Ok, after the Great Kitchen Chicken Fiasco of a week ago, I purchased new batteries for my (current) smoke alarms. After 3 days it became abundantly apparent that this was not the "fix" that was needed.
The alarms went off if the cat walked past. They went off when I opened the bathroom door after taking my shower (that is STEAM, not smoke!!) they went off if the wind blew through the windows. They went off if I cooked bacon. They went off if you looked at them funny, and they LOVED to go off at 2 am. Obviously with fresh batteries, this was not a "low battery" warning - they were just being snots.
So yesterday I went to Menards to Save Big Money, and looked into some new smoke/fire detectors. I figured that after 20 years they probably had advanced in smoke-detector technology to where one could live with a smoke alarm without hearing from it every 20 minutes or so.
Pedro, the nice guy in a blue vest at Menards showed me where the alarms were and we went through them. I bought a more expensive one, because it has a feature that I simply WILL not live without ever again. You can use ANY television remote control and tell it to STFU if it goes off when there really isn't a valid reason for it to do so. You can also tell it to STFU if it decides it's battery is low at 2 am, and it will wait for a more civilized hour to get it's power supply replaced.
Now, granted, the Great Kitchen Chicken Fiasco was a valid reason. There was certainly smoke, lots of smoke, and it was certainly a BAD THING®. But it's now been over a week, and the house barely has any smoke smell anymore, so there is literally NO reason for the alarms to be having fits anymore. The new alarms are somewhat more "hi-tech" looking as well. No more large white lozenges on the wall. These look more like blobs of marshmallow fluff.
They better work. I'll be putting them up this weekend.