asked where our food was. The guy didn't speak english too well, but he was kind enough to refill our tea and went to find out something. He disappeared too.

Now, Jon and I were the only 2 customers in the back section of the restaurant. Something wasn't right, and Jon went to talk to a manager. Shortly thereafter we got our salads. Ok, this is better. Again we waited. This time when Jon went up, he was loaded for bear and ready to rock. Jon was an incredible person - he could bitch you up one side and down the other without ever raising his voice a single decibel. I never heard what transpired, but Jon came back and told me that our food would be up shortly.

The manager himself came with the food - and outrageous apologies. Seems.. our waiter just up and quit - walked out the back door and never returned. Of course, we got the dinners for free - but we made sure to find that bus-boy. He was embarassed - he didn't want to take the money - but we felt that the tip belonged to him - he was the only one who gave us any service without being hounded into it.

It was.... amazing. This comes to mind because of last Saturday's lunch. Yes, I still do go to the Dysfunctional Dennys. Now that I know it is - it's more of an entertainment to see where the dysfunctional will manifest itself, than any form of annoyance. This time everything was almost eerily "normal" - until checkout when it took 8 staff members to ring up my order. *smile*

Made my day.

Belief

Believing is so many things. Believing is at the core of all relationships - the belief that someone else loves you or hates you - the belief that someone else is loveable or despicable.

How is it that one good friend sees a woman as a goddess, a dream, a fantasy beyond imagining - and I see her as a manipulative, conniving, greedy and grasping succubus who will destroy him?

How is it that another friend tells me that I have talents I never dreamed existed - and yet refuses to accompany me to participate in the very exercises that would bring those talents to light?

How is it that someone can tell me he loves me, can't stand to be apart from me - then seems to have reason after reason after reason why we can't do things together? How exactly am I supposed to foster "belief" in this "love"? Right now, I hurt like hell over this.

I got a ration the other morning from someone for not having "faith" in them. I think I am quickly losing faith in anything and everything. How can there be faith when there is no proof? This was always my problem as an xtian - and it continues now. Why is it that I'm expected to bare those secret places, secret thoughts, private sanctuaries to others - only to deal with ridicule and harassment, on the rare, off-chance that there MIGHT be something to come of it?

Hot flashes, chest pains and a headache - and depression. Happy Friday.

Ahhhhh - zzzzzzzz

The joy of a new mattress!

For years I've joked about the "dent" in the old one, and my friends thought it was just a joke. Guess what guys? No joke. Tuesday the delivery guys came by and hauled away that sorry excuse for a sleeping surface and left in it's place a lovely, new, exceptionally TALL mattress.

This thing is at least 6 to 8 inches thicker than the old one. Feels like I'd need a ladder to get into bed now. But once there... oh my my my!

So comfortable. The first night was rough - sleeping in a new place always is for me - but last night I was like a rock. Were it not for that ingrained inner alarm clock, I'd still be there snoozing, and it's after 10:00 a.m. now.

If my boss is right, and sleep deprivation is part of why I feel like crap most days - it will be interesting to find out what it feels like to NOT feel like crap.

I may like that.

Starting Points

Where does one begin in babbling out one's inner thoughts to the universe? So many things run through my mind, but they're all so jumbled up sometimes.

Everyone talks to me. It's hard for me to talk. So many have trusted me with their deep-dark selves, and I can't betray those trusts - so it feels as if I walk around with the world sometimes. But I wouldn't ever want to NOT be available for my friends.

Yesterday a co-worker made a smartass remark about how I let one of my internet buddies wake me up with an IM program at 3:00 a.m. Essentially she said that if anyone woke her up at 3:00 a.m., she'd tell them to go to hell. Nice little christian that she is....

See - the friend in question is having one of the hardest times of his life - going through pre-divorce trauma and some serious depression issues associated with it. I've been there. I've done that. I know how you can't guarantee that the worst of the depression isn't going to hit except during "normal socializing hours". How can I NOT be there for him - when so many were "there" for me when it was my turn?

It's things like that - that cause me to have renounced "xtianity". I can't reconcile what I see from it's followers, and what I have read in the bible - not with each other, and not with what I know as fact.

No doubt my brother will expect me to go to hell.
At least it will be warm.